Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 26 November 2013

I ate chocolate. BUT! I tracked it and I'm still going to stay in my calorie range for the day so long as I have a salad for dinner and I avoid anything else. I made it to the gym today too so hopefully a slip with a couple snack size candy bars wont be my undoing. It's not really a slip. It's just candy.

Hubby is stressing me out. Well not really stessing me out. Just disappointing and upsetting me. I brought up the subject of the Ipod last night while we were doing chores to tell him I found a black friday deal for a new one. If I don't see an Ipod by friday I really don't expect to ever see it again. I could buy it, hold onto it for an xmas gift and then if it did by some miracle show up I could always return the new one. I hadn't even gotten any of the details out before I got major attitude. He didn't want to talk about it. He asked if I was even sure it was gone. Um yeah... I tore the house apart. A witness saw the theif with it after they left our house. Well he doesn't want to say anything and cause issues if it's going to show up. Which.. I can understand. I said wait a week and see what happens. Then I mention the cost of a new one when it's on sale to which he replies... "She isn't worth that much." As in.. my daughter. isn't worth getting a new one. "She doesn't take good enough care of her things." She's 9. Is her room a mess and does it look like a tornado went through? yes. She's 9. Is her jacket of bookbag on the floor every day she comes home from school? Yup.. again she's 9. She did take care of her previous ipod for an entire year without losing it. She loved the thing. It was teaching her to take care of her things if she wants to keep them! She's 9 and she watches her brother, does barn chores, has a sense of right and wrong, is compassionate, patient, and caring. She's a pretty good 9 yr old in my opinion!! She didn't go to a friends house and steal anything.

I'm furious. She's my daughter. She's a piece of me. If he doesn't think "She's worth it" then in my brain he's just said I'm not worth it. He obviously doesn't see everything she does to help me. He's too busy having his face glued to the tv at night to see her entertaining her brother while I cook dinner, or entertain him while I try to milk cows, she feeds the dogs when they're begging for the little mans dinner and I'm trying to feed them. She is so worth it.

I am so freaking done with everyone and everything. The holidays haven't even started and I want them over. I'm suppose to drive out with hubby back home a day later than planned so we follow his schedule. Originally we were suppose to go with the guy that helps out at the farm because he was going to help me drive when hubby was too busy to go. Seriously? I'd rather go on my own with the kids. The last thing I want is to spend a weekend with my husband in a car for 14 hours.