Ask for grilled chicken no sauce, n hope that they don’t ask oils 😆 that’s what I do
16 Jun 18 by member: rosio19
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But for reals u can’t let a diet interfere with ur life, but have a portion controlled meal, n get back on track 😉
16 Jun 18 by member: rosio19
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Chinese places often have a steamed veggies section on their menu
16 Jun 18 by member: jimmiepop
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Bless your heart ❤️. I am angry along with you! Sounds like hubby needs to grow a bit of spine where parents are concerned. I put my foot down years ago with my in laws and said that our kids had plans to dote on their father on Father’s Day. Of course their son (my hubby) could go over earlier in the day to see his dad (eat, whatever) but a certain block of time was just for our kids and their dad.
Good for you venting that out and not eating your feelings. That really only makes things worse..holding it all in.
Eat a little before you go, that way if it’s something you CAN eat..have a little. If you can’t eat it...then just don’t lol. Sounds like there’s already a little animosity there so who cares if they don’t like it. 😜. You see about you. Enjoy what time you and the kids have with your hubby tomorrow. Do not let the inlaws get to you. It won’t last forever and you’ll eventually head home (yay).
16 Jun 18 by member: ClarityAnn
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And hubby works for his dad— is that the big issue.? Go to dinner like ClarityAnn said. You choose to stick as closely to your WOE as you can. Do not let them derail you. Portion control—a toothpick and a glass of water. And let them know how delicious it was. A simple NO , THANK YOU TO DESERT. you are in charge of this. If you cave and eat everything in site—- they win. Your show of strength, commitment is your best revenge. AND SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT NO THANK YOU.
16 Jun 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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PS. Don’t sweat the numbers. I don’t know how long you have been doing this but you know what to do— you know the difference between a small serving and a pig out. Who cares whether they get mad because you’re not gorging yourself. That’s hubby's problem not yours.
16 Jun 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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Bwahahaha! I think everyone here is just going to be mad at them with you! I have had this MIL as well and it never ends well for anyone...except for her of course! Do what you have to do, don't make yourself sick by holding back! If they need clarification on your boundaries make sure you give it to them lolol!
16 Jun 18 by member: katies71
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I hear your pain and frustration, and I thank the Good Lord my in-laws were 4 states away. Do not let them drag you down to their level. The day may seem like it will last forever but remember YOU CAN get through it.
16 Jun 18 by member: FlaWhiteWolf
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Bless you for writing rather than stress eating. That takes a lot of courage. You are in charge of your health, no one else. Eat what you feel comfortable with and then move on. A nice tall glass of iced water with a lemon wedge will give you something to sip on through the meal so the fact that you aren’t pounding down a ton of food isn’t so apparent. Also, if a comment is made on quantity etc., just say it’s Dr. orders and leave it at that. Rudeness does not deserve a response. 🙏❤️🤗
16 Jun 18 by member: Chow moore
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I feel for you. Stay strong, maybe you could take some low casserole you can eat and they can too if they want to, If not you will have left overs tomorrow.
16 Jun 18 by member: Jo Kyle
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Great job using the journal to manage emotions rather than emotionally eating!
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Chicken on a stick couldn’t be to bad I wouldn’t imagine. But yeah... steamed veggies are an option. Just avoid anything coated/battered (flour), sauces especially if they taste sweet it’s probably sugar, or if the actual item is deep fried. I know that doesn’t seem to leave much at a Chinese restaurant since a lot of it is deep fried. They have soups but I imagine sodium is high. A lot have seafood and other fish items. I’d ask for them to go light on the glaze or sauce if it consists of that.
16 Jun 18 by member: racerjm05
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As for ordering from a menu this place is buffet only. When we were there the last time there was no nutritional info and the staff can barely speak English. I normally stick to chicken but it’s fried(you add whatever sauce you want to it) or beef and broccoli. Well I used to eat 2-3 pieces of the garlic bread too lol. While not doing Keto I still do my best to keep carbs at 45% or less. Even their fruit has sauces and jellies on it :/. I’m wondering if it would be horrible to eat a plate of grapes and a cup of ice cream (packaged so may have info on the package). I dislike Chinese food out but love my own stir fry and beef and broccoli but again I add soy sauce only so lots of sodium but not calorie loaded.
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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@ clarityann honestly he’s never liked his parents. They paid for siblings college etc and nothing for him. They still pay for stuff for them but expect hubby to work for them for free. Since he’s part of the family business now he doesn’t want to cause problems which I can understand. But it’s gotten so bad my kids refuse to give their phone number to his side of the family and asked us not to invite them to things as they corner the kids now (9&12) and ask them things about us or tell them how it’s unfair we won’t drop everything and do their bidding. They even want to come on our family vacations with us! Asked to go with me to a gynecologist appt once to see if she liked my dr and wanted to be his patient lol. Uh no thanks... I did eat a heavy dinner but instead of an extra cup of rice I doubled up on my veggies and cut the oil in half. Saved me at least 200 calories lol.
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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Thank you all. I usually refuse dessert opting to have a second helping so not eating dessert won’t be an issue at their house. If nothing else she normally has rolls and fresh veggies so I can eat carrots and a roll and explain that I have to lose more weight before my next surgery (fat transfer) because my dr does want me at a healthier weight. He just doesn’t care if it’s now or this winter lol. Wants me to manage stress more than weight for now as he says stress can lead to recurrence more than 20-30 extra pounds.
I will also smile while saying no thanks as that would get under her skin lol.
Hubby being a partner is why he hopes it’ll all die down. However after 17 years of this, 8 of which has been constant and the last 5 horrible with the constant reminders that my parents are gone so I should give up the rest of my family because she decrees it.. well that just doesn’t fly with someone like me who thinks family is everything. And I won’t let this go because she called the school pretending to be me which I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for them to give information about a minor to someone other than a parent or medical personnel in an emergency. If I let her think that is okay then how much farther will she take it? My oldest is either angry or in tears almost every time we see them and that’s not good. I’ve held my tongue for years and avoided them for most of the last 6 months as I don’t trust myself to stay calm and respectful. Elders deserve respect even if they really don’t. Age demands it for me :/. Thanks again guys it’s really helped to get this out and read the comments and know I’m not alone :).
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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Thanks drag! Unfortunately I can’t cut them out completely and I know some of it is my doing so I’m working on myself and my grudge while also trying to be firm about my families boundaries. I’m also an aggressive personality preferring to have a yelling match and get it all or then a week later make up and we each do better. They are passive aggressive who use guilt and have a huge number of friends that we also know. They talk openly with those people and we always come out looking like the bad guys lol. I’ve learned to just say ‘ oh, you might feel differently if you had been there’ or ‘I’m glad you are a good friend but you’ve only heard one side of the story’. If I’m angry I just politely excuse myself lol. Then hide from them!
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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For those curious.. at the buffet I ate cottage cheese, rice with soy sauce (my kiddo helped me eat those two), a thin watermelon slice, one chicken on a stick and beef and broccoli with as much saice scraped off as I could get off. Was starving so portion was a bit more than I’m used to but overall it wasn’t bad. The kids gave me their fortune cookies so that was my dessert; those things are addictive! I’m already hungry again so sucking on some small gobstoppers.
I think I may take a small bowl with veggies and almonds for dinner in case it’s something I can’t have. I can always explain again that my diet doesn’t allow for foods that I can’t weigh and input to the app so I’m trying to set an example for my kids that if they think something may be unhealthy for their WOE then it’s best to being along healthy choices and not set their weight loss back. Hubby says just bring a couple casseroles and to heck with what they said. (Normally she does the meat potatoes and gravy and I do at least one veggie side, sometimes two, and bread and desert -if they don’t have a frozen pie) I’m truly hoping for veggies from a can, a roll and sliced ham. Or maybe roast. Even Pizza I could have one slice :).
Happy father’s day to everyone and I hope you have a wonderful day!
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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Good for you!! You got through as best you could without getting derailed completely. Now just continue on with your WOE. IT IS JUST ONE MEAL —- thousands left to go in your life.. make the best choices you can in difficult situations and just move on.
17 Jun 18 by member: Kenna Morton
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Thanks kenna! Was good at dinner too and I still have some calories left for today but I think I’m over for the week after the pizza buffet for my kiddos celebration. So far I’m breaking even so I am happy as long as it’s not a gain :).
Several commented that I needed to stop as I was small enough. I calmly explained my goal of 110 then gain to 115 as I slowly add calories back in then build muscle to 120-125 over the next several months. When they insisted I looked ‘fine’ and should stop I again smiled and explained my reasoning and how I’d rather be 120-125 with more muscle than 140 carrying this much fat and being tired etc. I don’t think I got through but they got the point to stop handling in my choices ;). I call that a win to so the day wasn’t near as bad as I thought it would be. Watching some eat junk was a bit of a challenge but this is my choice and I knew it wouldn’t always be easy.
17 Jun 18 by member: peeperjj
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I understand your logic. Keep up the good work!
07 Jul 18 by member: Strong200
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