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18 March 2015

Being nice to oneself is extremely difficult since you are your own worst critic but it is such a destructive mindset. I have so brutal to myself that I realize, in a way, I am being verbally abusive to myself and I don't deserve it, just like I didn't deserve it when I went through the abuse with my ex-husband and the last ex. Flat out, I don't deserve it. Everyone stumbles and falls but no one deserves to be kicked while they are down. And I have been doing that to myself. I have been my own worst enemy and it's time that I stop this. I accept myself. I love myself. Each little stumble and fall is a lesson that I need to learn. Each experience is not only a part of my journey but my way of growing as well.

It's easy to beat myself up over my shortcomings and my downfalls but this needs to stop in order for me to succeed. I am taking a stand against myself today and not allow the negative self-talk nor will I tolerate kicking myself while I am down. I am taking a stand against this. I have to…if I want my girls to be strong independent women capable of accomplishing all that they desire, I have to SHOW them what that is. :)

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA

Plank: TBA

Kettlebell: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

16 March 2015

Today has been a rather difficult day honestly. It's that time of the month and I've been cramping really bad and feeling nauseated. It kind of sucks really since it has hampered my day so far. I am still trying to get up the gumption to workout and eat right today. It's really hard actually...but somehow I am managing. Yeah eating popcorn in the mid morning is not that great but I figured it was light enough to not upset my stomach.

I am hoping to be a little more active today but I do need to study hard as well so I have to resort to the whole, walking for 5 minutes when my UP band vibrates. I need to go now...I still need to run errands today as well. ><

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA

Plank: TBA

Yoga: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

15 March 2015

This week has been rough. While I tried to have the best intentions...I fell very short of achieving anything other than gaining more weight. A good part of that weight is water weight though thanks to TOM. I am going to make sure I start working out again regularly for a number of reasons other than losing weight. See, when I was up in Idaho with my Grandpa, I realized that he is as healthy as he is because he listens to his doctor. He's a diabetic and he takes it seriously. He doesn't really indulge in the things he's not supposed to have or anything and he makes sure to get in some form of exercise, in his case, it's bowling. He is 83 and bounces back from major surgery like nothing ever happened.

Now, my sister's father in law (a man I have known for nearly 2 decades so this is very sad) is in his early 60s and is dying. He has a bad heart, had several quadruple bypass surgeries and to top it off, a bad diabetic. He didn't take it seriously. He didn't want to change his lifestyle habits. He was thrilled when they put in an insulin pump because to him, "Now I can eat whatever I want and just adjust the pump." It's sad to see him go...but it's a harsh realization for me that I need to get my stuff under control NOW. I don't want to die prematurely. I want to be that crazy grandmother who can out run her grand kids and live to a ripe old age.

So, given the examples and knowing prior what my doctor has told me, I am going to do this for my girls and take this more seriously. Sometimes it takes reality to come up and smack you upside the head before you begin to listen. I think this was my smack.

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: It was just Stretch today. I feel so much better for doing it honestly. I know that I didn't eat that well at lunch but I honestly didn't have the time to get a properly made lunch. Either way, I am glad I did this.

Plank: 10 second plank. I thought this would be a breeze but it was still challenging in it's own right. I found a different plank challenge that not only included planks but the side planks as well so I am going with that one. :)

Kettlebell: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: COMPLETE
Weigh-in: 209.2 lb lost so far: 3.8 lb still to go: 49.2 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment on diet MIT Carson Chow   gaining 3.8 lb a week

12 March 2015

So trying to get back on the workout schedule has been super difficult. It's driving me crazy because I want to do it...but when it comes time to actually do it, I put it off. Curse you procrastination...actually I don't think that has anything to do with it. I've been trying really hard to get this homework done so I can take a preassessment for this class I am taking. I was supposed to get it done by the end of last month which didn't happen so I am trying to finish it asap so it doesn't put off the rest of my school schedule. I go to school online in case anyone is wondering. @_@

Anyhow, I am determined to get my eating back under control. Focusing on that for the rest of this week and then hopefully Sunday, I can FORCE myself to workout in the mornings and evenings again. I have to take better care of myself and not fall back into those comforting yet unhealthy habits.

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA

Plank: TBA

Yoga: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

11 March 2015

Today is the first day that has felt somewhat normal since the time change. I haven't worked out yet but I still feel rather accomplished. I did manage to get my room cleaned up and the dishes are done. It's not a lot but it still is better than just sitting there in a mood. But yes, I am starting to feel like my normal self now since the time change. Unfortunately, a lot of today will be spent working on homework which means sitting on the computer but every time my UP band vibrates on my wrist, I am going to get up and walk around for like 5 minutes. I think I will be successful in reaching my step goal then if I do that. :)

Anyhow, my positivity has returned along with my motivation so...fingers crossed to keep the momentum going!

Daily Summary
*Focus T25: TBA

Plank: TBA

Kettlebell: TBA

*Steps Taken (Goal-5000): TBA

*# Cups of Water (Goal-14 cups): TBA

*Record Everything you Eat: TBA

*Stay in Calorie range: TBA

*Park further away: TBA

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