madaboutmoose's Journal, 22 March 2009

Nine weeks down ... a life time to go!!! Yesterday for me was a day to once again think about a lifestyle vs. a "diet." Sometimes I get so darn focused on reaching the goal (the over-achiever, competitive part of me) that I forget about living. I can be sort of a "black & white", "all or nothing", sort of thinker. That gets me into trouble because truly ... if I want to enjoy my life and my food ... it isn't "all or nothing" it is about balance, being conscious, staying aware, and so forth. So ... as I am getting feedback from my husband, my best friend, my mother that I am looking good and questions about how much more do I think I'm going to lose I'm realizing that it might be time to begin to practice "real life" whatever that might mean for me.

I have noticed lately I've been hungry more. True hunger, not boredom or taste hunger. I want to just ignore my hunger but I know that is a mistake. So, I'm working on feeding my hunger and trying not to worry about how many more calories I consumed. I KNOW that if my body is hungry I need to feed it ... it needs fuel. Easy to say, hard to do!!

Speaking of hungry I think it's time for breakfast!!! Then exercise and who knows what else the day may bring to me. Enjoy your Sunday everyone!!
206.8 lb Lost so far: 32.2 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 22 March 2009:
1256 kcal Fat: 32.94g | Prot: 88.26g | Carb: 163.42g.   Breakfast: water, medifast cocoa. Lunch: Select Harvest ZestyAzteca Meatball & Rice, pineapple tidbits, Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy Key Lime, perrier, 2% cottage cheese. Dinner: Tomato, Lettuce Trio, Green Giant Broccoli, Carrots, Cauliflower & Cheese Sauce, Tilapia (Fish) (Cooked, Dry Heat), Hidden Valley Light Ranch. Snacks/Other: Jello Creme Brulee Rice Pudding, Mrs. Freshley's MIni Chocolate Cupcakes, Special K Honey Nut Bar. more...
3590 kcal Activities & Exercise: Housework - 2 hours, Sitting - 4 hours, Standing - 1 hour, Elliptical - 1 hour and 6 minutes, Resting - 7 hours and 54 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet madaboutmoose's own diet   losing 2.4 lb a week

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Comments 
I appreciate this entry. I am becoming a staunch advocate of the slow paced loss. The tools here allow you to do that...32 lbs in under 3 months is a HUGE loss. Not that I think you should go back but sustaining this kind of drop is really hard. I wouldn't worry at all about slowing it down and losing the next 32 over a longer stretch. We've had the "on" and "off" ..."black" & "white" conversation in past comments. I just don't think you can be "on" all the time. For me at least allowing myself some days where I eat just slightly below what I burn..and I mean like 25-30 kcals has been the key. Those days I do not lose weight....but those days keep me from going "off". Good to be thinking long term...and I'd love to continue this conversation....Best Jim  
22 Mar 09 by member: jchickos
Jim ... you must be a mind reader!! In my gut ... I know it is time to slow it down ... to stop being in such a damn hurry. I can certainly keep up the exercise ... that is healthy ... and I can continue to watch what I eat ... but simply quit rushing to the goal ... what difference does it really make when I get to where ever?? I definitely need to continue this conversation ... I can be very stubborn and my dear husband ... he tries ... but I'm afraid when he gives me "the look" I am giving him "a look" right back. SIGH. So ... I feel like I'm turning a page but I know it is time. And it probably isn't so much changing anything except my attitude ... and listening to my body. That is how I will maintain over the long haul anyway, listening to my body. Thanks. I appreciate your input and feedback. Let's keep talking ... Carol 
22 Mar 09 by member: madaboutmoose
I find if I do not stay diligent I gain, I cannot slack off or take a break but I do indulge in a bite of something from time to time which I always post on my food diary. I lose weight very slowly as you can see and I know when it is all off, it will stay off because of the slowness of it and my desire to not gain this back again. I do not go by what other people say or think. I go by what I feel inside and how I feel I look on the outside. Sometimes people can feel threatened by our weight losses especially if they are over weight. If we can do it then that puts self imposed pressure on them to feel they have to do the same. I find the people who are negative about my weight loss or say I am fine now tend to be over weight themselves, so I take that into account. You have lost a lot in a short time, that is such an accomplishment. When we become tired or just do not want to this anymore, when we want those cheese burgers, or ice cream or whatever, we tend to listen a bit more to people who are not encouraging, who tell us we are just fine the way we are. My ex would bring food in that he knew I did not want to eat when he did not touch the stuff himself. That is sabotage, it is hard to lose with that around. Slowing down a bit is probably a good idea, you will stay motivated and be able to eat a bit more of what you like. Your weight chart history is so impressive, mine will look like yours some day. Keep up the good work. ((hugs)) :-) 
22 Mar 09 by member: WECANDOTHIS
Thanks! I know that no one is trying to sabotage me. I am fortunate in that way. My husband ... well quite frankly he doesn't really care for the anorexic look, he likes a woman with curves. He also knows me VERY well and has been through 20+ years of this with me. Although I don't always take his consul I value it dearly. My other best friend is also someone who I know tells me the truth as she sees it. She has been through thick and thin with me, also over 20+ years and her consul is also very valuable to me. I guess I am fortunate that not many people other than those closest to me have commented on my weight loss. I actually prefer it that way. What is important to me is that I am healthy and that I feel attractive, for me ... not for anyone else. I do have a tendency to indulge in "all or nothing" patterns. So, while I am so pleased I have taken off these 32 lbs so quickly I know myself and I must find balance if I want to keep it off. When I catch myself NOT wanting to go out because I'm afraid of what I'll eat ... I know I am not in balance. So ... balance. Not "on" or "off" ... I want to live. I LOVE good food!!! I LOVE a tasty cocktail from time to time. I LOVE ice cold beer on a hot summer day. There isn't a reason in the world I can't enjoy myself. What I don't want to do is slip back into mindless eating. Eating ONLY for taste, or to numb some feeling, out of habit, boredom, and mostly eating until I am physically miserable. I have no acid reflux when I am eating well. I have acid reflux constantly when I am overeating on a regular basis. I'm excited that at 50 ... soon to be 51 ... I think I might actually finally be ready to be okay with my body!! It has been a life time journey that I know will continue. But, this is the first time EVER I feel like I will actually be able to maintain a reasonable healthy weight for my body. Not a weight that is determined by a chart or even according to the BMI calculations. That does not mean I won't overeat on occasion, I know that I will. It doesn't even mean I won't gain some weight, I will. But, I will lose it again. Anyway, enough rambling for now ... I so appreciate all the input ... it helps me stay in the moment and on track. It is good to hear others stories ... it is wonderful to have such active support. I've NEVER had this before. It DOES make a HUGE difference!! HUGS to you all!!  
22 Mar 09 by member: madaboutmoose
Good thoughts there. What I have tried to do off and on is conscious, mindful eating and it really works. I forget to do this sometimes, but am back to it as much as I can remember. Food is to be enjoyed, not an enemy. Try eating very slowly, savoring each bite. Put your fork down between very bite if you can remember to do so. Don't eat meals in front of tv or with distractions but pay attention to your food. Then stop when you think you are full. These are Paul McKenna's steps (he did a series on tv last year called "I Can Make You Thin.") His first steps were actually to eat what you want and eat when you are hungry. I feel this can work to eat what you want, but find it works best for me if I mainly eat healthy stuff and not only indulgent stuff. But I like healthy stuff too and would not feel good eating only burgers and fries even though I love them. So, give really slowing down a try and see how that works for you. It really makes the food you eat more satisfying and I find when I eat deliberately, sitting down, I enjoy the food and I am not going to keep craving something else.  
22 Mar 09 by member: livelifefully
Great suggestions!! Thanks. 
22 Mar 09 by member: madaboutmoose
Sitting down to eat makes so much sense. I find myself eating on the run a lot and it does not seem to satisfy me when I do that. I used to savor it, why did I stop doing that? I am glad I read this because I bought some bread today ~~~~why, oh why, did I buy bread~~~~ but I did, it is the old world type, Pan Bigio, my favorite~~~~ Are you ready for this??? I just ran water over the rest of it, well, it is gone now, who wants to eat soggy water bread. When I read your I LOVE GOOD FOOD! it struck a nerve and I knew that if I did not soak that yummy bread the rest of it would be in me.  
22 Mar 09 by member: WECANDOTHIS

     
 

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