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04 January 2019

I'm starting fresh in 2019; stripping away the self-judgment and unrealistic expectations. I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life and have struggled with eating disorders since I was 14 - anorexia, bulemia, bingeing, orthorexia. I've struggled with eating healthy without becoming obsessive about counting calories and weighing myself daily. The past few years, ive gone in the other direction to try to break the pattern of calorie-counting and letting myself eat whatever I want. I've put on 50 pounds in 3 years, and I was already about 15 pounds overweight then.

This year, I'm so much more centered and grounded. I'm not comparing myself to what I used to be able to do (at the gym), or how fit I used to be. I'm starting with a clean slate, as if this is the first time I've embarked on this journey. I'm not counting calories, but focused on eating whole foods and my faith to be healthy. I have 70 pounds I want to lose, and I plan to hit my goal weight by this time next year. It took me time to put the weight on, it's going to take time to take it off.

I want to be gentle with myself every step of the way and love myself for who I am now, while simultaneously working towards a healthier me.

04 January 2019

Weigh-in: 216.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 71.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well

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