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Cbreeze's Journal

 
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01 March 2011

28 February 2011

I've decided, just for giggles, to see what happens if I don't log my food. I've found that I've become obsessed with tracking and logging and weighing and measuring and reading and journaling and message boards and recipe sites and blogs....pshew.....so obsessed with these things that I'm spending way too much time with a computer on my lap. I rationalized it by telling myself that since I don't have a job that I'm going to spend all the time I would normally spend working on working on myself. The result? I'm kinda boring. It's time to get out and meet some people, see some sights, enjoy my surroundings, catch up with old friends....

Speaking of old friends. A great girlfriend of mine was down from St Louis for the weekend with her husband for a visit to a family member of hers that lives about 30 minutes away. My husband and I met up with them at the horse track and had a marvelous time. I had a single light beer (blech--I like my beer flavorful, not watered) so I switched to red wine and had at least 3 or 4 glasses. Totally regretted the headache the next morning but no regrets whatsoever sitting in the track bar and betting on horses and catching up over drinks.

Other than that my eating has stayed pretty much on plan. My husband and I did go out last night and I had crabcakes, which I was assured by the manager, only had a pinch of panko in them. I wasn't going to get them and go with a steak instead, but I really, really, really wanted them so I got them and savored every single delicious bite. No wine though. Just plain old iced tea and a decaf coffee for dessert.

So back to the first thought. I'm going to see what happens this week if I just "wing it". I'm pretty good eyeballing measurements and I'll still read labels and stay under 20 g of carbs, but I've got to do something else for myself besides obsessing with this little machine sitting on my lap.

25 February 2011

Type B personality. Yep, that's me. Most of the time I'm pretty happy about it. I have little stress. Things roll off my back like water off a duck. I can roll with the punches. Whatever other cliche there is out there for being laid back probably fits me. Yes, I do get frustrated and lose my temper from time to time. That's true, but it happens quickly and disappears just as quickly. I find it hard to hold a grudge or stay angry no matter how hard I try. I just can't and believe me I've tried. I am a big fan of Schadenfreude though it makes me feel a tick guilty. I think the only thing that goes against type is that I'm very punctual and usually early and cannot stand lateness in myself or others. It's probably my biggest peeve.
What am I getting at with all this rambling? I do not have any competitiveness. I probably shouldn't say I don't have any, but I don't have much. I do get a little jealous of others who are doing better than me in any facet of life, including weight loss and fitness, but I get over it quickly and become happy for whomever it may be. But the lack of competitiveness isn't doing me any favors. I can't even challenge myself to hitting goals. If I don't hit them, well, eh, no big deal. I think it makes me not want good things for myself.
So, my lovelies, how to I learn to be competitive if my brain is just not wired for it???

24 February 2011

I managed to jog for 4 minutes of my walk today. I hate running. I hate the way it makes my brain and boobs all bouncy and the force I can feel all the way up into my hips. I hate it. But I've been walking forever without much in the way of results so I'm trying to incorporate jogging into my walks and I'm determined I'll learn to love it. Maybe after I get some more supportive sports bras and new shoes. Preferably with springs in them. I have stopped being so achy since I've gone LC so my knees didn't hurt like they would have pre LC so that's good. As a matter of fact I felt so good walking/jogging today I went a little farther than I normally would have and ended up here:


which is about 3 miles from where I started. So that meant a 3 mile walk back. Oops. Oh well, it was a beautiful day so it was a nice 6 miles regardless of being hot, sweaty, thirsty and needing to pee.
I had finished an hour of Callanetics prior to my walk and some light weights for my upper body. Now, I'm tired, hungry and need a shower.
Really, how do people who have very little spare time do this kind of stuff? I'm exhausted and I do nothing but this and cook and straighten up all day.
Oh, and I also saw a car with a license plate that says C-BREZE so I had to snap a pic to use as my new avatar. It isn't my car and I'm not from New Hampshire, but they do have a kick ass state motto.
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24 February 2011

That Karma thing I was talking about yesterday seemed to stick with me all day. When I finally finished doing everything I had to do I couldn't log in my food journal or actually do anything on FS so I gave up and went to bed. I didn't even get to read through journals which is my favorite thing to do. It seems things are working better this morning. Maybe I reset my Karma overnight.
Before that though, the kitchen sink stopped up so my miracle working husband tried his magic on it and he couldn't get it fixed. Plunging, snaking and drano failed to work so I guess we're going to have to get a plumber in. Hubs said whatever is causing the problem is pretty far down the drain behind the wall. It's a double sink, luckily, and the other side is draining just fine. In a little while I'm going to attempt to run the dishwasher and hopefully that doesn't end up all over the floor. But if it does, then voila, clean floor. So really it would be a win/win (right?) I suppose I should call the landlords, but I won't. They didn't back up the sink so there's no reason to make them deal with the situation. I'm not even sure they're still here. They may have gone back to Alberta by now, but I think that would be craziness and they really seem pretty sane. They are such a sweet couple. When they came back to Florida after Christmas they brought us a giant bag of Coffee Crisp candy bars. We were addicted to them over the summer while living in Dawson City and when we got back we looked everywhere for them and actually found them for $4 a pop at this little convenience store in our neighborhood that caters to the Quebecois who winter here. There are still a few left in the freezer which neither I nor my husband has touched or even had the desire to. I'm keeping them there to show them I am stronger than they are.

Today is one month since I've been LC-ing. Looking over at my weight history chart it seems to have flat lined which is also how it feels. I honestly thought I'd be down at least 15 pounds by now, but I have not lost any more than the initial weight. At the time it seemed really motivating, but now it just seems like a cruel trick. Looking back it made me really happy, but I think it would have been easier on my psyche if it had been a more gradual loss. I have lowered my carbs even further thinking it would help but obviously it hasn't yet. I'm going to stick with it for awhile and see what happens. I've researched it a fair amount and it seems like that course of action is what gets things moving again.
I've always been stubborn in personality and it appears that's true for physically as well.

Things I'm grateful for today:
All of the usual stuff I'm trying not to take for granted like my health and the weather and seeing the ocean first thing every morning when I get up.

Things I'm not grateful for today:
Nothing. I'm scared of Karma.

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