LisaPhenon's Journal, 27 March 2013

It's been a while since I weighed myself. I'm actually kind of scared. The last time I weighed myself I had gained two pounds and it screwed up my whole day. I was really in a funk. I didn't workout and I stuffed my face with junk. I was back on track the next day, but I'm always afraid that my work is going to be in vein. Sometimes I think, I'm just going to turn into my mother, no matter what I do. I inherited her figure... the thick upper arms and thighs, big butt, ect... short and thick. It always looked good on me though as long as I kept my weight down. As I got heavier, I would look in the mirror and see my mother. She's always eaten a lot, drank a lot, and never exercised. That's not who I am, nor who I want to be. So, consciously I know that I don't have to be that, but when I work hard and the scale doesn't reflect my hard work, I think, well maybe I'm just suppose to be a short, chunky woman for the rest of my life. I know that's ridiculous, but that's what the scale does to me when I don't see the right numbers. It completely changes my mood, and I have ridiculous thoughts and lose touch with reality and logic. I'm crazy

Diet Calendar Entries for 27 March 2013:
1592 kcal Fat: 76.52g | Prot: 70.84g | Carb: 170.22g.   Breakfast: Oatmeal, Cinnamon, Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds. Lunch: Del Taco Chicken Taco Del Carbon. Dinner: Hardee's 1/4 lb Little Thickburger, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Coconut Milk, Great Value Strawberry Awake Cereal. Snacks/Other: Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds, Polly-O 2% String Cheese, Applesauce Unsweetened. more...
4114 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 1 hour, Standing - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Sitting - 4 hours, Driving - 2 hours and 30 minutes, Desk Work - 2 hours, Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Weight Training (moderate) - 35 minutes, Resting - 3 hours and 25 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet hour glass diet  

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Comments 
I don't think your work will be wasted; just keep at it. Are you working out? Do you ever measure yourself with a tape measure? Last time I went on a big weight loss kick (about 7 years ago), I had to weigh AND measure myself to keep motivated. When I started exercising, I gained weight, but I didn't notice that my body was still shrinking until I measured myself. And, as for ending up like your mother, I think many of us wonder about that. :) I used to think my mother was huge when I was younger (and much, much thinner), yet now I weigh about 50 pounds heavier than her. You are not crazy, WE ALL get frustrated at the numbers. Next time you see the numbers bounce up (because it happens to the best of us), just remember that you have this FS community behind you! That scale does not (and will not) define you!  
27 Mar 13 by member: KatieTyrell
Thank you 
27 Mar 13 by member: LisaPhenon
Oh I can SO relate to this one-I have to force myself to get on here and admit when my weight has gone up, and honestly the thing that has helped me the most was realizing it happens to other people too! Even people that have lost LOTS of weight and seem to have it all together, struggle with this! That number on the scale is a mean old grouch, isn't it? Katie has it right on the money-measuring yourself will often show loss when the scale lies right to your face and tells you that you've gained weight. Do you have a garment that you would like to get back into? Try it on each week. You'll see the effects of all your hard work with that garment, because the garment doesn't need the scale to show you that you're smaller. Big huge hugs-this can be so dang hard sometimes!  
27 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
great suggestion. I'm gonna pick out something to try on now. Trust me, the majority of my wardrobe is too small, so I should be able to find something. 
27 Mar 13 by member: LisaPhenon
I hear ya! I've "shrunk" enough to get back into some things I love and I'm so happy I didn't get rid of them. You know, all those closet organizing experts say "if you haven't worn it in a year get rid of it", and I did, for the most part. But I could NOT part with a skirt I just love, and a cashmere sweater. I kept trying to convince myself to just get rid of them, that they were making me feel guilty, but I couldn't do it. I really love those two pieces and frankly, they'd be expensive to replace. Cashmere isn't cheap! The skirt is a fairly expensive brand, AND it has that high/low hem that is so popular now, though I bought it six or seven years ago. I am glad now that I kept them, and you'll be glad to get back into clothes that you love that will fit better. You CAN do this! Your food choices are frankly much better than my own, so that clearly isn't the problem either! I will say this-a few years ago I lost 40 pounds (yes I gained it all back, but that's another story LOL!). It took me a year, however, to lose the first five pounds. No idea why, I worked really hard at it, but the actual weight didn't come off. I did, however, go down 3 clothing sizes in that year. The next year, the weight came off, but I only went down another 2 clothing sizes. Sometimes the weight just doesn't want to come off and you just have to power on through it knowing that you're making healthy choices for your body. You WILL lose weight and fit into those clothes! We're all here to cheer you on every step of the way as well!  
27 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
That all makes so much sense. It shows me that the scale is really not as important as I thought it was. I honestly feel better about myself. I know I'm making progress, and I'm really thinking I should just keep doing what I'm doing and ignore the scale for now. So far, two people at zumba have said I'm looking good and asked how much weight I've lost. I had no answer. All I know is that I need a belt with my two favorite pairs of jeans now, even after they're freshly washed. I'm just going to keep looking for those little milestones. They keep me going and make me feel good.  
28 Mar 13 by member: LisaPhenon

     
 

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