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So I've been trying to have honest conversations with myself...as odd as that might sound but I have come to realize so much through it. Yes, I am not happy with my weight but that shouldn't be a deciding factor to abuse myself. It shouldn't give me the right to verbally abuse myself...it shouldn't be a right some days to just throw my hands up in the air and "F*CK IT ALL!" and then proceed to binge on everything. I had one of those moments last night...and after my binge, I sat down, feeling depressed...until I started this inner monologue with myself. It kind of went something like this:
Me: Why can't you just drop the weight quickly? I am going to remain a whale forever. You are disgusting...you are alone because you are gross.
My Body: I am trying to lose it...but I can't do it with you being on my side. I can't do it if you don't want to fuel me properly. I do the best I can with the cards I am handed.
Me: ...*moment of silence* I am sorry. From now on, I will give you all the love and support...I will be your biggest cheerleader.
MY Body: Thank you...that's all I can ask for.
I swear, I am not crazy...at least I don't think I am lol. But seriously...it really made me stop and think about how long I have struggled and wondering why I became so bitter. Yeah, I have dealt with quite a few abusive situations...and yeah, I am still getting over a lot of it even though it has been nearly a decade...but if I don't love myself, who will? My girls will grow up, leave home and start their own lives and families...do I want them to model the same behavior? Absolutely not. I want them to know that every time you stumble and fall, it's okay. No one is perfect...but why do I expect the same from myself? I can't be perfect...there is no such thing as perfect. All I can do is the same thing I expect from them...try and if I stumble and fall...I just have to pick myself up, brush off the dirt and continue on. I dunno...maybe I am just weird having a conversation with my body. :p
Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA
Plank: TBA
Yoga: TBA
*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA
*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA
*Record Everything you Eat: TBA
*Stay in Calorie range: TBA
*Park further away: TBA
Diet Calendar Entry for 10 April 2015:
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340 kcal
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Fat: 12.50g | Prot: 15.00g | Carb: 43.00g.
Breakfast: Minute Maid 100% Orange Juice (10 oz), Crystal Farms Hard Boiled Eggs, Silk Pure Almond Milk - Original. more...
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 Comments
There is only as perfect as you can get. Keep plugging away.
10 Apr 15 by member: cstout30
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One thing that I run across in my own process and from listening to the folks on FS is that one of the major keys to success is to keep trying. All of us have our bad days, but what makes us big losers (meant in the most positive way :) ) is that we shake it off and get back with the program. Don't beat yourself up over it, just make today a better day. :) You might have to do that more than once, many times even, but you are worth all of the effort.
10 Apr 15 by member: izzypup68
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I had a similar revelation. I think is was a blog that prompted me to ask my body what it wanted. I love food, and growing up in a family of five, all with large appetites, left me with a desire to taste all the flavours before they were gone. In particular I'd eat a double 'meal deal' at lunch, even though it'd been a long time since all five of us were living under the same roof.
After I came across this blog post I would get to the lunch aisle and ask my body, "What do you feel like having?" and I realised that, more often than not, I wasn't actually that hungry, and sometimes I didn't want a heavy triple sandwich and vanilla/maple smoothie, sometimes I just needed to eat for sustenance, and a lower calorie option would do the trick.
Anyway, I hope it works out for you, I could probably benefit doing it some more myself. :)
10 Apr 15 by member: Lucy_Maria UK
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I was reading your comments and had to say something.
QUIT ASKING YOURSELF IMPOTENT QUESTIONS!
I have been in many NLP Sessions and the brain and subconscious hears "WHY CAN'T YOU DROP THE WEIGHT...."
And it searches for all the reasons that you haven't dropped the weight and hits you subconsciously with things like "Because you are eating way too many things, because you don't exercise, and on and on. What is beating you up is much more on the inside and continues long after you stop saying that. Ask yourself good questions like, "What can I do to lose weight a little faster?" The brain will actually work internally to look for ways to answer this potent question and...it will continue looking for them long after you ask the question; just like the impotent questions you ask yourself, the "Why can't I....
Try it. It may not work right away but it will change you eventually by not beating your subconscious and brain up. You have recorded this groove just like an old vinyl record with the questions you ask yourself. Pretend you are scratching that record and change the groove. I hope you try it and I hope it helps.
10 Apr 15 by member: madanjen
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That's called self-talk and it can seriously work as long as you see it in a positive light. I think it's productive to talk to your body that way. I have a heart valve situation so I have to be good to it. I have talked to my heart as if it's a separate living thing living inside my body that has kept me alive for the 71 years I've been alive. If I see my heart as something that depends on me for nourishment and care, it helps me to really realize that I and my heart need gentle care, not abuse. It makes me hold off on nasty food that won't nourish or maintain my life. So anyway, why not do the same for your whole body? You do what you have to to keep yourself healthy and fit which = alive.
10 Apr 15 by member: Simmdo
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