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So update on my GF. Her testing went well. the DR doesn't seem to think it's the big C. YAY! She might have to go in for another procedure to cut out the abnormal cells, but other then that...she is ok. She does have to have a pap every 6 months though. BUT, i would rather have that then something happen and it wasn't caught right away. She doesn't have a spleen, so her body doesn't react well to infections or foreign things in her body. SOOO, they always make her go through a ton of tests when something like this comes up. This time though, I was scared. BUT she is going to be ok.
Ok, so this past weekend we went out and I saw a friend I haven't seen for about 2 years. She knew me when I was heavier, but never saw me when i got to my heaviest weight. WELL. We were talking about weight loss and stuff, as she is also trying to lose weight and is doing a great job, and a crazy thing happened. i told her my heaviest weight. I just came right out and said it. NOW. I used to NEVER tell ANYONE how much I weighed. EVER. NOW, it's like...I'm running into to tell my gf when I lose another lb! It honestly felt so liberating to say that ugly # out loud. LIKE, I was taking back my life sort of. I don't know if that makes any sense. I guess it was like, for so long that 375 loomed over me. Swollowing me up. I had to fight so hard to come OUT of that back hole...and when i told her, it was like.....HELL YEAH!! I also told her about my depression and all kinds of crap. My GF was stunned that I was so open. It felt so good to just PURGE all of that. I know I have already done that here with my blogs, but to open up to someone who really isn't even a really good friend...it felt so GREAT. I'm freaking proud of myself. i have come from such a dark place. I have almost lost 120 freaking lbs! I'm in school AND loving it AND I'm HAPPY to wake up each morning. I really AM proud of all I have been able to accomplish in less then a year.
Now, maybe this girl will run all around and tell people I was a big fat fatty and that I wanted to kill myself, but ya know what? So freaking what. I'm NOT 375 anymore and I want to LIVE my life to the fullest.
I just wanted to write about that, because to me, it was a major NSV!
Ok, research paper tweaking time! I have to say, this semester has been a killer and I will be so freaking happy for spring break!!!
<3
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