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23 February 2017

Done my usual trick. Three good weeks and a bad weekend to override it, losing hope and patience and going backwards. Had a doctor's appointment yesterday cos I'm just so frustrated with my weight. Everyone has their ups and downs, I know that, but my weight has been so erratic for so long it's beyond anything I could consider normal.

I mean, and I told my doctor this, to put it into context, over the last 6 years I've been 25st and 15st, and now I'm somewhere around the middle. I've lost a stone in three weeks and put it back on dozens of times. There is a history of hypothyroidism and diabetes in the family. I have a history of depression too, which you could also associate the erratic weight with. Just sick of the cycle, and I've convinced myself that there's something more complex than my laziness or greed that's stopping me. My doctor more or less fobbed me off, he printed me a load of paperwork which I have read and haven't learned anything from. I've had a blood test anyway, not sure what it'll achieve. "Pull yourself together" is just about the crappest advice you can offer anyone.

25 January 2017

Weigh-in: 267.0 lb lost so far: 10.0 lb still to go: 47.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet rwaller7483's own diet   losing 2.3 lb a week

19 January 2017

Weigh-in: 269.0 lb lost so far: 8.0 lb still to go: 49.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet rwaller7483's own diet   losing 5.0 lb a week

12 January 2017

Weigh-in: 274.0 lb lost so far: 3.0 lb still to go: 54.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet rwaller7483's own diet   losing 3.5 lb a week

04 January 2017

It's been a while... Got no idea what I weigh right now and to be honest I'm not interested in finding out for a good while yet. All I know is I'm running out of clothes that fit and I'm tiring more easily so I'm back, I think my head's in the right place now. I'm hesitant to buy into the new year new me shtick. We've got to work on our health when we're ready, there's no fixed position for any of us to start from, don't know when how or why but for me, when it's time, it just clicks. New Year, I don't think is a great time to start. I do like the idea of a fresh start, new beginnings and all the rest of it but that's all it is, an idea. In reality, nothing's changed and I think when people do put pressure on themselves, when you can't watch go anywhere without seeing adverts for gym and slimming club memberships, I kinda feel like we're setting ourselves up for failure. Must be millions of people who'll join a gym in January and stop going by March. We'll be ready, but we'll be ready in our own time on our own terms.

The second half of last year was a disaster really. Like I said in the last entry, the hit and run was just terrible timing. I was doing so well until then and I'm certain there's no way I'd be where I am now if that hadn't happened. I was feeling good. So I spent a few months feeling sorry for myself and eating and drinking too much crap. I was finally able to get a new bike and start cycling again about three months after the hit and run. I had a scan not long after that which showed ligament damage and that the shin bone in my right leg had actually shifted. I could tell all the time I was waiting that the shape was just wrong, but I got fobbed off a few times until I had the scan. I've had physiotherapy since then which ended about three weeks ago. My leg will never be 100% again but I'm about 95%, it took ages till I could straighten it almost the same as my left leg but this is as good as it'll be now. I still get the odd twinge if I jerk it or I've noticed more, when it's cold. But this is it now. And truth be told, I think I probably could've done more exercise on it sooner, but it's the head that was the problem then.

Now I'm just looking forward to spring. I like the kind of exercise you do without really thinking about it, long walks in beautiful scenery. Not so tempting right now, but give us a couple of months when we've got longer, warmer days and that'll be good. I don't think I need to make many drastic changes to get back on track. Not sure I'll even bother joining a gym, I'm cycling to work everyday which is a decent workout in itself. Maybe just subtle things. Obviously cutting back on portion size - not necessarily cutting anything out, just less of it or less often. Less drinking will be good. Got a couple of breaks to look forward to, so we'll see. For now, I'll count my calories until I can brave the scales.

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