showing entries 6 to 10 of 57
Page:   Prev  1   2   3   4   5   6 ...  Next

26 November 2014

22 November 2014

21 November 2014

3 October was the last time I was here. I feel so strange. It's time to move forward. So I was in the UK for the saddest of reasons. To bury my father. He was not the kind of father I would have wanted. But he was not a bad man and he loved me. Of course, I loved him and was very upset. I am relieved that he will not suffer full on dementia and further disability. But I am sad for my stepmother who is really sad and lonely. He could be a very difficult man to live with but she loved him dearly.I was not with him at the end. Not given all the facts about his condition and my aunt told me not to come in the end as she thought I wouldn't make it in time and that he wouldn't know me. Should I have gone anyway? My stepmother was very angry with me that I didn't come earlier. But I can't just jump in the car and be there. She has since apologised. But there are a few questions in my mind. He fell off a ladder! He could hardly walk. What was he doing up a ladder? It happened on a Monday and I didn't get a call until Thursday. He didn't go to hospital till Wednesday. He must have had so much pain as he had six broken ribs. I did get to talk to him on the phone. He told me he was on the mend but I couldn't understand him much and I didn't speak to him for long. At that time, I thought he was OK. One day he was OK and due to go for an operation. The next day he was on palliative care. He died on Tuesday morning. At the funeral, I found out all the details I wasn't told. I do feel that my stepmother should have called an ambulance immediately. I have questions as to what happened. She told me that she was in bed and didn't hear him calling. I don't think for one minute that anything suspicious happened. I just think she could have called for an ambulance earlier. Perhaps I should have jumped on a plane earlier. A big part of me is also relieved that I didn't see him like that. How weak I have become. I used to be so strong. Anyway. It was his time.

I have hidden away behind doors. Drinking too much and eating crap.Spain is calling. Yesterday I rang about a house to rent which sounds perfect. I may go over to Spain soon to have a look. This place is full of boxes and all the things that I had left in the villa. I have to sort it all out and get rid of a lot. I have so much to do that it overwhelms me. But I should be very grateful that I have such a good life. I often wondered how I would feel when my father died. Now I don't really know.

03 October 2014

Well, for two weeks now, I have been a very naughty girl. Stress eating and drinking followed by celebrating with pizza and beer. Very naughty indeed. I was very stressed. Trying to sell my house and feeling like everyone hated it or if they did like it, they didn't want to pay my price. Then, deep joy! One guy walked in and bought it right there and then. Celebration time! Meals out with wine and all that. Resulting in tight clothes and pot belly. So here I am back on FS. Truly remorseful. I'm not going near the scales 'till I feel near to what I was. Naughty person.

Most meals tasted so terribly salty. And I had lots of cravings for everything. So it's back to Atkins because I just don't have cravings and I never feel hungry. Six months to get fit and healthy before the great relocation to Spain. A new life beckons. I am so excited

17 September 2014

Other Related Links

Members



Buffy101's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.