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27 August 2014


I feel like I am running on low fuel this week. I know it is the time adjustment possibly but since I work on EST it shouldn't be that big of a deal. I think it is just tired. I was tired Sunday and we went to bed very early. Monday was good, but my husband had planned a function to take his office to a baseball game and so we did not get home and into the bed until around 10:30. I got my exercise in Monday also before going. Yesterday, I just felt exhausted and did not get my exercise in but took an afternoon nap after work. Also, work has been mentally draining this week with production issues and I have been taking a lot of heat for it (even though it has nothing to do with me) everyone crying to me at the different branches and no one wants to transfer their material to share with other branches...it is like Mass Hysteria. Shaking my head. So last night we did not have our normal 'date night' out and instead stayed home. I was really too tired to eat. DH ordered in Chinese which if I say I don't care or I'm not hungry that is what he does. It kind of irritates me but I think to myself 'whatever'. I had two chicken meatballs and then some pork skins with sour cream. Mostly I had it because it was 7pm and I don't like eating after 7 so I ate something so I wouldn't be hungry later. Then this morning I weighed myself (not recording it because of the challenge I created) and it was like the 'whoosh' effect. I have dropped 2 more pounds. Now I know that I could pick up another pound and that is okay because the over-all loss this week will still be 2# and that is my goal for the challenge. Anyway, woke up with a headache this morning and if coffee doesn't do the trick will take something for it. However, very happy with my loss this week and just my over-all mental place with regards to food and being healthy. I am in a good spot - I think better than I have ever been even when I lost in the past. It is a place that I feel like I can 'live' now.

I have decided that if my treadmill is shot (I will try it today) then I have a couple months to find something else (before ice and snow start to set in) and if I don't then I will just tell DH that I am joining a gym. No invitation for him to join, just that I am joining.

Have a great day and be kind to yourselves.
   (3 comments) on diet Atkins  

26 August 2014

As of this morning I am below my pre-vacation weight. I am not logging it in here though until next week since I am starting a 10 week 20# challenge. I actually started the challenge Sunday, on a FB group, but thought I would also create the challenge here for extra accountability. Of course, FS (Fat Secret) wouldn't let me start the challenge until tomorrow, but that is okay.

Usually we go out on Tuesday nights, but last night was a very late night at a baseball game. I am feeling the effects of a 5am work schedule and thinking that I may need a nap this afternoon more than my walk. Yesterday my treadmill started making this loud noise (I thought it was the washing machine). I took my headphones off and it was the treadmill and the belt looks a little off to one side. So I took the walk outside. Earlier today I did a little maintenance on the treadmill and it seemed to sound better when I ran it, but I may have to try to get a nap in first.

I am still feeling good about my food and where I am at. This last TOM my cravings were just a blip and that is a great thing. Also, my pain was not nearly as bad so I am hoping that my eating being back on track is a contributing factor.
   (2 comments) on diet Atkins  

25 August 2014

Weigh-in: 218.6 lb lost so far: 29.4 lb still to go: 25.7 lb Diet followed poorly
   (4 comments) on diet Atkins   gaining 0.4 lb a week

12 August 2014

Weigh-in: 217.8 lb lost so far: 30.2 lb still to go: 24.9 lb Diet followed 100%
   (4 comments) on diet Atkins   gaining 11.0 lb a week

11 August 2014

Okay so I haven't journaled in awhile but I been on here logging and stuff. Anyway I have a vent. I have been doing really well, with the exception of my birthday, and I had to work a week to get the extra weight off that I gained from it. Anyway, DH SAY that he supports me...that is easy to say. We are getting ready to travel to Pittsburgh this week to see his daughter and then to Georgia to see my family while he and I both work out of Georgia offices. Now Saturday we went down to work with his sister and we had breakfast together...I had bacon and eggs. He had half a sandwich for lunch and both his sister and I had a piece of beef jerky. They wanted to go to Chinese for dinner and I actually had some crab rangoon and then I had mongolian beef. So yesterday he tells me that it is not fun going out to eat with me because I have to look and see what I can eat in my phone. What the fuck?????!!!!!!?????? That we are getting ready to go on vacation and he needed to say something to me now because he didn't want us to get in an argument on vacation if we go out and I don't eat. WTF! That if he had to eat alone he would be mad. I don't know where the hell this came from. He never has to eat alone. I cook two meals for us MANY times. Not to mention that he should be eating like me because he is a damn diabetic. I told him that he says that he supports me but I don't feel it. That I eat the way he SHOULD be eating and if he decided to eat better then at least it wouldn't be so hard on him because I would not be eating other shit in front of him. That I DON'T want to get diabetes not to mention the fact that when I eat the gluten it makes me feel like crap. He said something along the lines of I am confused sometimes you eat and sometimes you don't. I said If you think this is easy it is not. I told you before that carbs are addictive for me. So it is NOT easy to just look at them and be around them and not eat them even when I know they are not good for me. No different than sugar may not make you feel like crap but it is not good for you and you still eat it. Anyway, I started crying and honestly I am still pissed off at him. I will let it go, but I feel like if it is a choice then he can just be pissed off. I will choose my health this time. I told him that I did not need to feel like if we go out I have to eat something that isn't good for me just to make him FEEL good. Of course he said "I have never made you do that and wouldn't" BUT when we were out last Tuesday he complained was he going to have 'drink alone' because I wasn't having a drink. I just don't get it. I think more than anything it reminds him that he is not eating the way he should. I am going to pack my scale and take it on vacation, but I know he would freak out if he saw it. He told me that he can't tell when I gain weight, BUT I can. I told him that I can tell and that it is my responsibility to take care of myself and be healthy and when I start gaining weight I need to do something about it. So anyway I just needed to vent. I cannot convey just how much he hurt me. I have been feeling over the past few weeks that he doesn't support me and I have never felt like that. He needs to get his head wrapped around what he needs to do to be healthy. I am not his 'police'. He said, "I can't eat flax" I said, "no one is making you eat flax. I cook separate meals for us so you can have the things that you LIKE and WANT." Oh my God! I am so mad about this. However, I will continue to stay my course. I will continue to eat healthier and take care of me. He will either get over it or he won't, but I refuse to be unhealthy so he feels comfy about it all.

Thanks for letting me vent. I just need prayers to help me get over this hurt now.
   (4 comments) on diet Atkins  

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