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Weight History
showing entries 11 to 15 of 19
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16 January 2019
And I'm finally back in the saddle! I've been emotionally roller-coastering the past few days honestly.
I always thought it was overly dramatic when any type of psychological connection to weight or food was mentioned. Yes, I enjoy "My 600 lb Life" every so often and I wish Dr. Now was my grandpa - but I digress. I always thought it was for show. You know, the secret sauce for screen-writing. A pinch of action, some drama, the tear-jerker... and comic relief, somewhere. In any case, I think I'm converted on that skepticism now.
Because yes I do have some significant, psychological attachments to my weight, which suuuucks. My mind is a sore point for me, especially write now- Yay, puns- as I've come to terms with the fact that I don't exactly "think" like everyone else. For example, if you're familiar with Big Bang Theory or NCIS or Star Trek or any show where there's a very "mechanical" character on the roster, I lean more toward that way of thought than much any other way that is.
And while it's funny on screen, in real life it can be sort of ostracizing when you don't get the jokes or have trouble relating to other people's lives, because you find them "dramatic" or "nonsensical". Eh, I digress again. So yea, it turns out that I do have the tendency to eat my feelings.
And despite my general demeanor, I have a lot of feelings that have been repressed over a long period of time... I've been encouraged to poke and untangle the writhing mass of feels recently, and I've learned that sifting emotional baggage and caloric intake are positively correlated.
Every time I "poke a feel" as I've named it for myself, I eat whatever gross, nutritionally defunct think that pops up my brain like its fine dining. And it's the worst process I've ever undertaken. Needless to say once its done, I'm never letting it happen again. No matter how much it hurts at the time, I'm going to express myself. Let 2019 forever be the year I shed my excess weight and my past life ball-and-chains. I know "New year, New me" is uber cliché. But I don't have the mental duress or inclination to not let that be true.
(2 comments)
14 January 2019
I was unkind to myself this weekend. One cheat day turned into two and then three. Sure, this is a journey, but it disheartening when I turn out to be weaker than even I thought I was. I'm used to being able to make up my mind or change my mind at the drop of a dime. It used to be so easy when I was younger. Oh, I want to do this or that. So I just did.
"Adulting" as the term has been coined is so much more complicated. It's not so easy to change my mind anymore. There's "baggage" to sift through now. Piles of potential "consequences" most of which are existential and don't really add up to life-ruination, but try telling the brain I programmed quite dumbly that. Self-rationalization is way different than giving advice to someone else. Which sucks. That whole "Why don't you just follow your own advice?" thing.
I'm keeping this journal to watch my progress. Good or bad. It's a way to take accountability for my actions. To see my two step forwards and my backslides. My moods and musings. So yea, it's Monday, and I'm sad as I read my weekend food journal, but it's a new day. Blessed and filled with opportunity for growth, and I'm determined to grow! It takes so-so time to back bad habits and so-so time to build better ones. If it's one thing I've managed to beat into my thick skull, at least it's this one, "Change is never instant. It's always a process."
It took time to train myself into the adult I've become. I didn't gain 100 pounds in a day and I'm not losing it in one. Consistency and consciousness is key. And I love to mentally clock out, to forgo process wherever I can, but I'm not letting myself do it this time. I want and require new habits. Until such a time as I find an accountability partner I have to be woman enough to be my own judge and jury, and woman enough to learn to treat myself gently at the same time. To not just be human, but humane...
My mom always says that the definition of insanity is to "repeat the same thing and expect a different result". So, I'm thinking that if I not only do things differently in my actions, but also treat myself differently... Something's got to change right? Here's hoping.
(3 comments)
09 January 2019
So today, I ate 1901 cal. As my goal has been edited to 1983... I'm probably just gonna stop right there. If I must keep going, I've decided that an egg white omelette for dinner won't be too shabby since I still haven't met my protein goals for the day.
But I'm celebrating because I managed to eat almost 2000 calories and I don't feel like I'm going to die, which honestly was the outcome I expected. Needless to say that I'm pleasantly surprised. I feel like I can really keep this up, everyone! Thanks for all the support, you all are awesome.
Now I just have to figure out how to lower fat and increase protein. My mom was actually really helpful on this one. All she had to say was, "How many grams are in a pound?" and it got me thinking. She also said I could eat two steaks a day and easily reach my protein goal, but as much as I love steak that does not sound appetizing.
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09 January 2019
Just going to leave this here so I don't forget I ever read it. It's a really good explanation:
"Eating below your BMR both is and isn't a good idea depending on your situation.
First let's get one thing straight. Your BMR isn't your total caloric need. Your BMR is what your body WOULD need if it where in a coma. Every time you so much as twitch you exceed your bmr. Now lets take two different cases.
Case one 6 foot odd man with 30% body fat. Fat can metabolize about 1600 calories a day all on its own. Long as he doesn't fill the whole day with strenuous crap this person could probably eat 1200 - 1500 cals and still be ok even considering hes a 6 foot odd man. His fat will make up the difference. And his body will get all the calories it needs to be healthy. And this is what a minimum calorie level is about being healthy.
Case two a 5 food odd man with 12% body fat who eats 800 calories a day trying to lose weight. His fat can probably generate about 3-400 a day his bmr is probably in the low 2000's so the total calories available to his body is now well below his bmr. BIG PROBLEM!
Your BMR needs to be fueled or bad things happen but it doesn't have to come from food. If you have a decent amount of body fat you can sustain larger deficits. However it is inadvisable to cut food beyond a certain level hence MFP's 1200 minimum. Some people could safely go below that but they are exceptions. If you have a decent amount of weight to lose then honestly eating 100 below bmr is probably not a big deal. IF you are skinny then yeah your headed up diarrhea drive without a paddle."
"BMR - what your body would like to burn sleeping deeply 24 hrs daily. As you weigh less, this goes down slowly.
TDEE - what your body burns in total, including BMR, food processing, normal daily activity, and specific exercise if done. As you weigh less, this really goes down faster, because not only is BMR lower, but you are moving less mass around and eating less food.
To lose weight, you merely need to eat below what you burn daily, therefore, eat below TDEE. That's what MFP is trying to do if you use the tool correctly.
BMR is a line in the sand that many people draw - because obviously there is a lower limit to reasonable and healthy and creating an unhealthy body, and you are only going to lose weight and hopefully just fat with a healthy body. Make it unhealthy, it'll fight you for any loss."
"Okay lets compare I used a random online calc to get these figures so they may not be exact but they are fine for demonstration purposes.
220lb You BMR 1644.9
-TDEE at Sedentary 1855 calories
-TDEE at Lightly Active 2126 calories
-TDEE at Moderateely Active 2397 calories
120lb You BMR 1209.9
-TDEE at Sedentary 1311 calories
-TDEE at Lightly Active 1502 calories
-TDEE at Moderateely Active 1693 calories
Now for fat metabolism estimations -120lb you 100 - 300 calories
- 220lb you 800 - 1000 calories+
Therefore assuming you are sedentary. (Sitting on yer bum all day) The absolute minimum you could eat safeley at 120lbs is 1000-1100 calories a day. and fact is at that level some times during the day you wont have enough in the tank so bad stuff will happen. So 1200 is more advisable. You are still 100 below your TDEE.
Making that some calculation for the 220lb version of you. You could eat as little as 800 calories safeley. Your fat metabolism would still cover your bmr.
Not only that but as you get to low fat levels you body actively tries to retain it going so far as to destroy muscle tissue as a preference. The generally accepted rule of thumb for weight loss is when the deficit you can sustain safely is tiny. You are pretty much at a healthy weight already. And will have to do decidedly unhealthy things to lose more."
-From RHachicho on MyFitnessPal community
-From heybales on MyFitnessPal community
- From Liftng4Lis in the MyFitnessPal community
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09 January 2019
So what are some relatively fatless sources of protein? Carbs seem to be simple enough to handle in this new regimen if I cut out bread, my favoritest carbohydrate for a while. Or at least limit my consumption.
However, fat sneaks up fast.
I've entered breakfast and lunch in my food log and already I'm just 2 grams away from game-set-match for daily fat intake.
Carbs are fine where they are and protein is sad as usual. So yeah, any pure proteins out there?
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