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20 January 2013

Weigh-in: 156.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 21.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet extraspicy's own diet   losing 0.1 lb a week

07 March 2011

Weigh-in: 169.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 34.2 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment on diet extraspicy's own diet   gaining 0.6 lb a week

26 November 2010

Weigh-in: 160.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 25.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet extraspicy's own diet   losing 0.0 lb a week

12 March 2010

I've been eating well this week so far, little starches, mostly clean protein and mostly home cooked so I know exactly what is going in.

However, I have a very adoring boyfriend who loves to please - and he keeps bringing me food gifts every night. My favorite chocolate one night, cajun food the next night - even though I told him I'm on a diet! Last night while I was working on my laptop, he jumped off the bed very excited to make me desert. His whole family is naturally very lean and muscular - he is no exception. Our favorite date ritual is trying out a new ethnic restaurant - and he gains nothing, while I gain it all.

It is very frustrating to diet with a skinny boyfriend! I also feel that his frequent compliments about how much he thinks my body is cute and the extra weight is fine is making me too comfortable with my weight gain. I promise you that if I was single, I would not be this chubby!

It is true that when I was actually a healthy weight - but still thought I was fat - someone should've bopped me over the head and told me that I was fine. I now look at those older pictures and think "How could I think I was fat then?" And then I wonder, what if I keep getting only bigger, and then one day look back at 2010 pictures and think the same? Maybe I should appreciate the waistline I have while I have it? Maybe my double chin will only stay this size for now and explode later?

It is terrifying to doubt your control over the future of your own body. I can't stop the aging process - but I do have a certain amount of control over the fattening process. I just need to stop making excuses for it.

I have a very stressful, but comfortable paying job (well, according to me). I work long hours and I blame the hours for lack of excercise.

But then again, I blame not wanting to straighten or wash curly hair every day for lack of excercise.

And then I blame the discomfort of gyms for lack of excercise.

Time to stop the excuses!

I just ordered Jillian Michael's 30-Day shredder so that I could work my way to P90x (which I have been having for a year now). I really hope to commit to it everyday - especially since I've eliminated the gym and comfort aspect by working out at home.

I need this motivation to last the whole month!

08 March 2010

This is it. I have hit my limit. I NEED TO STOP EATING OUT.
I have always thought that I would weigh in the 160s once I was pregnant or post-baby. I have gained 15 lbs in exactly one year, but I can see that I have lost muscle mass in my thighs - and this means that I have gained way more body fat.

I tend to get serious with eating well for a couple of weeks, and after I can't deal with the anxiety of counting calories or curbing cravings, I go all out and eat out at whatever restaurants I want. You can clearly see that my weight gain and consumption aligns with my increase in salary. It is so sad that increase in income isnt resulting in extra savings for me - only extra food and fat.

Believe it or not, for most of my life, I was so (naturally) underweight that I would impress people by showing them how many ribs stick out. Obviously, I don't want to look like that anymore, but when I think back to my eating habits when I was skinnier - I ate more home cooked food and only ate out once or twice a year (family was very poor).

As I started working and making more money, I rewarded myself with food that my family couldn't purchase before. It was a way of experienceing other cultures, other lifestyles and feeling social. 9 years later, I have made it almost a daily habit.

I have become an emotional eater - I soothe myself by asking "what would taste really good right now?", and order out a large plate of that, sit in front of my DVR, put on my bathrobe and go at it until my tummy hurt. Then go promptly to sleep. Bad habit, but a very soothing one.

I still want to enjoy food, but I want to eat more veggies and things with actual nutrional content - not just processed or fried things.

I hope to journal more and excercise more.
If anyone is reading this, please keep me in check if you see me eating out or eating poorly!.

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