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I’m tired today. It’s cycle time and this is the point where the exhaustion kicks in. It’ll last for about three days, I think. But in the meantime, everything is a struggle to complete. I just did 20 mins of recumbent bike riding and it felt like an hour; not physically, just mentally. I loose my appetite around this time, too. Although, this morning I was a bit hungrier than usual which is why I ended up adding those tortilla chips to breakfast. I had to do some juggling and eliminate something and still I’m over by 27 cals. Okay, remember you’re not working on perfection. I just don’t want to bump up to 1400 cals.
I like this Fat Secret site. I can do allot of the same things that the others are doing with MY Fitness Pal. I’m sure they have other bells and whistles, but I just need the basics and mostly, I need it to work with JAWS. I’m sure there’s a way for JAWS to work with My Fitness Pal, but I have an older version and I don’t have the patience to figure it out for this version.
This exhaustion has me in a mental fog so I’m gonna have to work extra hard to concentrate and get more done today than I did yesterday. It started yesterday and I didn’t realize it.
I still need to get my scale working for next weeks challenge. I’ll have Richard weigh me so I can have something to compare my scale results to.
I’m reading this book called “Recovering Your Identity” about dealing with eating disorders. I’m the compulsive Overeater and the author’s
description is pretty accurate accept for why and how my anxiety manifests itself. He states that people with eating disorders are over acheivers and are anxious because they’re trying to please. Well part of that is right for me. I used to and sometimes still catch myself wanting to please. But most of my anxiety stems from dealing with the outside world and my blindness. I’ve given up trying to over achieve…hell..trying to achieve at all. When I was a kid in school, the powers that be stressed us out so much telling us that we had to be 150 percent at any and everything we did so we would fit in and be accepted by mainstream. But I did that for years and it didn’t work. They didn’t tell us that we would be resented for “being better than everyone else”. That’s actually how some one put it to me. That I was stuck up and trying to be better than everyone else. I was trying to be as good as and fit in…no go. So I give up on that. But for too long I went the opposite way and just didn’t give a d*^n and achieved nothing. Part of it was because I didn’t have any idea what I was supposed to be doing and after high school, they stopped telling me what I was supposed to be doing. So I did nothing. The author says that the key is to find my passion…I’m not sure if I have one or if I ever had one. He says we all do but it gets subverted by trying to please everyone else…parents, teachers, etc. that I believe. So now I have to figure out how to find this passion I’m supposed to have buried in me somewhere. Gonna need to pray on this one cause it’s buried deep. LOL!
Diet Calendar Entries for 19 August 2016:
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1355 kcal
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Fat: 52.89g | Prot: 86.09g | Carb: 157.19g.
Breakfast: Tortilla Triangles, Peaches, Boiled Egg. Lunch: Low Fat Cottage Cheese, Cucumber (with Peel), Crispy Breaded Cod Nuggets. Dinner: Scallions or Spring Onions, shallots, Portabella Mushrooms, cap, large, MicroSteam Baby Broccoli Florets, Garlic Red Skinned Mashed Potatoes, Raw Large Shrimp. Snacks/Other: Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin English Muffins, Velveeta Cheese Slices. more...
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4869 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Bike Machine (Cycling) - 20 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 9 hours. more...
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