8hunter6's Journal, 28 January 2016

This might sound pedantic, but, I look at stress as a problem. Most problems are a gift. They remind me of who I am, in relation, to an all Holy and all loving God. And, lucky for me, I have a wife. 

Stress is a weight loss killer.... Stress releases cortisol, your fight or flight hormone. If you are stressed, you are not burning fat, you are storing more fat. You either need to exercise or lift weights to relieve it, that is the quickest way to shut it down. 

If the stress is caused by an event then doing cognitive behavioral therapy works wonders. It is used in PTSD treatments. If it is related to day to day pressures then change the situation.  

I second physical activity and some mental gymnastics aka CBT. A combo of those two usually takes care of that little tension in my neck from stress. 

slimjim. I'm starting to think I have an anxiety issue that can basically paralyze me momentarily. yes it is a problem and I need a solution. I'm not religious. mahjohn... ok ... maybe some of that will help... I'll go upstairs and life some weights for a bit. I have 3 boys, a husband and two dogs and when they all go crazy at once I can't breathe. if I try to leave it makes everyone worse and almost angry with me. cbt ... ok I'll have to look into this. thank you  

That's not stress, that sounds like Panic attacks (ex girlfriend this), medication was the solution, it shouldn't be seen as a weakness, or a last resort. Go to see a mental health professional and see what's going on. 

ok... 40 crunches, 20 reverse crunches, weights, squats, plank.... feeling better... going to have holy basil and another tea. .. side note.... why aren't common exercises in the search so I can log all of it?? so weird... another note. slimjim... I appreciate what you were trying to do there. I do honestly. I was raised Roman catholic. and through all the years in catholic school and listening to the world news, I lost faith in the practice of religion. I believe there is a higher power as the universe just works too perfectly to have happened by accident. but i personally don't believe in a god that micromanages. I hope I didn't offend you or anyone with my short answers... I just really was struggling to catch my breath calmly so I didn't scare the baby while trying to find a way to manage it. thanks again for all your quick responses. it is appreciated.  

to be completely honest mahjohn.... I took a half tab of my dogs Valium out of desperation ... i try to steer clear of pills.. name brand people grade... that and the exercise has me feeling close to normal. some holy basil and tea and I should be alright. no dr every believes I have anxiety or stress issues... they think I have depression. I'm not depressed. I'm usually pretty happy actually. it's just when things are too loud.. or too bright and moving... I just... I just cant. I hate big cities for that reason too... sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom with the fan on and just sit there so I can calm down. it's the only time anyone leaves me alone. that's my only me time... sitting in a damn bathroom  

A Dr. Cannot diagnose a mental health condition, which is why you should see a mental health professional. Mental health issues run in my family, when I was in school working on my Masters I was on Wellbutrin, it was great.... Me personally I felt nothing other than less stressed.... People around me noticed a huge difference, which is what you want. When school was done I stopped and haven't needed it since. 

I run. It works very well. I breathe deeply. That helps too. AND I journal. I think that helps me most. It helps me capture what is happening, how I'm feeling, and I explore what I can do about it. In the moment, when I'm stressed, I freeze up. But when I put the stress to paper, it somehow makes it smaller and more manageable. It's like the paper is a sort of net that captures the stress monster and allows me to isolate it, pick it apart, and conquer it. IDK, not for everyone, but it helps me. There's my 2 cents. 

do I have to see someone first to be referred? I'm still not clear how things work in the u.s. 

unfortunately I can't run. I have to many spine issues and doctors tell me not to just or walk long distances. but i can bike.. perhaps I'll take the baby for a bike ride tomorrow if it stops raining. I was doing deep breathing but then I started to hyperventilate. Journaling gets me in trouble when people look at my crazy venting. like i just write random things that float in my head so they are on paper and no longer in my head.. but then people find these things and take my craziness personally. so I refrain from doing that anymore...even if it was really therapeutic for me. I don't want to hurt anyone. even if they shouldn't be snooping through my stuff... same goes for painting. .. I throw my feelings on a canvas and then people get all hurt by it. like I'm trying to take it OUT of my head ... once it's out I don't have to feel it anymore... but then apparently others do . so I hold it all. ... I hold everything.... that's been a reason why I ate... so if I can't be creative .... wich hurts because that was always a big part of my life... then I suppose I'll be physical.... that did help me tonight. I'll have to do it more often. ..... it will help me reach my weight loss goal anyway.... and the baby is getting older and easier so maybe some day I can paint again. it's too hard to fit painting, chores, some sort of work out, cooking and all that into the time I have while he's napping.  

Have you had this discussion with your husband?  

You are definitely in a tough spot. The good news is, time doesn't stop and this season of your life will fade into a different, new season. My wife and I went through a similar time, where we always felt overwhelmed, stressed, and just plain empty. Kids, schedules, bills, jobs, parents, dogs... it all adds up to a million obligations and no time to be human. One thing that has really helped us is we made a pact with each other that we each get 1 night out per week. She gets Tuesday night (I get the kids and the chores that night) and I get Thursday night. I go out with friends, sometimes I just go drive and listen to music and think, sometimes I go to a coffee shop, sometimes I take my kids out on dates, and sometimes I just hang with the family because that's what I actually want to do. Everyone needs a break, to be human, to be yourself. BTW, there's this thing called paintnite - it's painting at a bar or restaurant with friends. A little pricey, but you can use groupon to get the cost down. I bought tickets and I've heard it's a lot of fun.  

He knows I get stressed. he knows I like to paint. he encourages painting but I'm not given time to do it. when I paint my dark feelings it hurts his. I don't want to hurt him. I just throw in music, close my eyes and sway till colours come to mind and then i dont even pay attention to what I'm doing until I'm done and I feel better. I've heard of paint night I bought a coupons for another woman and I but she bailed on me and then i didn't have time to go. but it really looks like fun. I think my main issue is I don't have time for myself. and I believe I have panic attacks and nothing medically to manage them but my dogs anxiety meds lol... luckily they are name brand and for people .. but still. shouldn't be like that. and what if he needs them and I took them all ... then I'll have a dog seizure on my hands. poor gizmo... it's not like my family is purposely trying to take my time or stop me from doing things... but when I say I need to go to the store my husband gets all huffy about it cause then he has to watch all the kids let alone me sayin "hey I'm gping to go to thw garage for a few hours, dont talk to me, or come outside and make all the kids do othwr stuff... also make dinner" lol.. when I ask the older kids for alone time they always end up fighting or some crap... and the baby... is a baby. mom's don't get to be people until all their people are old enough to do other things. so I think weights might be my answer for the time being. and that is a good outlet so I shouldn't complain. it's quick, no set up, no clean up, I can do it with the baby around and it's always available. now the real trick is remembering to do so when I'm in the middle of a stressful situation. that will take some getting used to.  

My 28 year old daughter suffers from anxiety attacks and all the suggestions I've read are right on target. It depends on what kind of insurance you have on whether or not you need a referral to see a mental health person. There is no shame in this condition so don't feel bad about it or taking medication for it. My daughter uses all of the above suggestions to deal with hers and she has a wonderful life because of the different treatments. It's OK if you don't believe but since I do I'll keep you in my prayers and since I know it will help you might notice that and change your mind. If not...no offense ever taken. Besto of luck in overcoming this challenge! 

Dear buddy I have been following your post and my heart goes out to you....unfortunately i do not have any advice for you.....i wish i did but it would only clutter up your mind.....which you don't need right now. Sounds like you could use a time out. some times we have to turn to some one stronger the us....My prayers are with you though. 

I'll have to call my insurance I suppose... I just really don't need any more medical bills .. got a big enough collection of those lol. having a positive reaction from the Valium so having a PRN sedative on hand would probably be benificial to my whole household lol just because I believe different doesn't mean I don't appreciate the prayers anyway. thank you :D any positive thoughts are always good.  

call me crazy, but this looks a lot like journalling. LOL! Clearly, you have a lot of support here on FS. Lots of ideas. Do what works for you, my friend. And don't be shy about making a little time for yourself a priority. Schedule it, or life will fill your schedule for you. 

fred4win. thank you for you kind thoughts and words. I think I have a plan formulating to correct my situation. exercise and speaking to a doctor about anxiety issues... it doesn't happen all the time but I don't need it happening at all.