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I don't remember if it was yesterday or this morning that I weighed myself and it said 145lb. I feel OK about this; not angry, disappointed or anything like that, just neutral. A lot's been happening on the home front, mostly/ basically good or normal stuff, so if I am essentially maintaining within a 5lb window of my current weight, I'm ok with that. I'm staying active, trying to watch the food intake and rein in the self control. (I've noticed myself slipping towards laxness the past several weeks. I want to regroup on just eating what I need instead of eating whenever/ whatever I want and not put a lot of focus necessarily on dropping weight.)
In other news I've started actually driving- that thing I've been waiting to do for over 5 years and finally have the means and legal privilege to exercise by myself! :) I notice things differently in the car. I strove to be an attentive passenger (in part because of my tendency towards being a control freak) and I was aware drivers in the DC metro region were aggressive and slow, but now it seems like that's all I see: aggressive drivers. I stick close to the speed limit (I try not to undercede by more than 5-10mph unless traffic is more congested/ stopped ahead of me) because I can't afford to get a moving violation now, or an accident, and my car needs higher octane gas so I try to keep the speed constant, accelerating and decelerating gently to save gas/ wear and tear on the car. Other cars will rush to get around me and tailgate the next vehicle ahead of them and I'm about 2 seconds behind them, but not having to brake hard or change speed as much.
I feel competent- hopefully that feeling is not unfounded, but from what I am observing it doesn't seem groundless. I'm a bit more awkward than other drivers, but I don't think I'm being unsafe. Today was my second time driving by myself and this time I stopped at the gas station on the way home to refill my tank. I thought it'd be a simple thing, but thinking and doing are a bit different. I missed the turn into the station initially, so I turned into the parking lot of the shopping center ~ 50 yds past it, turned around and made it. I decided I needed to park to figure out which side my tank was, did that with a really mediocre parking job and got ready to pull out to actually get to the pump. I'm glad I was inching out slowly because I had backed in really close to a truck so the left turn I needed to make to get to the pump was blind and I wound up seeing a white car heading right towards me once I had poked the nose of the car forward enough to see around it. I pulled toward the gas station and then was confronted by a visual mess. All the pumps were occupied and I was stuck kind of in front of an SUV that was facing me at the nearest pump. For a few minutes I didn't know what to do other than wait. I couldn't really pull forward without blocking the SUV in and cars were starting to line up behind me. I put my hazards on at one point because I didn't know where I could go and I wanted people to know to go around me to exit. Finally a spot opened up and I was able to pull into it and pump gas. Thankfully that went rather smoothly and things were a lot less hectic when I was getting ready to exit. I had to cross traffic to turn left towards my home and made it to the center, alternating turn lane when my trunk hatch opened. The hazards and my parking brake have gotten their exercise for today for sure, but the rest of my trip home was uneventful. I feel good at least that I did a good parking job after only one adjustment when I got home because I felt dumb earlier at the gas station. It was hard for me getting stuck with an unexpected scenario that I wasn't sure how to respond to initially. I am glad I stayed calm and I did as well as I could think to do to alert the other drivers around me to intentions and avoid a more dangerous environment.
In a way I annoy myself by sharing this stuff because it's mundane. However, I know for me this is new. Being an independent driver is new. Learning to adapt to unforeseen driving conditions and exercising judgment to avoid an accident is new, so I am trying to process what I am going through because I am still learning. I see myself making rookie mistakes- thankfully it's all been minor, embarrassing, not immediately dangerous (I think) dumb stuff. This is kind of annoying because I hate knowing I'm screwing up when I know better, but on the plus side I don't see myself making the same mistake twice...yet. I want to be a safe driver, I don't want to be in people's way and I think I am doing ok so far. :)
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145.0 lb
Lost so far: 27.0 lb.
Still to go: 15.0 lb.
Diet followed N/A.
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gaining 1.0 lb a week
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