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Yesterday I had to do something that was very difficult. It did not necessarily have anything to do with weight loss, other than the old (or maybe not so old) feelings of wanting to binge on an entire pizza to provide myself with superficial comfort flooded back. I am quite sure that I lost a friend yesterday. Not to death, but the feeling was similar. I lost a friend because I realize that I cannot maintain a friendship with someone who is untruthful, especially when it matters the most. I think sometimes that my moral fiber has enveloped my mind so much that I will risk my own safety and security to do what I believe is the right thing. I tell myself that integrity is doing what is right when you have nothing to gain and everything to lose. It doesn't make it any easier though. I may lose my job ultimately over telling the truth. Of course, I'm sure it will not be crouched in that reasoning but when you rock the boat people start to look at you as the unsteady passenger. I fear I will now be put under a microscope to reveal all of my flaws. I am sure I have many. Dishonesty was not one of those flaws however. And, in my own personal convictions to be always honest and maintain integrity, I have jeopardized myself. This is a hard position to be in. I do not want to put financial stress on my family. I don't want to fall into depression or despair only to find myself in a fast food drive thru. I think I will just cry a little bit and work on my resume.
Diet Calendar Entries for 10 October 2013:
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957 kcal
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Fat: 32.88g | Prot: 50.45g | Carb: 115.64g.
Breakfast: Muller Greek Corner Lowfat Yogurt with Caramelized Almonds. Lunch: Lean Cuisine Culinary Collection Wood Fire Style Margherita Pizza. Dinner: Corn, Sugar, Kraft Fat Free Mayonnaise, Carrots, Cabbage, Shoulder Pork Roast, Mission Carb Balance Flour Tortillas, Gatorade G2 Thirst Quencher - Lemon-Lime. more...
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2399 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 37 minutes, Sleeping - 23 hours and 23 minutes. more...
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 Comments
I have to believe unless it was the owner of the company you can't be alone in your professional and personal integrity. Now is the time to reassure yourself that what you did was right even if there are consequences. Displaying that behavior will serve you when the questions or allegations begin. You did well. I had a similar imbalance myself the other day and I think it cost me some points on reputation. Can't undo it, can't unring the bell. All we can do is continue onward with the confidence that we did the thing we truly thought was right at the time we did it. Pizza won't solve that but I understand; I felt it yesterday and grazed all day on chicken & dumplings.
10 Oct 13 by member: FullaBella
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Pizza aside, you did the right thing and in the end that is what matters. You have to be true to who you are because you are the one who has to live with yourself the rest of your days. Not following your moral code is something that weighs on you, far heavier than pizza. It feels bad now but when you come through the emotional aspect of it, you will have the pride of knowing that when it was difficult, you held true.
10 Oct 13 by member: Whattawoman79
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Have yourself a good cry. Sometimes that is a good way to release those emotions and make you feel better. Work on that resume, and don't worry about your job. Think of it this way, if they release you, they weren't the employers you wanted to work for anyway! Never compromise on your morals, and being honest is a great trait in an employee. I also understand that wanting to eat to sooth yourself feeling. I got a little PO'd at my hubby the other day, and almost gave in to "revenge" eating!!! Then I realized that it wouldn't mean diddly to the hubby, but it would surely make me feel guilty that I did that!! Be proud of your integrity and morals and honesty!! More people need to be that way!! I've lost "friends" that way too, and I look back and realize they weren't really friends at all, just merely passing acquaintances! Sending you an electric (((hug))), and hope you feel better!!
10 Oct 13 by member: pumakitten
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Thank you all for the supportive words. I did eat an entire lean cuisine pizza for lunch yesterday, but managed to control the rest of my emotional eating. I don't know what will happen with my job. I suppose I am just going to have to wait and see. I can't undo anything. Last night, I slept well. And, I'm not so sure that would have been the case if I had been dishonest and feigned amnesia.
11 Oct 13 by member: 2ManyCurves
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Good for you Curves, a lean cuisine pizza was the perfect solution!
11 Oct 13 by member: Whattawoman79
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