jaime30024's Journal, 18 September 2014

Funny how things can change so fast. My post on Monday was about way too much fun and now my post today is so dark and gloomy.

Tuesday afternoon started a deep dive into stress for me. Work wise was already stressful and now add the stress of personal life. AND to top it all of TOM is here...perfect combination for a train wreck?? I am determined not to let it get to me. Tuesday night I made myself a blended iced coffee with some unsweetened cocoa. Yesterday I ate low carb soup until I was so stuffed I would not have been able to put a bite of anything in my mouth. I rode with DH to the store to and refrained from getting an ice cream from the ice box a snickers ice cream to be exact. I did not get any exercise in yesterday because I went to the bedroom (after work) and shut the door and just lay there (did cry some) and then lay there more. It has been draining this week and my eyes are swollen. This could effect my husbands job and if it does then there is not another job here so we would have to move which would be more added expense. So I lay in bed cry and pray. The next week or so will be like walking on egg shells waiting to see what will happen. So whatever your belief I would appreciate prayers or positive thoughts. It is all I can do not to go off on an emotional binge...since I am an emotional binge eater. I keep telling myself that if I cannot control anything else then at least I can control my eating. I keep telling myself that....if I tell myself that enough then maybe I will really start to believe it.

So starts another day and I am exhausted already. Heck I did not even realize it was Thursday already. I just made a post in a group and wrote it like today is Wednesday. Don't get me wrong. I am glad that today is Thursday; I don't think I could take much more of this week. I know....God is not going to give me more than I can handle. However, I do think he thinks I am stronger than I am sometimes...lol...just joking God I don't question you.

Anyway, my brain feels fried and my eyes just want to close and I need to get back to work. I just hope that I don't start crying again because I had to ignore some calls yesterday while I was working because I was crying at the same time. Thank God I work from home for that.

Thanks for listening to my pity party.

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1125 kcal

Fat: 95.62g | Prot: 64.84g | Carb: 21.00g.   Breakfast: McCormick Orange Extract, Green Mountain Coffee French Vanilla Iced Coffee K-Cup, LouAna Pure Coconut Oil, Torani Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup. Lunch: Kerrygold Pure Irish Butter, Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce, Litehouse Foods Garlic Blue Cheese Dressing, Chicken Wing (Skin Eaten). Dinner: P.F. Chang's Shanghai Shrimp with Garlic Sauce. more...