morganstuart's Journal, 31 May 2021

I had managed to do My walking workout dvd plus, an hour of Tae Bo. I hope I can lose quite a lot with this on this coming up month. I remember back last year I had lost 23lbs in one month doing the Tae Bo. Although I ended up gaining it back. I had e been working on my first book my memoir on my weight loss journey. I am still in the early stages of it right now though. I hope to one day get it published. Its going to be some time before I can do that. I am having to write down from what I remember growing up as a kid just so I could type it up. Its a depressing memory but I am willing to share it. I can remember little things. kinda like one of my doctor visits I had when I was only 4 or 5 years old. I was already at risk for diabetes. I was of course overweight for my height and I didn't understand any of that til I had gotten to my teen years. I don't think I had a ahha moment til I got stuck in a roller coaster. It was embarrassing back then. I almost went twice on that thing. I don't ever think I started dieting til after that. That's when my true journey started. I don't know about anyone else but I had been on cou less of diets. I think the one I stayed on the longest was Nutrisystem. I was on it for 6 months. After that I never wanted to see tv dinners again. I think the more I thought about dieting the more I just wanted to stuff my face with something. I don't think they have a thing called compulsive eating. I am more of a compulsive eater to vs emotional. The other half the time I eat cause I am bored.What I mean by that, I tend to think "Oh! I gotta have it! I gotta have it right now!" When I don't stop to think to see if I really need that. It kinda reminds me of my spending habits. When I see something at the store I think the same thing. So I guess I can confess I am a compulsive spender on some things. I mostly buy things such as journals, paper, etc. Mainly my stationary stuff. I use it all the time. But I had been trying to combat that as well recently. I hope by using the envelope system I will do better with that. So far I had been doing well. I had started my own YouTube video on that journey and I plan to post again at the end of June. I look forward to pay days with this though. I hope everyone has a great Monday!

321.8 lb Lost so far: 26.0 lb.    Still to go: 161.8 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.