BekkaL85's Journal

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13 October 2011

*sings* where did all my buddies goooooooo

It seems like more and more of you are switched to MFP. I'm happy that you're finding something that works for you. I truly am, even though that sounds like my usual sarcastic self. If it works for you do it.

It does make me a bit sad though. I've tried MFP. At the time, I didn't like it. And it didn't have an app on for my droid either. That's what made me pick FS. Makes life easier on me. :) And anything that makes this easier....well....I'm ALL for it.

I miss some of you though. Even though we never really "met" in the real world, I felt like I got to know you here. Sad to see you go.... I feel like I've lost alot of really good friends.

On to topics that I can actually control!

Does anybody else drink coffee? And if you do, does it fill you up like it does me? I used to like coffee just because it would wake me up and warm me up. Now I like it because I feel full. What a wonderful feeling to have!
Not much in the house to eat right now...we don't get our food stamp refill for about 10 more days or so. It's ok though, because we have enough protien to last us until then. It's just side items that we lack.
Our Halloween party is in 16 days and that makes me a happy panda! It's not just the food, although I DO enjoy my "free" days! It's having everybody here. I love it. The kids will be here, and so will all the "big kids". I refuse to call any of us grown ups! Not to mention that Halloween is the BEST holiday in the universe. Sure, you don't get presents...but it's an entire day dedicated to giving me candy! How can you go wrong with that?! lol
I truly am looking forward to my free day though. How could I NOT be? I'm in charge of desserts and the becki pizza. Oh yeah...it's so good that they named it after me! lol I'm doing Rice Crispy treats and brownie pizzas for the dessert. Then two homemade pepperoni pizzas and two bacon ones too. I am gonna make some califlower casserole too. I LOVE it. It's so big that I can't really make it all the time. Just thinking about it makes me happy. :)

I need to start moving around more. I think I'll go walking today. The weather has gotten nice again. Not to hot, not to cold. Yest another reason to love fall! It's just hard to get motivated to move. I LIKE being a homebody. And I LIKE being a couch potato. But I do know that I have to move more than I consume for this to work. And I do know that I'm gonna plateau soon if I DON'T start moving soon. Really don't want that.

Dinner tonight is crockpot ranch chicken with onions. yummy! Now....to find a side for it........

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11 October 2011

Today was odd. Abbie NEVER calls me, but she did this morning. At. 8:30. In. The. Morning. Not cool. Normally I wake up anywhere from 9 to 9:30. Getting up any eariler than I'm used to seriously messes with my eating schedule. I get hungrier earlier, because I'm up earlier. Then I have an early dinner...then I'm hungry at night. Not cool. She wanted help running errends, and all I heard was her woe is me story.

She did say that I was looking good though, and that did make me feel a little awesome. She had graves diesease when she was younger and doesn't have a thyroid. As a result, she's always been skinny. And she looks down on me alot. I'm younger by 10 years, so she still sees me as the 8 year old that she left when she moved to the east coast. I did tell her about you guys, because I seriously don't think that I could get this far without all of you.

I did have an awefull migrane last night. It was in the front of my head and was messing with my vision. Headaches scare me because I went to the hospital for a headache that I had for three months and came out with high blood pressure. Hadn't had any headaches (except hunger ones! lol) since then. I did do alot of thinking yesterday though. I think that I thought myself into a headache and then scared myself into a migrane. The thinking was a lot of personal stuff that went into my personal written journal. Not stuff suitable to roam on the internet for all of eternity.

I had the WORST craving for chicken salad today. I decided to grant my wish. Pretty high on the calories and fat, because I was out of low fat mayo and used regular. But, I'm still (slightly) under my calorie goal and my craving has been assuged. YAY! And I have leftovers for tomorrow. Double yay!!

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10 October 2011

I'm fairly proud of myself lately.

I've been eating better, and feeling better. Down to 333, which is only 34 pounds until I hit the 200's. This makes me a very proud panda! I'm hoping to hit that particular goal before I go into the doctor's office in Jan.

A couple of days ago, Michael and I re-arranged our bedroom around. I moved furniture (with a hovering Michael in case my back gave out) and vaccummed and everything. That night we went to a bonfire at CC and Cassie's house. And (I'm not proud of this one!) I got kinda drunk. It was fun, at the time. I don't get hangovers, thank god, but it always takes a couple of days for me to feel like normal again. Today I'm back to normalcy.

Grandpa is doing SO much better. My mom, Kelly and her kids, and I are gonna go see him this weekend.

Our Halloween party is in 19 days! YAY! I love our parties and such, but I'm even more excited that Halloween is actually coming. My favorite holiday. Even the wheather starts to feel like magic and fire and all things that are fall.

I think that's why I'm in such a good mood actually. It's why I can handle this diet so easily right now. Because even though summer is trying its hardest to hang on, fall is fighting hard. Fall just gives me more energy. I know that it's probably just all in my head...but whatever helps, right?

I'm fitting better in the shower too. I don't hit the curtian when I turn around anymore. And I'm finding that I'm much more limber too. I like to sit curled up on myself..it's been that way for as long as I can rememeber. But before I had to constantly re-arrange myself because I would start to hurt. Not so much anymore! I can curl up to my hearts content on the bed and the sofa. Chairs are still a bit of a difficulty, but at least the sofa and the bed are better.

I feel like I'm almost at my goal to be able to go up the stairs and not be panting when I get to the top. I still do a little bit of heavy breathing..but I figure that will go away in 2 or 3 pounds or so.

Tonight is BBQ boneless beef ribs with bbq sauce, and onions and peppers. They are all in the crock pot right now. YUMMY! I accidently spilled a little bit to much red pepper flakes in it though. That will make Michael a very happy panda. I'll deal. Just gotta remind myself that hot\spicy foods make you feel like your full faster, not to mention the fact that hot\spicy foods are good for your metablism!

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06 October 2011

Well, I'm down to 333, which is good. I'm very proud of that fact if you wanna know the truth. I'm almost completely outta my funk and that makes me even happier. Well....makes Michael happier than it makes me! lol

It's getting easider to deal with again, and that's a good thing. I'm not hating getting up in the morning...and I'm talking to people again.
What's awesome is that when I take a bath (I fricking LOVE taking baths) when I sit down I don't touch the sides anymore. It's not a cramped feeling, just a close cuddly feeling. Awesome. Nefertiti (our pure black cat) can sit on my thigh when I'm sitting on the couch with the coffee table pulled up. We both enjoy that. :)

When I walk up the stairs, instead of sweating and gasping for air, I just breath a little bit heavier. Can't tell if that's from the smoking or from the weight.

Got enough energy to work on my cross stitch again. And, I feel like cooking again. It's not much of a chore right now. Part of that is the improving attitude, and part of it is the fact that it's fall. I love fall. My favorite season.

I'm letting Weasel-lee Pete outta his cage every day again. He really enjoys that.

I'm also writing again. When I get like this Michael and I joke around that "the voices" are talking. They kinda are. I hear the story and see it in my head like a movie. I'm hyper critical of my work though. But, it's still something that I enjoy doing. I just try really hard not to re-read it until I'm done. Than I tend to edit the hell outta it.

If you couldn't tell, I just finished my list of positive things for the day. Good luck everybody!

(2 comments)

06 October 2011

Weigh-in: 333.6 lb

lost so far: 44.4 lb

still to go: 155.6 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment losing 0.7 lb a week

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