ohiogirl63's Journal

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14 March 2015

Weigh-in: 187.2 lb

lost so far: 12.8 lb

still to go: 87.2 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 1.8 lb a week

21 February 2015

I don't really know how this happened. I just ate normal food. We went out to eat a few days this past week. Maybe it just happened. I look for it to be back up through the week tho. It was interesting to see such a drop.

Still need to see a Dr. about pain and other things going on with pouch. Hope hubby will call and get appointment for me as soon as possible. So if I can have surgery it is done pronto.

Hope everyone has a nice week.

Weigh-in: 192.6 lb

lost so far: 7.4 lb

still to go: 92.6 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 4.8 lb a week

20 February 2015

I struggle with so many things these days. So many questions and so much that is not clear in my head. I'm trying to get it all straight so I can do this right for the rest of my life. Healthy, happy and at a reasonable weight to live a life.

I'm questioning if I made a mistake whey I ordered the 5 Day Pouch Test books. I am wondering if going through the Bariatric Support Centers International would be better support. I attended a telephone conference yesterday. It was helpful. It was supportive. It got me to think about some things.

I looked at some videos. Some were good. Others gave me information that was different than what I had with my surgeon. So I need to forget it. Stick with what the steps were from my surgeon.

I really need to get an appointment to find out what, if anything is wrong. I still have stomach pain, even when I drink water. Seems like ulcer symptoms. I may be wishful thinking so I can hope to have a revision. I seems I think about that so much. I need something really drastic to get me back in the frame of things to get on the track I was on before.

I am going to try very hard to up my exercise. I might end up being sore for a few days, but I really think I can push, push, push. Get right into burning that fat and building that muscle.

Has anyone out there ever tried any of the burn fat water mixtures? Like the cranberry juice and water or sliced fruits and water? I was wondering if you thought they helped in any way. And what ways you personally felt a difference. I know everyone is different. Just would like your feeling of your personal experience with such things. Thank you in advance for any experiences.

Weigh in is tomorrow. Hope it is not too much of a gain. I will not get down about it. I know I have not followed things even close to the way I should. I have to keep telling myself that. Don't expect a great positive. But if I don't gain. That will be a positive. Might even be considered a great positive.

Trying to have protein shakes for most meals. Fill in with clear and full liquids. By the end of the day yesterday I was feeling deprived. So DH came home and took me to eat. Ate some chicken. Had sauce on boneless chicken wings. I'm sure it had way too much sugar in the sauce. Ate only a few. Then topped it off with a Frappe from McDonald's. That was stupid and once again caused a spike in my heart rate. It was uncomfortable. Why do I insist on getting those stupid things????!!!

So today starts fresh again. Let's see if I can make it through today. I had a protein shake with crystal light at 3:30 this morning. And a cup of decaf green tea with 2 splenda. Need to drink a LOT more water. I think that was my main problem yesterday.

One thing mentioned in the meeting yesterday was get rid of old stuff. Get rid of clothes you can no longer wear. Get rid of meds you no longer have to take. Perfume you don't like. Shoes that hurt your feet. Makeup that doesn't look right on you anymore. See yourself differently. Stop looking at yourself as the person you were when you started this journey/adventure. You are not that person. Whatever the steps were that we took to begin. Those steps made us a different person immediately.

Since my highest weight, I've lost 138 lbs. Since my gastric bypass I've lost and kept off 79 lbs. But I still see myself as that 335 pound person. Still see myself as that 276 pound person. Either that or I see a freak looking back from the mirror. Because I don't know who she is. Something has got to give. Something has to change.

I'm still going to keep my goal of losing 97 pounds by the first week in January 2016. With trying to put in effort to lose fat and build muscle maybe I can make it a goal to just fit into certain clothes. Maybe my goal won't be to weight a particular amount.

Boy, Val, a lot of rambling on. Hope thing are able to get more focused. Make sure to look back on these from time to time to see if there is improvement.

I hope everyone has a nice Friday and on into the weekend. And thanks for listening.

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19 February 2015

Wasted almost 3 weeks. Gained 3 pounds back. Thought I was going to give up. Want to go to see the surgeon to see if there is a problem with my pouch. It seems like I might have ulcer symptoms.

I was ranting yet again about how I didn't eat anything and exercised 2 or 3 hours everyday. And that I only lost 2 pounds a week from all that effort. Eating liquids. Trying to feel the pouch restriction. And my DH, listening so patiently again. Just says maybe all the exercise let you build muscle and that's why you didn't lose more. He just talked about it over and over again. For days I would rant and for days he would try to reason with me. I guess he finally got through. I woke up and decided to try again. To try to love myself. To try to enjoy the fact that any progress is progress. That I have to take baby steps. Leaps are nice but they don't make for health and steady progress.

I still want to go in and see if I can get a revision on my surgery. It still feels like there is something wrong. But I'm going to go a baby step at a time. Make sure that I get all my protein in. Exercise mucho much. Not vigorously. I will be walking. Trying for the 10,000 steps a day. A little bit of the Wii. And mostly on the gazelle. Nice for my knees.

I still hope for so much more.

We are talking about going to the support meetings in Charlotte. They are free for me to attend. It might be hard. I don't feel I can go by myself and they are at 6pm. John would have to get off work early. But he said he might be able to do that since it is only 2 days a month. Maybe they can help me come up with a proper eating plan that I can write out and use to program myself. So I can remember things better.

Reading some material has helped to put a few things in my head. How long they will stay there? Who knows!

I have to not feel guilty about putting me first. John said he wants me to. But I think I'm being selfish. He says he doesn't agree with me. He doesn't agree with most of my negative rantings.

So step one is in the works today. So far, so good. Just a few days for my new weigh in. See how it goes.

I started back on liquids. Plan to be on them for two weeks. Then who knows because I'm going to stay with a friend for a week. I will try to not undo my progress. Weigh foods. Eat protein. Have to live the life for the rest of my life.

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14 February 2015

Lost my focus. Got to feeling like I can't figure this thing out. Just want to go and see if there is a problem with my pouch again. Think it might have something wrong.

Or maybe it is just my head. Not able to figure out what I should do. Seems like eating the liquids isn't even doing all that well.

The DH says you lost a little over 2 pounds a week! I got highly upset. 2 pounds a week???!! Eating liquids and full liquids and exercising 2 or 3 hours a day??!! REally?? That seems a bit much for the results.

So now I'm in give up mode again. Still hoping for a quick clean up in the back room for exercise. Not really happening. But one can hope. :D

Hope everyone is having a better mind battle than I am.

Have a nice week.

Weigh-in: 197.4 lb

lost so far: 2.6 lb

still to go: 97.4 lb

Diet followed poorly

add comment gaining 0.6 lb a week

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