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Just looked back and I have logged in every day for 2 weeks. That's pretty good for me. I have not been able to stick to logging my calorie intake for more than a few days, maybe a week tops. Kudos to my former app for getting hacked and causing me to find this program instead. I had looked for a new app a few times but never found anything that compared to the one I was using. Till I found this one. I don't know what it is that keeps me logging in. Maybe its the interaction that I have with others who share my same interest in getting healthy. The way the groups are designed and I can follow those who seem to share the same ideals as me. Maybe its the support we give each other that keeps me coming back. Maybe its the way the program is laid out making it easy to log in from my phone or my computer. I am not really sure what it is exactly but for some reason I'm still here.
I did join the 30 day exercise challenge. Not sure if I'm really digging that yet we shall see. That is what got me motivated before. I joined some strangers 30 day squat challenge on Facebook. Before I knew it I was back at the gym again. Despite needing a total hip replacement, I was getting it done. Its been really hard to get motivated this time. Mostly with the exercise. So maybe this is what I need.
Seems I can stick to it for a week or so and then I just get discouraged. I tell myself I don't care, and I like donuts. But I do care. I still like donuts. But I do care I can't fit in the seat at the concerts this summer. I do care my joints hurt so bad I can hardly walk some days making it even harder to keep moving. I do care I am out of breath before getting to my car after work. I do care that I can't take hike and photograph the wild life because I fear walking to far from the car I might die before I make it back. Because that's what if feels like. I do care I can't go into the city with my friend because walking 1 city block leaves me in tears, and I have to stop every couple hundred feet. So why don't I just stick it out and get it done. Because its F-ing hard. Its really, really F-ING hard! I feel like the child who cries and stomps their feet when they don't wanna do something. NO, NO, NO I don't wanna do leg lifts, I want cake. You see I am in it for a long haul....not 10...not 20..not even 30 pounds will get me to my goal. As I scan the magazines at the check out. Pfft F that! They have no idea what it is like to try to loose 100+ pounds. Sure I'll drink Kale shakes for the next 2 years of my life every damn day. Yeah I'll stick to that for sure. No, No I won't stick to that for 2 days. There is no instant fix, no 2 weeks to beach body, no ab blast workout to get rid of my gut. Nope. This is a lifestyle change, a good habit nurturing, soul searching expedition. I have done this before only it does get harder as you get older. Maybe this time I can delve deep enough into the inner workings of my brain to figure out how and why I keep coming back to a place where I am so uncomfortable. Like going back to the abusive lover. Like falling off the wagon headfirst into a pile of icing and just making camp there despite the sticky feeling. Somehow its comforting and unnerving all at the same time.
But here I am sticking to this for 2 weeks now. Go me. Baby steps right. Hey I'm even adding in little exercise. WOOOTWOOT. Toddler steps, Im at a wobbly jog. Go Me...
Diet Calendar Entries for 19 April 2018:
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1466 kcal
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Fat: 66.49g | Prot: 77.19g | Carb: 140.82g.
Breakfast: Smucker's Red Raspberry Jam, Crazy Richard's 100% Natural Chunky Peanut Butter, Whole Wheat Saltine Crackers, Coffee with Cream and Sugar. Lunch: Utz BBQ Flavored Pork Rinds. Dinner: Daphne's Greek Cafe Dolmas, Grape Tomatoes, Hummus, BelGioioso Fresh Mozzarella Cheese, Skinless Chicken Breast. Snacks/Other: Simply Orange Simply Lemonade, Strawberries, Daphne's Greek Cafe Dolmas, Hummus, BelGioioso Fresh Mozzarella Cheese. more...
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3917 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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