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24 December 2014

My motivation is still nowhere to be found but I am stubbornly forcing myself to get up, workout, clean up and all those other lovely chores I have been neglecting. I am not really feeling better about myself but in time, this too will pass. One day at a time right? If I can just get through today and have it be a fairly good day...then I can shoot to doing the same tomorrow. Anyhow...enough life crap and back to my weight loss...

I weighed in today and it seems that I have dropped a lot of that excess water weight but I am still doing the averages so I won't fully know what all I have lost until the end of the week. For some reason, Mondays are proving to be a hard day to get motivated at all while Sundays I am pretty it's rather weird. I am just going to continue to push through it though, to workout and eat better. I have found that I am rather addicted to this homemade fried rice I's delicious and its a great way to get in my veggies lol! Now...if only I could start making smoothies and start to get fruit in there...

Well I am off to start my day...or rather try to get as much done this morning as possible because I got up fairly late. @_@

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA

Plank: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

23 December 2014

Woke up with no desire to get up and do anything. My friend gave me the kick up the ass needed to workout today but I don't feel like it's enough. Part of this is most likely stress of finances and holidays and part of me feeling pretty low about myself. I have been trying my best not to do the negative self talk but I have found that voice creeping up on me quite a bit so far. The last couple of nights, I forgot to set my UP to sleep mode so that didn't get recorded. Oh well.

Otherwise, I am somehow hanging in there. The sad thing about the loss of motivation is that it pertains to everything...eating included. Like...I will feel hungry so I get up to look for something...and then suddenly, like I just can't be bothered to make myself something to eat so I end up sitting back down. I keep trying to tell myself that this storm will pass...I can get through this and honestly, I think that is the only thing pulling me through at the moment. I don't include my girls in this because everything I do manage to do is for them along with myself.

I want to be a better role model...I want to be that happy, peppy, upbeat person I used to be. I want these things and when I think I have found it again, it shattered usually halfway through the day. A huge portion of this was caused by my ex (father of my youngest) and what he said about me and my oldest daughter. Being a single parent of two is hard...and I like to think I do the best damned job that I can but yet that is where he chose to attack me. Apparently I am so messed up that my oldest is following suit and turning out just like me. And you know...honestly...maybe I am and I just don't see it. Prior ex bfs have said something similar about me (not my oldest) so...I wonder...what is wrong with me?

I guess I should go and try to at least finish this day strong.

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: So I realized that I need to get better shoes to workout in. Like the Cardio, I need to be up on my toes part of the time so I need that cushioning. I don't have the money to get it of course which sucks. But oh well. At least Cardio allowed me to somewhat clear my head.

Plank: I don't think I passed this 60 second plank. I ended up putting my knees down for a brief couple of seconds when I hit the 30 second mark. I managed to push through the rest of the time though.

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

21 December 2014

Weigh-in: 208.5 lb lost so far: 4.5 lb still to go: 48.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (2 comments) on diet MIT Carson Chow   steady weight

20 December 2014

Um's been...a day. Got woken up early to take my sister to work which sucks because Piper had a rough night so I got 5 hours of broken sleep and driving while incredibly sleepy is...difficult. Aside from that, my confidence and everything that I have been working so hard to build up and repair and everything has been torn to shit. I know it shouldn't bother me...but some of the things that were said hurt on a deeper level and reopened old wounds that has scabbed over.

I don't want to go into too much detail since it would require A LOT of explaining but I am kind of in a bad place mentally right now to where I feel rather...broken. Maybe if I work out it will help assuage this feeling...I don't really know but right now...I'm really low.

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: So today I got a surprise...2 workouts instead of just one like I initially thought! @_@ Cardio and then Lower Focus...ugh. My legs are dead lol!! I pushed myself as hard as I could but was pretty brutal. I did it though and I feel somewhat better now that I did. Not 100% but able to think a little more clearly if that makes sense.

Plank: 45 second planks are such a pain. I did was hard...but I did it. Breathing helped despite the fact that my legs and abs already were in pain so yeah. I endured...I conquered another 45 second plank. :)

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): 5546

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): 10

*Record Everything you Eat: COMPLETE

*Stay in Calorie range: COMPLETE

*Park further away: COMPLETE

19 December 2014

So using the UP, I have come to learn something very interesting...I don't sleep as much as I thought I did. Now, I am not sure just how accurate they are, but this genuinely surprised me. The goal is to sleep at least 8 hours but apparently, I have been getting anywhere from 5 hours and a half to 7 hours. It's strange because for the most part, I am not overly tired or anything, or at least, I don't FEEL that I am. So I just thought it was interesting. My steps have been no where NEAR 10,000 much to my dismay but it is something for me to work at. I have been rather stationary aside from my workout the last couple of weeks but that is because I have been studying for a test that is coming up for a class that I feel ill prepared for. I am going to attempt the preassessment again today and hope that I can pass it.

Today is going to be a fairly low key day. Kaitlin gets out of school early because they are going on break and then, her, my mom, my sister and niece are going to the ballet to see the Nutcracker. Kaitlin is all excited about it which I am glad for. Well, I need to go now and get this day going. :)

EDIT: My sister bought me some pizza...I am proud that I didn't go overboard with it though I do need up my protein instead of consuming so many carbs. It's a long process lol!

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: Ab Intervals was interesting. I suppose I would feel it a bit more if it wasn't for my 16 month old daughter thinking that I make the best climbing structure while working out lol! Yeah...her weight added in to some of those ab workouts made it more difficult but it was not intentional in any way lol! I feel it more in my sides and legs though oddly...or maybe it's one of those hurts that won't show up till tomorrow. ><

Plank: A 45 second plank following ab work is not a good idea!! LOL! I started off shaking but kept telling myself, "I can do knees will not touch the ground!" And you know what? They didn't!! I am pretty proud of that honestly. I am very proud of the core strength that I am building...and hopefully the T25 will shed the fat that hides those wonderful abs! :D

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): 5319

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): 8

*Record Everything you Eat: COMPLETE

*Stay in Calorie range: COMPLETE

*Park further away: INCOMPLETE <--- Pissing down rain and I had my 16 month old with me. I was lucky that there was a spot right in front of the store so I took it.

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