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15 December 2015

My hope was to be under 160 by today, so I'm pleased. For those of you that may be following me recently, you'll kniw that I'm going through a difficult breakup, and that I decided it was too overwhelming to count calories and carbs. Instead, I'm trying to listen to my body and make conscious decisions about what and how much I eat. I haven't been perfect, but I'm not being hard on myself, either. For instance, one night I counted out 5 crackers. Are crackers ideal? No. But I made a concious decision, and it was good. The next night I ate with a friend and i set the package in front of me. I prob ate 10 or 15. Not so good, but I know what I did and how to prevent that in the future. Yesterday I went to breakfast with a friend and ordered a (giant) omelet. I could've eaten the whole thing, but I cut it into thirds, ate one section, and brought the rest home. One thing that has helped tremendously is that I've been listening to a sermon series by Joyce Meyer on the battlefield of the mind. I highly recommend it. Here's to good eating this week. :)
Weigh-in: 159.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 24.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Atkins   losing 2.8 lb a week

09 December 2015

I've had an emotional weekend as I'm letting go of a relationship that I thought had a great future. Sadly, I can't keep someone from sabataging the happiness of both of us. Now I have to focus on taking care of myself and moving forward.

I've decided to approach this weight loss a bit differently. Previously I tracked everything I put in my mouth. But I tend to look for a distraction in times of stress, then when the stress is gone I no longer need a distraction. I don't want to create a distraction of calorie counting, only to drop it. I'm also a bit emotionally fragile at the moment, and I don't need the burden of failure when I eat a meal that is difficult to track. So I'm going to practice listening to myself and my body. When I reached my goal previously, I was able to maintain my weight within 5 lbs for quite sometime without calorie counting or weighing daily. I started this weekend, and I'm down 4.5 lbs. I do know that is mostly water, but I retain a lot of fluid when I make bad food choices, so even losing water weight is a victory.

My plan is to make good food choices, eat a little less of it, and only weigh once a week. I'm also walking several times a week as an antidepressant. Here's hoping for better physical and emotional health.
Weigh-in: 161.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 26.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (17 comments) on diet Atkins   losing 3.4 lb a week

30 November 2015

For the record, I don't believe I really weigh 166.2 cuz I have a lot of edema. But I wanted to "weigh-in" (pun intended), on an epiphany I had last night.

I had a difficult evening conversation with my boyfriend last night. He was being very emotionally withdrawn and distant, more so than he usually is. I told him that I loved and missed him, and he basically grunted. I told him that I know he misses me, but it would be nice to hear it on occasion. He said it wouldn't do any good. When I hung up, I cried.

As I sat there, I reflected on the fact that I love this man and I have put so much energy into this relationship, but I'm emotionally starvingto death. I can't do all the work, all the reassuring, and all the loving. I've got to have some feedback. And then I wanted to eat. That's when it hit me. I'm starving emotionally, and trying fill the hollow spot with satisfying food. It would be bad enough alone, but I already have food issues, and this just makes them worse. I've gained 10 + pounds in the 5 months we've been together. To make it worse, I only weigh 10 lbs less than him, and he's told me that he won't be with a woman bigger than he is.

This just isn't working, and it breaks my heart.
Weigh-in: 166.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 31.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (13 comments) on diet Atkins   gaining 1.3 lb a week

17 November 2015

Weigh-in: 163.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 28.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Atkins   gaining 0.4 lb a week

14 April 2015

Back to life, back to reality. Can't you hear the music? Soul II Soul - Back To Life:

Ok, so here's the importance of journaling. . .

I did pretty well all weekend on being low carb. Actually, I did very well. But for some reason my urine didn't show ketones. I knew it was a little early, but it was discouraging. It may have been the quantity I was eating. For some reason I was eating absurd amounts. I think it was emotional/tired eating. Then when I got home Monday, my son had Triscuits. I tried the new flavor. Big Mistake! I should have never eaten even one. I prob ate half a box, then some wheat thins, too. Cuz why not? I was already doomed (that's "stinking thinking!"). So this morning I refused to weigh, even tho its Tuesday. I felt bloated, and like a failure. I wandered around the house a bit, had water, and a slice of low carb pizza, then decided to weigh. (why? I have no idea!) I was down a little over a pound. See how my feelings didn't line up with reality? That's why I need accountability and journaling.

I'm still not recoding what I eat today, but it will be strict low carb. Tomorrow I will go back to record-keeping and tracking.

And btw, check out this website for awesome pizza recipes. I used number 3, but cooked it like number 6. ;)
Weigh-in: 150.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 15.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet Atkins   losing 2.5 lb a week

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