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This explains my rough evening yesterday. I felt so empty and my stomach felt a bit nauseous, so I drank water and that went away. Then I was plagued with thoughts of kettle chips with sour cream. It went so far that I decided I was going to buy some on November 5 (I know it sounds insane) and sit and eat them with abandon while hubby is on the plane. I took it further and decided to also buy carrot cake. I was so determined and didn't care about FS or weight loss or fasting or any of it. I just wanted to binge and felt so happy with my sneaky plan - drop him at the airport and make a beeline for the grocery store. Another part of me felt sad and I told hubby I wanted chips. He said, "No you don't. They are poison. You don't want to poison your body. I see you getting smaller all over. Your arms are smaller, your butt is smaller, your stomach is smaller, even your face is smaller. You are getting smaller everywhere." He has such beautiful eyes. I'm doing this so I don't die on him. Anyway, that killed the binge obsession. Then, waking up to a 2 lb loss, it made sense. My body was pulling out all the stops to hang onto fat 😳 Just wow.
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259.6 lb
Lost so far: 60.2 lb.
Still to go: 134.6 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 27 October 2023:
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7 kcal
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Fat: 0.14g | Prot: 0.85g | Carb: 0.28g.
Breakfast: Coffee. more...
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losing 15.4 lb a week
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1 to 20 of 50
 Comments
Good job. You managed to pull out of that total mess. You learned a very valuable lesson. When you start to falter it's best to confess and find some support rather than depend on your own motivation. I allow myself some foods I would not consider healthy because when I am confined to only eating healthy foods I rebel and stop eating thus making things worse. I get to the point where I have eaten so much baked chicken that I can puke just thinking about it. When I was thin I didn't force myself to eat foods I didn't like because they were healthy for me. I just didn't eat a lot. I ate carrot cake - my favorite cake - but did not have access to an entire cake that I could eat a piece of every day. I can't bring home a carrot cake. I could handle having a piece of it on my birthday. I like chips and have some occasionally but not a whole bag - just a portioned out serving. I can't eat out of bags. My body can't handle 2500 calorie, 200 carb days.
27 Oct 23 by member: -MorticiaAddams
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what a sweet story I'm glad that you shared with your husband and got the support you needed.
27 Oct 23 by member: Leah_guffey
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That's great that your husband knew how to talk you out of your binge plan. I do find that planning a,binge in the future is better for me than making an unexpected impulse buy, usually chips. The binge plan can fall apart as I get closer to it when I really stop and think about it.
27 Oct 23 by member: Fritzy 22
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It is so wonderful that your husband is so supportive, It sounds like he really loves you and wants you to stick around. Be thankful and happy!
Hap.
27 Oct 23 by member: pbelschner
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Yay You! I love the honesty, the struggle is real but you pivoted away from that moment in time. Way to go 😃
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I’m a portion control moderation person and can’t comprehend that word binge but I recognize that for some it must be real and uncontrollable. I’m sorry that so many here suffer from that.
27 Oct 23 by member: Kenna Morton
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Awesome support, and your determination and openness to share and accept. A nice win on many levels👍🏽
27 Oct 23 by member: FoodyDuty
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now that drop i bet kicked those cravings to the curb! holy cow I've been there too! I'm so glad your hubby supports you! i do think i dream of food when I'm about to crack , if i push through it. I also get a drop. crazy!
27 Oct 23 by member: jenjabba
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@Kenna I’ve come to understand that binging/overeating would fall along the same lines of a smoker, or drug or alcohol abuser. The smoker has seen and knows what damaging effects it can have on the body. Same with alcohol & drug abuse. Yet the compulsion or addiction to “get a fix” is strong. Apply trigger foods, usually unhealthy to begin with, and eaten in copious amounts, we know this is bad for good health! It’s given me a greater understanding that the struggle is real. Hope you’re OK with me sharing this on your post LadyD. If not, let me know and I will delete.
27 Oct 23 by member: FoodyDuty
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@FoodyDuty, you took the words out of my mouth 🙂 @Kenna, as a nurse, you don't need to have personal experience with a thing to grasp the pathophysiology of it. Homeostatis is disrupted by compulsive eating and binge eating among multiple spectrums: mental health, behavior and addiction, and metabolic health. For mental health, populations with dopamine and serotonin disruptions are susceptible. FoodyDuty parallels cigarette smoking and drug/alcohol addictions with binge eating and certainly overeating does alter ones mood. Addiction and eating disorders fall under the mental health umbrella, but I think of them as a different animal, and distinct from the schizoid and affective disorders.
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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I have been dying for carrot cake...I am no help lol.
27 Oct 23 by member: rcguenth
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@Morticia, carrot cake is my favorite, too, and I had a piece for my birthday this year 🙂 When you brought up 2500 calories and 200 carbs, I looked up the nutrition info for the chips and sour cream: about 1900 calories and 190 carbs. And frankly, that would cause me to get extremely tired where I'd need a 2 hour nap 30 minutes after finishing, then wake up in a fog (not to mention the self recrimination). Overall, not worth it as you say. A measured amount of an "unhealthy" food that doesn't cause a domino effect of cravings helps me stay in my calorie goals, like it does for you 🙂 My addict self can't tolerate a one oz serving of chips. It wants the whole bag.
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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@pbelschner and Leah, I am grateful every day for my beautiful, supportive husband. He supported me all the way up to 319 lb, too, bringing me DQ, chocolate, chips, and fast food whenever I asked. He just wants me happy. Now, he's learned not to buy those things and supports my weight loss efforts 🙂
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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I've been where you were a few times. I'm glad your husband talked you down! He is a keeper! My husband is supportive no matter which way I go but he too has learned what not to buy me by now. Sometimes he comes home with stuff for me that isn't so good but it's "diet". ( highly processed) I smile and say thank you cuz I know he's trying. Sounds like your hubby is the same. You got this!!!👍👍💜💜💜
27 Oct 23 by member: Diana 1234
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@Fritzy, true! Planning a binge gives us time to get help and unplan it 😅 Impulsive food buys are in my past. I took YOH's advice and log the thing in FS before I buy it or eat it - Cheetos, Twizzlers, Snickers. I end up thinking that the thing is a poor substitute for a sandwich or other lunch item, so I skip it. Usually, we are in those impulse buy situations around lunch or dinner time. Why do I want 215 calorie Snickers, 250 calorie Twizzlers, and/or 160 calorie Cheetos when I can have 2 bratwurst with mustard and saurkraut when I get home?
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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@fluffy, thank you ❤ Honesty, openmindedness and willingness are things I learned in recovery 😉
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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@jen, I know you are a faster, too 🙂 I looked back in my journals today and learned I always, always, always obsess about food on Day 4. I think my body has gotten used to 3 day fasts and gets mad when I toss a 4th day at her 🤣
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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@Diana, yes!!! The most loving thing we can do is get healthier and spare them the grief of losing us to obesity related maladies. I know what you mean about their good intentions - even their missteps come from a place of love 💜
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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@rcguenth, let's talk about carrot cake 😁 It's beautiful because the crumb is a little spicy, the frosting is a little tart, and when baked well, it's moist and satisfying. Overbaked carrot cake tastes bitter. It is easily wrecked by frosting that is overly sweet. There are tons of carrot cake entries in FS ranging from 325 to 600 calories per serving. When that happens, I pick one from the middle - 400 calories. That is hefty, but doable when you either skip breakfast or have a light lunch. The question is, will you allow yourself to enjoy one beautiful piece of carrot cake for dessert, or will it drive you off plan? Does it live in your future somewhere?
27 Oct 23 by member: LadyinDenim
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That's awesome, love wins, great outcome! I think i could make a pancake with the right spices and some whipped light cream cheese to kill a craving like that, or have a small bit, but I've realized that my bff can't, my husband can't either. So you do you, and you did EXCELLENT. I'll bet those 2lbs felt better than any salty or sweet treat! :-)
27 Oct 23 by member: BadJujugurl
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