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Ok so weight's been creeping up again. You know what, I don't even care. We're getting into winter now so it's not exactly the best time to be trying to lose weight anyway. I don't know, there's probably some scientific study about how when it gets colder we all want to fatten ourselves up and get a bit more padding till the spring. Or I'm talking crap, whatever. I don't think I'm ever going to be happy with my appearance so I'll settle for happier. Give or take the few pounds I've gained in the last few weeks and my weight is the best it's been for the best part of a decade so screw it. I'm gonna try to resist getting weighed at all really. If clothes start getting tighter, then I'll worry. Over the past few months I've got myself a whole new wardrobe. I say new, most of it has been from charity shops but the stuff I've picked up is in decent enough condition. I mean, I got a pair of Levi's for £1 last week. It's the size thing that I can hardly believe though. It was only about 20 months ago that I was a 44" waist and XXL top. Now I'm 36" and L top. Like I say, I'm never going to be happy with my appearance but I feel like being the size I am now gives me more options on what to do with it, there's more choice of clothes. I couldn't even find clothes that fit on the high street, I used to have to order online or go to places more aimed at middle aged men so for years I was kinda dressing older than I am. Clothes used to be a means to an end, just a practical necessity. I've got a lot of clothes now that I actually like and think are even a bit flattering on me sometimes. I know I'm no model, but whatever. Models have god knows what tailoring and lighting and polishing going on and I dare say with the right angle, the right light, the right clothes I could be passable. Here's me a couple of weeks ago anyway: It's supposed to be an old school doctor's costume but I think I looked more like Robin Hood or a Thunderbird. Whatever anyway, looking at my avatar and that picture it feels like a different life.
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 Comments
Reading your post felt like dejavu. Been there, said the same things. "I'll stop getting on the scale, I'll go by how the clothes feel, what's a few pounds in the winter.' And maybe for you,that will be fine. For me, it wasn't. I'm a 4time loser and have put it all back on ~ this is my fifth shot at major weight loss. Please don't let whatever is going on in your outlook sabatoge all the hard work you've done to reach your goal weight. When you mention 'never being happy about your appearance, just be happy' - that's great. It just sounded so familiar because it translated to an excuse to eat, which made me feel full. That was me, not you. You'll probably be fine. I just wanted to encourage you not to give up just because it's winter. You're so close....
25 Oct 12 by member: FullaBella
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It's so crazy how we can get so set in a frame of mind about our previous appearance- I'm still considering myself the "big" girl, although I haven't had to shop in the plus size section in months. It's hard to let go of our own perception of ourselves. I'm glad to hear that you're happy, though. Hang in there and listen to what your body needs versus wants. I like your doctor's costume :) What was the event?
27 Oct 12 by member: flagchic
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FullaBella -
Thanks for the comment. I had a few aborted attempts of losing weight in the past but to be honest my heart was never really in it. I don't know what was different this time, I don't know where the determination came from and I don't particularly care. Sorry, don't think I was that clear in my post, I usually type these things off the cuff should've thought about it a bit more. Nah, I'm not giving up, I'm just at a different stage now. It's not about weight loss for me anymore, it's about weight control. I spent the last year and half looking down, now I'm looking up and so long as I stay under that's great.
I'm sorry to hear that this is your fifth serious attempt, but hopefully you can find some encouragement in the knowledge that you've done it before so you can do it again and history needn't repeat itself. Good luck :)
07 Nov 12 by member: rwaller7483
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Flagchic -
Oh god seriously. It's not just appearance, either. I mean, I've been stuck in the mindset of how it used to take me half an hour to get from A to B and now it takes me 20 minutes. Stuff like that. The appearance thing is a bigger issue than I'd like to admit though. I do feel better in myself but I feel like it's wrong to feel better in myself. Like, I'm becoming part of society's problem, that I'm inadvertently "fatty bashing" or something by having been so hard on myself if that makes sense. I feel like I'm being superficial now, and I'm kinda uncomfortable with that.
Thanks. It wasn't an event as such, I just went to a museum with a few friends and they've got a few hands on sections. This was the place anyway, http://www.phm.org.uk/. I like that kinda thing.
07 Nov 12 by member: rwaller7483
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