TheKarenS's Journal, 09 February 2011

:-(
I feel totally powerless over food. I have been out of control and destructive. My co-worker was correct in his assessment of my relationships when he said i sabotage myself. What he likely didnt realize was that it's in every area of my life, not just romantic relationships.
This week i have sabotaged my diet on 3 occassions. Matthew's b-day, Super Bowl party at church, and Chinese buffet.
I have sabotaged my relationship with Denny in a surprising way by being what appeared as closer, but knowing it would actually drive a wedge between us.
I have sabotaged my time off with my son by squandering it in town, on housework, sleeping excessively, and with meaningless time (napping) with my boyfriend.
I really dislike myself for all these things. It occurrs to me as i write those words that perhaps that is why i do them - because i dislike myself.
I need help. And not just in dieting.
166.0 lb Lost so far: 11.0 lb.    Still to go: 26.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 09 February 2011:
1961 kcal Fat: 102.58g | Prot: 82.17g | Carb: 184.36g.   Breakfast: Fried Ham, Egg Omelet or Scrambled Egg, Cheddar Cheese, Butter, Orange Juice, 100% Whole Wheat Bread. Lunch: Texas Cheese Toast with Garlic, Old World Style Flavored with Meat Pasta Sauce, White Sweet Corn (Kernels On Cob, Without Salt, Frozen, Drained, Cooked, Boiled), Ground Beef, Catalina Dressing, Butter, Cheddar Cheese, Spaghetti. Dinner: Avocados, Green Snap Beans (Drained Solids, Canned), Ketchup, Southern Style Chicken Breast Tenderloins. Snacks/Other: Tortilla Chips (White Corn). more...
2098 kcal Activities & Exercise: Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 27 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 26 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 7 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet Calorie Count   gaining 2.1 lb a week

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Comments 
Dont give up! YOU CAN do it 
09 Feb 11 by member: Janto
I thought I was powerless over food, too. You're not. You just don't know how to harness that side of yourself. You CAN do it - it's about doing it right. Don't try to go off the food you love cold turkey. Try replacing most of it with healthier options - there is a healthier option to everything. And at a birthday party and events, have the smallest piece of cake that you can politely ask for, and split it with someone. It's easier than starving and depriving yourself. Good luck :)  
14 Feb 11 by member: margd1
Thanks, y'all! 
25 Feb 11 by member: TheKarenS

     
 

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