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Day 158- Not sure why, but feeling down. Funny how many haters come out when you better yourself. I find as I get older I share less and less of my personal feelings and only want to be happy. I have never been one to have a ton of friends, but the friends I have/had I charish greatly but feel they don't in return. I have a brother and sister that I rarely talk to anymore due to the fact that they are so negative all the time. One of the main reasons I love to travel for work is the fact that I am on my own and there are not folks their to suck me down when they are in a bad mood. Sure, working in consulting and sales field I get rejected a lot by customers but I can deal with that. A negative person just sucks the life out of you and for some reason, sometimes makes me feel guilty, I have no reason why? As you can tell I can't sleep tonight and I am now rambling on here.
I do have a birthday coming up and i will be away at a major tradeshow with my whole company there. I have already decided I think I am going to skip dinner that night to avoid the uncomfortableness and unwanted hype. I am not looking for pity, I just don't think it is a big deal and want to move on.
Also for some reason tonight I am having a big debate in my head to delete my Facebook account. I get really pissed at myself for stuff I post. It is nothing bad, but I feel like I am putting to much out there. Or bugging folks with my crap.
Sorry for the rant/random ramble, I just needed to get it out even if it does not make sense.
Like I said early on in this journey, there is more to this journey than losing weight and getting buff. I have some major social issues I let get in my way and run my life sometimes.
Diet Calendar Entry for 26 June 2012:
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595 kcal
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Fat: 34.34g | Prot: 45.67g | Carb: 27.42g.
Breakfast: Coffee with Cream, Hard-Boiled Egg. Lunch: Sunflower Seeds, Chargrilled Chicken Garden Salad, Light Italian Dressing. more...
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 Comments
We all have random, seemingly unexplainable down moments. I'm like that every day, I swear I'm bipolar ;) In one day I go from 100% motivated to 100% sabotage then back again. I think its good for you to ramble about it here! Then you can look back and try to pinpoint any "triggers" for the down moments. You're right - there is a lot more to losing weight than just the losing weight. A lot of us got where we were because of underlying issues that we liked to try to overcome with food. I hope you're feeling better today!
26 Jun 12 by member: Bkeller1023
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It seems to be in the air. I and a couple of my friends seem to be going through the same thing. Right now it is about cleaning out the ol fb and getting rid of the riff raff. I had a big falling out with someone I called a friend and now I am less one and maybe two :). There were reconnections that havent worked out and for a minute I felt guity about it. Like you I dont have many I consider really good friends. I found myself being disposal to some. This is not good. We are at an age now when happiness and true friendships are important. There isnt time left to put up with crap and bog ourselves down. I am dropping people like flies right now sad as it sounds but if they dont have anything positive to offer than I deserve better. And so do you. If you want to meet people who have the same mind and go out to enjoy themselves might I suggest finding some meetup.com groups. I just found them and its really nice. There is a group for everything! Okay Ive gone on long enough. This is your life and only you can make it the best you can. If someone cant stand it then you dont need them.
26 Jun 12 by member: petuniak
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I agree with Diane. Ramble here. That's what I do. I get down all the time. I know I have underlying issues with food, and interpersonal relationships. I'm one messed up chick! You're not alone in that. And I totally get what you mean about wanting to 'not bug people' with your crap. I know I can be a drag to my friends. Nobody wants to be around someone who pulls them down more than pulls them up. It's easy to retreat within yourself. Just be sure you don't stay there.
26 Jun 12 by member: JessWhatINeeded
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The more awesome you get, the more haters you attract. I too get caught up in the web of negative people. FB is full of haters. This is indeed a journey... Stay positive and you will eventually surround yourself with positive, peaceful people with the same goals. :)
26 Jun 12 by member: Lindsay6384
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Sorry you are having these problems - but it is great that you feel free to share them here. It definitely matters! If weight loss were only about food we'd all be skinny.
26 Jun 12 by member: BuffyBear
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I am happy to see others see what I am saying. I can't really put my finger on it but it is just there....... I tend to just move on when I come accross a negative person. The whole FB thing is about sharing to much or that I like to say where I am and what I am doing. It is amazing how many folks drop you because you 'check-in' once a day, LOL
26 Jun 12 by member: Soulnoid
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You have to do what is right for you, just so long as you don't shut yourself out from any support you may have, whether it be on FB, FS, whatever. Maybe you could tweet your 'mental junk' under an anonymous name. It helps to get it out. Things change, people change, yada, yada...and you can set up groups so only people that you KNOW don't mind (isn't that supposed to be what a friend is?) will see these posts. I have a friend that took a 3 month hiatus from FB. You can always do that too. And with the new 'fancy fan-dangled' settings on FB, you can change you post so only you can see them as well. You may have to sit down and do some housekeeping to accomplish this, but do what you need to do to continue down a path that is positive. Don't regret having feelings or sharing them. I have a feeling that's how a bunch of us got to this point in the first place. ;-) Take care.
26 Jun 12 by member: ppphhhttt
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I understand about Facebook. It's just built that way, I think. I hope you feel better soon.
27 Jun 12 by member: Helewis
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