Egull1's Journal, 05 November 2017

There you go again! 

The amazing thing is I'm actually eating more! My daily averages 1450-1500 cals/day for at least 5 days a week. The other 2 days of the week I eat maintenance cals, which is like 1900 cals. The first week of every month, I get to eat some of my exercise cals, so any day I exercise I simply eat a 500 cal deficit from what I normally burn for a cardio or a strength training routine. As a result, there are some days I eat 1700 cals or 1900 cals. The fit bit is REALLY helpful in determining how to do this because it lets me know what my average calorie burn is for these days. In short, I get to eat more and continue to lose weight. I lost 4.2 lbs from Oct 5- Nov. 5. That's the most weight I've lost in 1 month since I started this whole thing!Probably the most essential lesson I'm learning from all this is patience. It will often take 9-10 days before I see a drop. It doesn't always happen weekly or daily, because that is just not how my body works. But, it does happen. I've also discovered that by approaching my eating habits this way, my metabolism is revved up and my over-all calorie burn has gone up. It really makes this journey far more enjoyable and it's so nice having more options and not so much restriction. In the meantime, I continue to do the inner work and deal with those habits and emotions that got me here to begin with. Actually, that's far more difficult than the weight loss journey itself, lol. 

How does it feel to be halfway there? Other non-scale measures you've noticed outside of the ramping up of your metabolism? 

It's funny you mention the half-way mark 371 (and, thank you for noticing, btw). It feels significant because out of all the times in my life I've lost weight, I was really present for every pound lost this time and there was so much I had to learn. Things like, a TDEE, BMR, and how these things inevitably change as we get older, especially for women. I had to learn about water retention and inflammation and the role these factors play in weight fluctuation in addition how inflammation impacts the body's ability to let go of weight. The importance of maintenance breaks in teaching me not only how to maintain any weight I desire, but to ensure I keep off what I've lost, indefinitely. Let's not forget the value of exercise, NOT as a weight loss panacea, but because it really is good for organs and tissues and helps to ensure our vitals are functioning the way they need to be so we can "be" the joy we want to see in our lives. But, if you ask me what my my most phenomenal NSV is at this point, it has been learning to truly, genuinely, and wholeheartedy love this body. It's been the joy of waking up in the mornings and instead of viewing this form with self loathing or making an enemy of the very thing that works so hard to keep my alive, it's been such a beautiful and joyful pleasure to look at this body and say, "I choose you. No matter what happens, no matter what life throws are way, no matter what the challenge, I choose you. And, thank you so much for all the plugging along doing the best you can to keep this girl alive so she can do the things she wants to do. Thank you for doing your best to put up with unhealthy habits and plots of self destruction. Thank you for sticking with me, even when I didn't always stick with you and didn't treat you with the respect and love you deserve. From here on out, we're doing this together and I'm committed to working with you so that we can reap the most joy this life can afford to give us." I can tell you when I talk to my body this way, it LOVES it, and ironically I wake up to another lb lost and with a body ready to meet the day. So, yeah...I have to say loving this body is the greatest gift this girl might ever ask for from this journey :-)  

Applause!!  

I really like your self love mantra. I have also found this to be true. Since starting my journey here... I have noticed the days I took the time to smile at myself in the mirror and feel blessed that my body and mind are still here after all the self hate and destruction I have shown it... I wake up another pound lighter. I have a few theories to why, maybe the lowering of stressful thoughts lowers cortisol, maybe our body actually thrives on praise and gratitude like all relationships do, so when our mind and body are happy they can thrive and release the good hormones. But either coincidence, spiritual, or science... I think I am going to write my body it's own praises to recite or meditate on!! 

@mama - I think that is a wonderful idea! Something I do often in the morning if I catch myself in a negative thought when it comes to my body is look down at my belly and my whole being and say, "we're choosing you today". If you think about it, our bodies are the truest partners we're ever going to have. It's with us until the day we're six feet under. And, like all partnerships, it functions better when we do our best to collaborate and work with it. If ya think about it, even when it's sick or ill, it's doing its best to keep us alive, so yes it's time to speak it some praise ;-) @Draglist - thank you, buddy. I don't know if I have it all together, but it's definitely coming together for sure, lol. It will be a learning experience to the end, but no less beautiful and inspiring in the lessons alone ((hugs)) 

Everyday I am so grateful I found FS. The community, like minded folks and support has been so uplifting to me. Thanks for your post and reminding me all it takes is a little love!