ppphhhttt's Journal

*incredulous, angry, exasperated, stuffed-up voice* OMG! Now my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet. Where the hell did all this come from? I've been taking antibiotics for over 2 freakin weeks and now I have a head cold or whatever this is?!?! I am so sick of being sick!! >:-[

This started yesterday about an hour after I got to work. I'm sneezing, blowing my nose, using my neti pot (love my neti pot), have a headache that keeps moving like everything else in my sinuses. *whining voice* I don't wanna be sick anymore!!!

I don't think I'll be able to workout this morning at Swing. Gggrrr!! But I am eating gluten free at PF Chang's tonight w/my friend. I could use someone else waiting on me and not having to plan/cook something. I have a free chicken lettuce wrap appetizer coming cause I joined their diners club. Something with chicken for dinner. fried rice, spicy chicken, ginger chicken or beef w/broccoli, or mongolian beef maybe. Hmm....

Breakfast is the same, but less and steamed peppers, onions and potatoes since I'm sure dinner will have more fat than I usually have. Lunch will be the same today and snacks too...except omitting the pecans because of expected fat in dinner.

Have a great day everyone!

Breakfast - potato, onions, peppers, ham, egg, cheese, coconut oil, smoked paprika, garlic, real salt, pepper

Lunch- salad of romaine/spinach, peppers, onions, cucumbers, 1 1/4 slices bacon. Dressing - avocado, greek yogurt, lemon juice, garlic, dill, parsley.

Snacks - 2 c red grapes, banana, 15 g raw pecan...oh yeah, and 2 of the GF pumpkin cinnamon muffins I made last night (that was my dinner last night-eek!) Muffins pic.

Dinner - dunno yet.

Feeling a little bummed today, but trying not to let it get to me. The headache I had since Sunday afternoon is turning into a sinus clogged head that's starting to drain and a mildly sore throat. I don't know if I'm still sick, a different kind of sick or just a victim of the changing weather. On top of that, I'm back up 3 on the scale.

I know I don't eat the best that I can. I struggle with getting veggies in unless it's in a salad. It is hard to cook for just one because I get bored with my food. After I eat something for 3 days, I'm done with it unless it's something I really like and then after 5 or 6 days...I don't want it again for months. UGH! I also mentally struggle with the fact that whenever I veer from a good pattern of eating, I immediately see the consequences. No more sliding by with a little bit of bad eating here and there. Those days are gone and damn it, I'm mad about it! Is it the hypothyroidism? I've read it does make losing weight a slower battle. It is my age? As we get older, our metabolism slows down. Is it my stress? This will throw a wrench in anything. Are my activity levels too low? When I started at Swing, I was going 3-4x a week by using a monthly membership. Now I go 2x by way of classes that are more intensive than what I would do on my own. So I think that balances out. Though I do have equipment at home-bells, ab roller, balance balls, medicine ball, bands, etc. I need to step it up with my exercise, I suppose. Hard when it's cold to get moving.

I am looking forward to some activities with friends this week. Taking my friend out for dinner tomorrow night to thank her for cat-sitting while I was away. Going to PF Changs. They have a gluten free menu. YAY! Then Thursday night, a friend from where I used to work (remember job 2?) asked me if I wanted to meet him at the track. He has a thing for betting on horses...no addiction, but he likes his horses! HAHA! Really looking forward to seeing him, I miss his humor. And both of these days, I will be working out in the morning. Wed at Swing (9 am) and Thurs with my girlfriends (at 7 am...OMG!).

My first day of working 2nd shift was nice. I got a lot of errands done before work and didn't feel rushed getting there like I usually do which sets the pace for most of my day. Instead I felt relaxed. Maybe this will be a really good thing for me by ridding myself of some stress I hadn't realized from feeling rushed!

OK, I'm getting chatty again. Time to step away. HAHA! Hope you all have a wonderful day!

"Time is not a line, but a series of now points." —Taisen Deshimaru

Just got back from today's kettlebell workout. I feel great...even if I'm exhausted! Gonna shower and get started on laundry. Maybe I'll take a nap too. I am tired...and hungry too. Maybe eat, shower, start laundry, nap, finish laundry, roast pumpkins, make something w/said pumpkins and then grill happy cow burgers for dinner. Sounds like a plan! OH!! And watch the Bengals today. I think we're at Washington 1pm. The nap can wait. :-)

Hope everyone has a great Sunday and that your football team wins...unless, of course, they're the Redskins! ;-)

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Yay Bengals! So I took a nap during the game and I am still super tired. Like don't care if I eat later or what I prepare for tomorrow. I know that's not good. But....I will have time before work tomorrow because I go in at 11 now, not 8. So I will make a salad or something for my lunch. Know what sounds good? Tomato soup. Mmmm!! I know I don't have any. I could hop in the car, but just for some canned soup? Crazy. Now, if I had a bike...I could ride to the store that is only 1/2 a mile from me. I could walk I guess, but I don't like to walk alone. My area isn't 'bad' but I have issues and won't walk alone. Especially since if anything did happen, I couldn't run cause of my leg. I dunno. Maybe I will walk to the store. Hmmm.

Started today with a great outlook on the day with great possibilities. I had decided yesterday to go through the mass that surrounds my tv in the living room (that I don't watch) and sell of the CDs, DVDs and books I'm not going to use anymore. The ones that have been sitting there gathering dust. I had no issue getting rid of the CDs cause I use spottily for my musical needs and my taste has changed since that small collection was bought. Done. I had some issues with the movies, cause I really love the 2-3 dozen I have...though I don't watch them. Why? Cause my DVD player or it's cable were acting wonky a while back and I tried to mess with it and gave up. So I don't watch DVD on the tv because I can't. So I decided to fix that while I took out my cable box because it sucks and I am now using the money for Spotify. Anyway, got stuff ready to go in bags to take to used book/movie/music store then got involved with tv hookups. OMG...I hate these things. I could figure it out, if I felt like reading all the different books (I've done it before), but I didn't feel like it. In fact, after messing with it, I felt deflated, defeated and depressed. Damn! All I want to do is watch my DVDs and football games on the tv using my digital box...but now I need an antenna. Double damn!!

Then my mom needed something front the store. I got it, took it to her and felt VERY overwhelmed in her house like I usually do because there is soooo much stuff. You can't move in her house. It sucks every bit of energy out of me to do anything for her in that house. So I came home and laid on the sofa all day reading my ebook. I accomplished very little and now have so much to do tomorrow. This is why I hate going to see my mom. Her and the house are energy vampires. UGH.

I feel like my day got away from me and I feel like I'm running behind. Tomorrow hasn't gotten her and yet I feel like it's kicked my ass already because I know all that I have to do.

I also found an unmarked CD by my tv. Popped it in the computer and it was all the pics my dad had on old floppy discs that I transferred over so I could have them. So I've been crying some today also. I really miss my dad. It's been 7 1/2 years since he passed away and I can't think of him without crying still. Next month is his b-day, my mom's b-day and their anniversary. My mom gets very difficult to deal with because she gets mean with everyone instead of talking about her feelings. I know what's coming and I really don't want to deal with it.

I'm going to try and focus on my continuing changes and that fact that she is hurting and to let it go...even if she hurts me in the process, because she is oblivious to everyone else and their feelings around her most of the time.

Did I mention PMS/TOM too? Yeah, that's got my head and emotions effed up right now. I know this, yet I can't change the 'sad' I feel because of it. I do have so much to look forward to this week....workout tomorrow, starting my 2nd shift this coming week at 11 instead of 4pm, my workout on Wednesday (which will now be mornings), working out with my girlfriends Thursday morning in the park, finally getting over being sick (I am feeling a lot better)...but I am still stuck in this depressive, sad place today that just wants to quit. I'm not eating a bunch of crap. I'm not being self-destructive like I would have in the past. But I feel like there's no hope. I know tomorrow will be better. But what is triggering these feelings? The season's shortening days, my mom's depressive living situation, my PMS, my being lonely? *sigh* Sorry, I don't know where all that poured out from but that's how I feel right now.

I can't wait to get all the crap that I'm getting rid out out of my house. Because now, instead of it sitting in closets and against wall collecting dust, it's in the way and I'm tripping over it, wishing it gone.

"This body, full of faults, has yet one great quality: Whatever it encounters in this temporal life depends upon one's actions. —Nagarjuna

"When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways–either by losing hope an dfalling tino self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength. —Dalai Lama