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I'm having a really hard year. My childhood best friend died a few months ago. Then this week has been ridiculous.... my children being bad, my favorite Guinea pig died, my grandfather just died yesterday, my dryer died in the middle of laundry day. 😳 What is happening right now....
I feel like a wreck. Emotional, numb, tired, quiet, sad, depressed, angry, needing space and alone and not getting it.
But. looking at this one silver lining.... old me would have been inhaling sugar and carbs to cope with all this rapid fire pain and loss.
I haven't. Haven't even felt inclined to... that is a miracle. Still fasting, still eating well, still exercising. My heart and mind are a tornado right now but nothing else has changed! That gives me so much hope for the future. I did Weight Watchers 14-15 years ago with great results but stress with kids brought me to my heaviest because it didn't deal with my sugar addiction. I've been wondering if it would happen again this time, lose it all and then over time gain it all back... but if I can stand in the middle of this sh*tstorm right now and stay the course, bend but not break, AND still lose...? that gives me hope that this is different. I'm different.
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162.8 lb
Lost so far: 98.4 lb.
Still to go: 12.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 12 July 2019:
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1297 kcal
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Fat: 89.79g | Prot: 90.25g | Carb: 29.04g.
Breakfast: Coffee. Lunch: Starbucks Espresso Shot, Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides, Great Value Heavy Whipping Cream Ultra Pasteurized, Starbucks Sugar Free Vanilla Syrup, Hidden Valley The Original Ranch, Chicken Breast, Blue Cheese , Drained Mandarin Orange (Canned or Frozen), Kroger Walnut Halves & Pieces, Earthbound Farm Organic Spring Mix. Dinner: Hidden Valley The Original Ranch, Cilantro (Coriander) , Del Monte Diced Tomatoes, Chicken Breast, Kroger Cheddar Cheese, Great Value Medium Black Olives, Earthbound Farm Organic Spring Mix. more...
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losing 0.5 lb a week
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