tina10915's Journal, 11 January 2013

Okay so today I went to Walmart to buy a few things and had to drive past a few of my favorite fast food places. As I have said in the past, I am a binge eater. If you're not sure, that means I can eat quite a bit of food and fast food places talk to me. My brain instantly goes to, "how much food can I get with the littlest amount of money?" I need more than will power to pass these places and not buy food from there. I am a stress eater so knowing that I have not been on a binge in 2 weeks and knowing that I am a single mom trying to make ends meet every day. I talked myself out of eating at any of the places I wanted to go. I am having steak and salad for dinner tonight and I now have to control that since I didn't eat out. Everyday this is a struggle and taking one day at a time is really necessary to get through. I can and I will do this. I hear myself saying, "one day of a splurge is not bad. It's only one time." That one time reminds me of an alcoholic. They are only going to have 1 beer tonight. One turns into 4 which turns into 8. I can't do this to myself anymore. I will get clean and straight with my food and use it to keep myself alive and not allow the food to control me.