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16 June 2017

I seriously think yesterday might've been the first time in my adult life that I've gone a day without eating any cheese or potatoes at all. It wasn't a conscious thing but it's not a bad thing. I was such a picky eater growing up, but when I went vegetarian I had to broaden a bit. I was nearly 30 before I realised I actually like stuff like spinach, sweet potato, butternut squash, even stuff like broccoli. I'm such a manchild.

Fourth day back counting anyway, I have no idea where I am at the moment and don't particularly want to know. Still doing my usual 7 miles a day cycling on work days. I know I'm calorie counting, but I'm more interested in the stuff that you can't really count, how you feel. Alright, I can count my weight and measure my waist but I'm not going to, just want to get my clothes fitting a bit better again.

18 May 2017

12 April 2017

Wow, over a month since my last entry... Finally got my blood results back a couple of weeks ago and not much to report really, I was quite surprised by some of it. Had a blood pressure test when I went in too and that was absolutely fine, I was expecting it through the roof. The only thing that wasn't right with my blood was cholestorol. I didn't even know, but there's good and bad cholestorol... Apparently I've got double the good cholestorol and 150% the bad cholestorol. That's straight forward enough in theory, just less dairy. Having a quick google I can see why my good cholestorol is good, beans, whole grains, fibre, nuts.. I do have a lot of that sort of stuff.

I was weirdly disappointed that the results did come back normal for my thyroid though. There is a family history and a lot of the symptoms do hit home but suppose they are quite vague. Feeling tired - god knows how many reasons there can be for that. I wish it was my thyroid that was the problem, that'd be something I could point to and say great, I'll take the right pills and help my body do what it's supposed to do. Relying on will power and confidence doesn't seem too secure to me! But I'm back on it again... Yesterday was a good start, have a few good weeks then got a little break in May to look forward to. Booked return flights for a weekend in Hamburg for £20 so it'd be rude not to. Trouble is, with all that lovely German beer I'll probably undo whatever good I can in the next three weeks anyway.

10 March 2017

23 February 2017

Done my usual trick. Three good weeks and a bad weekend to override it, losing hope and patience and going backwards. Had a doctor's appointment yesterday cos I'm just so frustrated with my weight. Everyone has their ups and downs, I know that, but my weight has been so erratic for so long it's beyond anything I could consider normal.

I mean, and I told my doctor this, to put it into context, over the last 6 years I've been 25st and 15st, and now I'm somewhere around the middle. I've lost a stone in three weeks and put it back on dozens of times. There is a history of hypothyroidism and diabetes in the family. I have a history of depression too, which you could also associate the erratic weight with. Just sick of the cycle, and I've convinced myself that there's something more complex than my laziness or greed that's stopping me. My doctor more or less fobbed me off, he printed me a load of paperwork which I have read and haven't learned anything from. I've had a blood test anyway, not sure what it'll achieve. "Pull yourself together" is just about the crappest advice you can offer anyone.

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