debbra's Journal, 08 December 2008

Yup... being a mom is tough. I'm not a mom but if I were and the little guys were griefing me I would force them both to do exercise with me for 15 minutes. They'll either love it (they get mom time) or they'll hate it and do what they're told. I did this on some nieces and nephews, once and it worked. Not the same, I know, but maybe worth a shot next time. I guess, there isn't always "normal" in family life. Chaos rules the day. For that reason, I think the "reach out" into the online world is a good thing and is a good step towards more mindful eating. It's a learning curve and if you're new to dieting, or have "failed" at a diet before, there are many food relationship and diet management coping skills you'll learn as you go along. All I can say is think of how proud you'll be the next time when you get through a similar situation without eating the candy, or eating less of the candy. Maybe sit the boys down and explain to them that mom needs them to be good for 1/2 hour?? Whatever, you do, DON'T feel guilty. It's a useless emotion and being a mom is tough enough. Work out, blow off some steam and get back on the diet band wagon tomorrow. The reality is, we all fall off the band wagon once in a while. Wish I could help more. 

Thanks Curvygirl! After I exercised, I felt so bad about complaining about my kids that I deleted that part. They're great kids, and homework time tends to be trying. But I try to be patient. My real downfall that led to my bad mood today was that overeating of yesterday. It wasn't slight. It was pretty extreme, almost as though I was reacting to so much control. I guess I need a splurge day every once in a while. But I'm trying to learn to live with it. 

You shouldn't feel bad about complaining about the kids. I'm sure they're great kids, and therefore, I bet you're a great mom. Complain away!! This is your "safe place". I'm always shocked by the pressure that moms put themselves under and the guilt they feel for just being a human being. My Big Boss man always says, there on only two types of thoughts: Positive and Constructive, never negative on yourself, only constructive. And PS: I TOTALLY pigged out on yam fries on the weekend. To which my personal trainer colleague said that those aren't our downfall, it's the wee snacking and nibbling. If you can conquer that, you can afford a splurge every once in a while. Gosh, I do wish this posting interface would allow paragraph returns. 8) 

Thank you!!! It really does help to come on here and vent. I'm on here this morning, even before I exercise, to get my mind in the place I want it. I actually love being a mom. And they are really great kids. My problem, really, is my irritation at myself. You know, I've been dieting since I was about 10 or 11 years old, when I started becoming a chubby little girl. So I've been up and down, obviously, for years. And I remember in high school I knew a guy who told me I'm always nicer to him when I get skinnier. I'll never forget that. It's not just about my weight. It's about my attitude. I want to be able to pig out without feeling bad about it. I know I'm going to do it once in a while. I just want to stay self-satisfied at all times. That's the hardest part. 

I know all about the "chubby little girl" thing... My nickname by my family when I was a child was "Fats". Nice, hey? 

see how "safe" this place is???? I've never actually told anyone that. [big sigh out]