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I had a nice walk yesterday. The weather was beautiful, nature was peaceful and my friend did most of the talking, which I liked. I was not up to much conversation.
Since I have been away from this site, I did make it to the 240's decade of numbers. Pretty wild to once think that I was almost 300 pounds. So many people make comments but I still don't see it when I look at me. I guess the insecure person just shows through. I hope when I decide to get some new clothes that I will feel differently.
My son is going through some difficult times with Social Media (Twitter). Kids can be so mean. I keep telling him to just sign out of it but these kids are addicted to this stuff. We did manage to have a long talk last night which was nice. He just turned 17 and he is a really nice looking boy with a good heart. Kids just seem to want to make a happy kid feel bad. I hope this passes soon. It causes me not to get much sleep. It hurts so bad when you want to take your child's pain away and you can not. I think I have shared that my husband works for UPS and this is the worst time of year for him. He literally is only here 10pm till 2am to sleep and he is back at it again. It makes me very lonely. My Mom has dementia and she is very mean at times. She has said some awful things to me over the last month and I have a hard time looking past it and moving on. I know it is her disease process but it is still very difficult. This all just seems to add to the depression and makes it hard to rise above. I know there are so many more people suffering and my problems seem small in the world but it does still get a person down. Funny, too, I really seem to miss home and the snow this Christmas season!
I have not seen my personal trainer in a month. I just keep cancelling. I have a hard time wanting to go there. I need that push that makes me do what I need to do. I do make it about once a week to the gym, I still ride my bike and exercise around here. I just seem to want to avoid places and people at all costs right now. Sometimes I want to call off at work but know that would be the worst thing to do. Everything seems like an effort.
Well thanks everyone for letting me "air" some things. A in the middle of the night clearing of the head. I may get some sleep now.
I hope everyone has a great day~
Love each other!
Hugs,
P
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 Comments
Love and hugs Phyllis. I know how hard it is. Most people do not understand the workings of depression. Those of us that have had it do understand, as we have been through it. It can seem so hard to drag yourself out of bed to go to work. You just want to stay in bed and be safe and warm, and stay there forever!!! You just barely manage to get anything done around the house, or maybe not at all. Its an effort to socialize with anyone. I'm here for you Phyllis. I really am! I also want to tell you that it will pass!! It may take a little while, but it will go away!!! Hang in there girl!!! I know it makes it hard to exercise with your trainer. Give yourself a gigantic hug from me, and I hope to hear from you soon!! Take care and brighter skies!!!
10 Dec 13 by member: pumakitten
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Love hitting the new decades. I hope things get better for your son, I know as parents it affects you as much (if not more than) them sometimes. Have a blessed Tuesday. :)
10 Dec 13 by member: waynem37
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Hey, Phyllis. Glad to see you're doing so well with the weight. The 240's!!!! WOW! Nice work. I'm sorry to hear things are tough at the moment. And problems weigh on us, no matter how small they may seem to others. Thinking about it, that personal trainer may be exactly what you need right now, to get you out of the blues. It is something you can control, something you are in charge of, and can give you real satisfaction. If you get there and work with the trainer, some of the things you can't control (like your husband working so much, and your mom's condition) may fade for a bit, and give you a greater sense of control in your life. Anyway, just a thought. I think you're doing great on your WL journey! I hope some of the trouble at home clears up for you, and things smooth out into the holidays. Best wishes!
10 Dec 13 by member: Rob.c.weiss
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Feeling the love! Thanks! I am scheduled for the trainer on Friday at 4:30pm. My plan is to go take it on.
10 Dec 13 by member: Phyllisgreen
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