strawberrylollipop's Journal, 11 February 2008

No not sad amber - happy amber! ok!? I'm at the moment in a major bad-luck phase of my life, but I'm determined not to let that get me down! Upset and worried by all means but depressed - hell no! I too look at my house after a very long week at work (of which I am no longer employed at as of last wednesday) and think "Crap, this place is a mess" - we all do sweetheart! It's as my husband says "something a woman always feels and see's and a man never does see". Having a positive outlook isn't always easy but it makes life easier to deal with when you do! I can't comment on you giving up Prozac because I simply have never used it but I know the side-effects of giving it up! When I get super depressed, I can't function. Nothing ever seems to go right and I just don't feel comfortable within myself and therefore don't feel happy which then causes me to get depressed even more. So, I write down every feeling I have, everything! I cry and scream and sob sometimes but I get out everything I am feeling... then I burn it! Yup, burn it! That way I've released what I was feeling down in black and white and then once it's burned, it's gone! Well, isn't it?? I hope that you don't get too dispondent in gaining 1.5lbs, your body in my opinion is healing after giving up the prozac! If you need to talk, you know where to find me!  

Did you start taking prozac for chemical imbalance or just going through a rough time? I took prozac in school and didn't do too much for me. It made things worse I think. Happiness for me is something I have to work at. Mental illness runs rampant through my family, not too mention really bad PMS. Plus I don't have health insurance either. So I am pretty much left up too my own devices. I have learned to stay occupied all the time, breathe and meditate. Not to mention self medicate w/ food. I am now unlearning the food part. Everyday I have to tell myself how blessed I am. I have my own business, my own house, a wonderful son, wonderful parents and friends that care about me. Why do I need to throw myself a pity party, there is no need. I look at other positive people and I see they always are looking for the silver lining. The glass is half full. Things have a way of working out. These are my mantras. They have to be. My other choices are to lay in bed all day or sit on the couch. I can't afford to do that, plus it would not be fair to my son either. So I guess what you need to do to be happy is to find happiness. In a book, a movie, in a hobby, in a day at the beach or park, a sunny day, a piece of art, a hour of exercising, a goal met, a pet, a hug, etc. Little things add up. Don't give in to the sadness, nothing good comes from it. Don't give in!  

1.5 up? IT COULD BE water retention, I bet it will be off in the next few days, keep your chin up !