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Early Saturday morning ... woke up with a headache. Still not feeling 100% but I am hopeful coffee will help kick me into gear!!
It was raining outside last night when we went to bed. Not good. It's that whole rain on snow covered roads thing. Doesn't apply to the highways ... they are clear ... but we live off the paved road so there is snow pack on our dirt roads. I stepped out of the front door to take Blue to do his business this morning and it was really slick!! I was able to remain upright!! YAY!!!
I only did my elliptical yesterday. I needed to get to work. So I am hoping to do a little of everything today. Pilates, kettle bells, and elliptical. Depending on what the weather does we MIGHT go out tonight to go dancing with friends. I'm not holding my breath because forecast is calling for a rain/snow mix. Not much fun to drive in late at night, early in the morning. If the weather is crappy it will probably just be netflix here at home!!
I must tidy up a bit around here!! Mom is coming home a week from today!! She's been feeling under the weather this past week so I hope she begins to feel better soon. Traveling when you feel ill is no fun at all. My dining room table has been overtaken with paperwork. Mail that needs to be sorted, magazines tossed, things filed away!! I try to stay organized and I just don't seem to be able to pull it off. LOL!!! Instead I opt for exercise in the am and in the pm I veg out upstairs with my hubby or I am on here catching up on your journals!!! Bad Moose!!! Bad, Bad Moose!!! LOL!!!
A little dip on the scale today. Nice. I really don't think I am getting anywhere close to my "range" (180-185) by March 10th, when we leave for Mexico. Oh well. The more important thing is to stay with the process ... and as long as I have clothes that fit who cares? I quickly tried on one pair of shorts last night ... think I'll try on some more today. The ones I had one were fine. I know I have a couple of stretchy skorts, sort of like for exercising people that are really cute and I know they will fit. They are fun to dress up with a cute blouse for the evening. They look like a mini-skirt not a skort. Anyway ... I know I have clothing I can wear. So what does it matter what "NUMBER" I am when we go?
I am the one hung up on the number. I am the one who lets the number define my mood, at times. I am the one who lets the number determine my self-worth, at times. I've not been as hung up on the number lately. Feels much better to not obsess about it. Instead I've been feeling the strength in my body as I exercise, paying attention to walking tall, and noticing ... occasionally someone is looking at me and it isn't in disgust!!! LOL!!!
Today I am grateful for ...
1. waking up without an alarm clock this morning ... ah Saturday
2. getting a glimpse again of what it feels like to feel okay with my body
3. having something entertaining to watch on the TV in the evenings ... thank you Netflix!!!
4. countdown to warmth and sunshine!!!
5. hearing the delight, joy, wonder, excitement, and anxiety in my buddie's voice (so to speak) about her upcoming adventure!!
Kindness. Kindness. Kindness. Kindness. Kindness to ourselves does not mean we dig into that half-gallon container of ice-cream, grab a package of oreos and go for it!! It doesn't mean we buy a bag of pistachios and eat the whole thing in one sitting. It does mean that when we find ourselves engaged in old unhealthy eating patterns, when we make a conscious decision to splurge, when we notice the jiggles, stretch marks, and find ourselves being critical of how "imperfect" our bodies are ... we forgive ourselves for being human, fallible, imperfect ... and we embrace the wholeness of our entire being!!!
No one is perfect. Even those gorgeous celebrities we see on the big screen and on magazine covers ... they are no more perfect than us. They struggle the same as us. Even if we had unlimited funds in our bank accounts ... we would still struggle at times with feeling badly about ourselves. Okay, so we wouldn't worry about paying the bills. I know. But I know there would still be times you or I would look in the mirror and say to ourselves "yuck", "gross", "fill in what ever negative thing you might say inside these quotation marks."
Being "in the moment" does not come naturally to me. I am a planner, a schemer, a dreamer!!! I worry about yesterday AND tomorrow!! Which robs me ... of NOW. Being able to capture a little of that "joy in the moment", "joy in the journey", the now ... whatever you want to name it, has really been nice recently.
And ... I have each of you to thank for being able to find this again. Your steadfastness, your listening ears, your encouragement, your presence when I was feeling so low, so stressed, and everything seemed so dark really made a difference. This community makes a difference. Participating in this community makes the difference. Me ... putting my thoughts and feelings into words and letting myself be visible, vulnerable ... that is what has made the difference for me. So lovely to not be alone and begin to KNOW I am not much weirder than the next person who has struggled with their weight!!! LOL!!!
So thank you weird buddies!!! LOL!!! I love your weirdness, embrace it with much enthusiasm!!!! Have a great weekend ... be good to yourselves!!!
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192.6 lb
Lost so far: 66.6 lb.
Still to go: 7.6 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 12 February 2011:
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1588 kcal
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Fat: 57.80g | Prot: 134.67g | Carb: 126.70g.
Breakfast: Weight Watchers Mexican Cheese, large egg, water. Lunch: Sweet and Spicy Tuna, Low Fat Mayonnaise, La Tortilla Factory Tortilla. Dinner: Lean Cuisine Thai Style Noodles with Chicken. Snacks/Other: Monterey Jack Cheese, Turkey Breast Meat, bacon, wheat bread, Genuine Draft 64, Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds, Planters Nutrition Energy Bar, roasted chicken breast. more...
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2999 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Precor Elliptical - 50 minutes, Conditioning exercise (health club) - 30 minutes, Pilates - 30 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 1.9 lb a week
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