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Welcome to Wednesday.
Today has been one of those mornings. Just not feeling quite up to par and if someone had offered me a nickel to go back to bed I would have! Unfortunately, I have a busy day ahead. Actually that might be fortunate as the day will pass quickly, right? LOL!!
Other than just an 'off' morning everything is fine. I put out a special "treat" for the mouse and he/she has been munching on it regularly as it is almost gone ... so I imagine that particular mouse will not be visiting me again. No new signs of wildlife on today's walk ... well, no bear anyway!!
I continue to walk my path and focus on the long haul instead of the short run and some days it is easier than others. Even though I haven't weighed in here I have been weighing. Weight is up from my last weigh in ... typical. No doubt I'll catch it up by Friday or Saturday. As I offer encouragement to others here, who 'feel' stuck I deal with the same issues. It frustrates me that I didn't go HOG wild over the weekend but still I just can't seem to keep the weight at 180 and certainly have not yet been able to bring it below my blue line. And yet ... exercise is going well, eating is going well, in general I feel good (aches and pains and being 'off' today aside), and I KNOW that I am doing what I need to be doing. Could I drop my calories lower? I suppose but they are low enough I think and I don't want to make the mistake of adopting a 'dieting' mindset which has always caused me difficulties in the past.
I continually remind myself of several things ... muscle weighs more than fat, I wear a smaller size than I have ever worn before in my life, simple math wins out over the long haul, the number on the scale is just one tool in my toolbox to measure progress, this is not a race, I am more than a number on the scale, and so on and so forth. Kindness reigns. Kindness is the only way for me.
I say all this because I think some of our friends here who are just beginning their journey might think that those of us who have been on here a while, who have lost a significant amount of weight maybe have it easier. Some things do get easier in time. But the process continues. Being mindful continues. Being kind continues. Being frustrated from time to time, continues!! I know this is key for my continues "success" at living a healthy and full life. Enough said.
I am grateful today ...
1. For my ability to reflect ...
2. several good laughs during a fairly ridiculous movie last night ("Youth in Revolt") ...
3. rescheduling an appointment from Thursday to Friday so I only need to make one trip up north instead of 2 days in a row!!
4. our early intervention team receiving a wonderful compliment from the videographers who were here a couple weeks ago ... they think we ROCK!!!
5. the temperatures beginning to dip down into highs in the 80's today, tomorrow and for the weekend ... my favorite summer temps!!!
And so life goes on!! I suspect as the morning wears on I'll feel better. I had a tickle in my throat all day yesterday so I am really hoping I am not coming down with something. No time to be sick!! Oh yes, I think our son is coming up on Saturday and spending the night. It's always good to see him. So ... shall we continue separately, together on this journey of practicing kindness towards ourselves? Who is with me? The circle of support here carries me through each day ... each bump in the road ... each celebration!! Have a good day ... be good to yourselves ... I will be good to me!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 18 August 2010:
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1401 kcal
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Fat: 39.90g | Prot: 150.20g | Carb: 122.25g.
Breakfast: water, Jarlsberg Lite, La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortilla, large egg. Lunch: banana, Weight Watchers Yogurt, Jarlsberg Lite, white turkey meat, Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins. Dinner: Lite Jarlsberg, Genuine Draft 64, cottage cheese, ground beef. Snacks/Other: turkey meatloaf, Snickers Marathon Dark Chocolate Crunch. more...
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2976 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 38 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 22 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
I agree, when I first came on here, I thought that you all who'd been here for awhile were just breezing on through, losing weight, having a grand old time, while I was struggling with what I was eating, how much, and when. Now I realize that while we were doing the same thing, you all had been doing it for a while, and therefore, while it is not easier, it's all about how you approach. When you first start something, it's not easy, but once you've been doing it for a while it becomes second nature. Perception is everything. I love your kindness towards yourself, and others. I hope your day is wonderful!
18 Aug 10 by member: alllicat
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I enjoy your reflections...they help me to remember to not take this journey in such a business like manner some days, to think about the details that I often just take for granted. I didn't realize you do early intervention...that is awesome. My daughter is autistic, and we had her in early intervention when she was small...it really helped a lot. Hope you have a good day!
18 Aug 10 by member: onmyway
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Moose...im glad your mouse has been enjoying the "treat".....and hopefully will not return. :-(
Yes TOTALLY on board with the self kindness......if WE are not our own best cheerleader....WHO is gonna be??? I agree with Allicat.....i guess when starting this journey, and reading others journals - you assume the longer you have been on this journey.....the easier it is. YOU teach us something all the time. AND putting into prospective where the scale is.....as YOU say just a tool.....is a HARD thing to do. BUT your very right!!
I wish you could spend a day in bed.....as I did yesterday.....and a big glass of that emergency-c stuff....and happy to report im back good. HOPE your throat tickle passes.....
Have a great day.
18 Aug 10 by member: Klannoye
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I think new people sometimes look at us "old hats" and don't realize we came from exactly the same place. I look at the whole thing completely differently than I did only a year ago. I see so much of myself in other's journals here, and I think many of them have no idea that I once sounded exactly like them not so long ago. Sometimes I smile to myself at people who are at stages I have since past and I hope for them that they will also have their moments of epiphany that won't make it easy necessarily, but will make it less of a fight. Go with the flow, you don't really have a choice :) Can we fast forward to Friday now?
18 Aug 10 by member: k8yk
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18 Aug 10 by member: Chris1979
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Moose I am so glad you mentioned that in your journal today because I don’t think any of us are breezing through this at all. It is a constant journey and requires constant awareness to reach or maintain our goals. Sometimes I think after all this time here it hardly seems fair that we are still struggling with this on a daily basis and then I remember “journey”..the journey that is never finished that I am lucky enough to share with wonderful buddies like you when I am smiling and having an easier go of it and also on those days where it is tough.
18 Aug 10 by member: chattycathy1955
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I personally would be in favor of fast forwarding to Friday. I'm really 'done' with this work week!! LOL!! Christina you are welcome!! Thanks Kate ... yes ... go with the flow ... there really isn't any other choice!! And Cathy ... yes ... that's what I want others to realize who are just beginning ... none of us really "breezes" through this ... it is indeed a process that is continually in flux!!
18 Aug 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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Oh no! You poisoned the poor little mouse? Terrible, terrible! ;-). Things may get a little easier when we are at our goal weight but, we must remain always aware and ever vigilant which is no small task. You sound fine moose, I hope you have a great day!
18 Aug 10 by member: information
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Who said anything about poison??? I said I gave the mouse a special 'treat'!!! LOL!!!
18 Aug 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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Living life isn't easy but I am learning if I change my mind I change my struggle and choose a more peaceful path. May peace be with all my buddies. TOWANDA!!!
18 Aug 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Love your journal today (well most days). I use to feel the same way. Now I worry too much if the newbies hate me for maintaining or hate me for wanting to lose more (as I would hate lol). Yikes. I like the way K8yk states it. Mainly I stick around because maintaining is another battle, and I love to interact or help buddies (and get help) even though I haven't been doing much lately. I miss this if I am away too long. Your journal seems to remind me that weight loss is not about a little decision of doing it once and for all, its ALL the decisions we make through out the day -food, movement, attitude, kindness to ourselves and others, ect list goes on! and btw, I don't think lowering cals will do it either, its about tricking our body w/ a new routine, our bodies just got use to this 'good' one we used for so long :) happy day, its ALMOST friday!!! (I am soooooo gonna have a margarita this weekend -oops shoulda posted this somewhere else huh?)LOL
18 Aug 10 by member: cindyshine
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Great journal today Carol - and glad you will soon be rid of your mouse problem... eeeek!!! LOL
18 Aug 10 by member: MomofTwoGirls
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Reading your journals is my daily therapy...thank you so very much for sharing these thoughts with us all...I appreciate u darlin'...hugggggies
18 Aug 10 by member: drd3775
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Aw ... thanks Deb ... you are sweet!!
18 Aug 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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Another wonderful journal Moose. I have not been on this journey but 7 months, but what I have learned from folks like you has made me a better person and a more diligent person. I have been encouraged by you so much, learned to "be kind to myself", and not to dwell on numbers so badly. You have taught us that "it comes" with patience. This is not a race as you would say. You're right, it's not. Slow but sure wins the "journey". Like Cathy said, the journey is really never finished and as long as I am on it, I am glad I have someone out there like you to laugh with, cry with, and learn with. Thanks Moose for being there and we will be here for you on your journey also. Have a safe, cozy, relaxing evening and I hope you feel better tomorrow. Don't want you sick right before the weekend :-)
18 Aug 10 by member: The Next Number
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well moose, I am glad I stopped by. You are right- us new ones do think that it is easier for the veterans who have lost alot of weight. I wonder some days if i can really do this- really continue on day in and day out until it is off. seems like an eternity until I will feel the euphoria of weighing my goal weight- but like you wrote, muscle weighs more than fat and though my number is higher, I am probably healthier than ever before:) have a great day and thanks for putting things in perspective...:)
18 Aug 10 by member: Baileyboo
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Wednesday is always a blah day for me! Hope you didn't catch my cold! lol!
18 Aug 10 by member: abbadabba
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LOL re the mouse. WE live in a big old apartment building right near a huge cemetery (aside from parks, the only large green spaces around here--this one is so huge it's a big birding destination). We are plagued with mice. Ugh. It's a constant battle. When we first started getting them I was like, aw, they are so cute! I insisted on the most humane ways of getting rid of them: the noise thing (useless), then poison (they learn quickly). Then, one night we watched a scary movie. The movie ended, we turned off the tV and heard rising notes coming from our piano. The mice were NESTING in the piano. (It was old and broken and not played.) After we were away for a little while, we came back to full-on infestation. I had to wash by hand all of our dishes, tupperware and bakeware and totally clean out the pantry. I went from "don't hurt the mice" to "use whatever you can to get those $%#$&^%*^ things out of here." GReat points about this lifelong journey, and how it doesn't ever get easy. So true. As always.
19 Aug 10 by member: beets_yum
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19 Aug 10 by member: Baileyboo
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