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Weight History
showing entries 16 to 20 of 189
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24 September 2011
Ate a brownie and excessively tasted dinner as I was cooking it. I was starving yesterday. No clue why. I ate what I normally did. Sucks. But, I'm gonna try better today. No cheating. And if I do...at least log it! I hate that I did it, but there is no changing what happened right? No I shouldn't wallow in self pity and I'm not going to.
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22 September 2011
Yesterday was such a wonderful day! And no, I'm not being sarcastic! lol. The wheather was beautiful and I was energized practically the entire day. About 20 min after I got up I did the dishes, gave Weasely a bath, and updated our checking account. Then I got dressed. Now, that last part doesn't really sound like a big deal, right? Big whoop, you got dressed. For me it is a big deal. I usually stay in my pj's all day unless I have to go outside for errands or something. I don't know why. Well...that's not really true. I like being in pj's cause they are comfortable and they hide how big I really am. It's like being in a mumu without actually have to buy one. I'm trying to get out of that mindset and it's not easy. I just don't like people seeing how big I really am. I decided last week that I needed to work on my self esteem and self worth just as much as getting healthy. Step one is to get dressed every day. doesn't sound like much, but for me it's a big step. Get dressed, brush my hair...all that jazz that I normally don't do unless I have to get up and run around for a bit. Not a pretty image I know.
I have started to notice some postivie things though. There are two single straight guys in our group, Cory and BT. And when they were over here on Sunday I caught them both checking out my ass. lol!!! That's when I realized something...I now HAVE an ass!! It's not just a flat (albeit bumpy) board back there anymore. HURRAY!! And, since I've started getting dressed and such everyday, it seems to have renewed Michael's interest in me too. Not just bedroom stuff (although being over that particular dry spot is nice) but he's flirting with me again, and all that stuff that you do when you're first dating and stuff. I'm not gonna question it. I'm just gonna accept it! And, that is helping to boost my self esteem and such because my husband finds me disierable (sp?) again. Baby steps.....it's all about the baby steps.
It also doesn't hurt that that I'm still riding a bit high from grandpa telling me how great I looked on Tuesday!! lol
Have a good day everyone!
(5 comments)
22 September 2011
Weigh-in:
335.0 lb
lost so far:
43.0 lb
still to go:
157.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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gaining 0.0 lb a week
21 September 2011
Yesterday my mom and I drove out to see grandpa again. Abbie didn't show. Not a big surprise there. I'm not even angry when she does stuff like this. I half expect it. I'm just disappointed.
Anyway, he seemed alot better. He wasn't scared that he was in a nursing home anymore. He understood, which is a big achievement in my mind. He sounded and looked alot more like my grandpa and that made me happy. He even complained that they weren't letting him lay down and rest and I told him that was a good thing. He needs to get up and moving so that he can get out of there. He was joking and talking and generally being awesome. The highlight of my day was when he woke up from a nap, looked right at me, and told me that I was looking great! I'm still riding high from that. He hasn't really seen me since I started noticably losing weight. Kelly and I are gonna try to get down there again next Friday. Hopefully we can make it and he will be even better!
(1 comment)
19 September 2011
My ferret decided it would be fun to walk on my keyboard and delete my journal right before I saved it...so this might be a bit disjointed. Sorry.
I didn't fall off the edge of the world, although I kinda wish that I had. Last week my 95 year old grandfather fell. He fell pulling weeds out of the bushes of his house. Yeah. Up until that point he was living by hiself and everything. Completely independant. He was in the hospital up until Friday, when he was moved to a rehab place near my uncle's house. On Friday, my sister kelly, her kids, my mom, and I went there in my Vue. He lives in Shawnee KS, we live in St. Louis MO. 4 hour drive. sucks. He fractured his pelvic bone, brusied one rib, and broke another one. On top of that he has a bladder infection. That first day he was so hopped up on painkillers I really doubt that he knew we were there. Saturday night though, he was more with it. He knew who we were. He was scared that we were lieing to him though. He though we had put him in a nursing home. He's not in a nursing home, he's in a rehab place that will help him learn how to walk and stuff like that again without hurting himself. He started rehab today (monday). My other sister Abbie, mom, and I are gonna go see him again on Tuesday.
So, because of all of that, my food has been off this weekend. I highly doubt that I'm still at 334. Prob in the late 340's again. My pants are still loose and I'm taking comfort in that right now. I know I should weigh myself to see where I'm at, but I'm not gonna. And you can't make me! (lol) Partly it's because the scale and I have never been friends and I'm scared of what it will tell me, partly because I wanna get my routine back and get back on track for a bit. Taking a page from Pixie's book on that one. I'll weigh myself when I 'm good and ready thank you very much.
Question for you guys though. Michael is working more and more nights, and I'm looking for crockpot reciepes other than the ones that I've got. I usually make chicken fajitas or bbq ribs\chicken. I don't like stews or soups or pork. I know...narrowing down the field. But, with crockpot food, it'll stay warm so I can eat at 7 and he can eat at 10 and it still tastes good.
(2 comments)
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