jsfantome's Journal, 18 January 2012

I know how you feel. It all boils down to where we are in our "state of minds." It's not so much what we eat, it's the emotions we put surrounding it. From how we feel while we're eating, how we feel after we've eaten it, and the battle of good Vs. bad for the future. I think we all fall into the bad choice syndrome, and the emotional distress of where that leaves us. I believe it all boils down to balance. I hope you start to feel better soon and remember all the good choices that you have made and do make to be proud of yourself regardless. :) 

I really love what Lindsay had to say. I'm not struggling with a gain, but with mentally why I'm doing this. I mean, it all boils down to health for me- and we won't go backwards, but obvisously that's not enough for me. It's funny- I almost feel like I'm letting all the overweight people down by trying to get healthy. Guess I was always taught that big was beautiful----which, I guess it can be, but- that's what it is---I've got the vanity aspect drilled into me so much from society that part of me retaliates (sp) because I hate fitting into a mold or stereotype. I hate getting healthy just because other people think fat is ugly. And I guess for me, I'm not being honest with myself as to who I am- why I'm changing and so forth. So, Lindsay brings up very valid points on the emotional side. I'm sorry to hear you overate, and I don't really know what else to say- I know it sucks, but I guess this is where we are supposed to give ourselves a good looking at, and dig deep. Do I have any doubt you will recover- heck no! You've done amazing and you KNOW and have the TOOLS on how to eat healthy. I think during this phase when we are aiming for the number or that size, we become way too obsessive- I know I do. I don't know about you, but when this "lifestyle" becomes exactly that, and I know it like the back of my hand- I don't want to sit here stressing over any day where I ate over calories or decided to splurge a little bit- that's just not living to me. To me, that sounds too much like Hollywood celebs or eating disorders when we freak out so much about a day off. Yes, watch our weight and be healthy- but what's the point if you're not living while you're doing it? Sorry, I tend to rattle off with a lot of what I deal with, not knowing if anyone connects to it or not. Yes, you had a setback- but you already said it yourself- you know what to do to correct it. Just think back to when you didn't even give a rats butt about your health and commit to never going there again. No worries, hun- you totally got this!  

FYI - it might be a reaction to the nitrates as well as the sodium. More and more I am able to find sausages without nitrates and it makes a big difference. I sometimes also buy plain ground pork and season it myself - not as good as the store bought but close enough.  

I had a dish on Friday that was made with tomato sauce, olives, and hot Italian sausage. The next morning I was up almost 4lbs. On Saturday I drank a lot and got a good sweat in, and it was gone on Sunday. You're doing such a great job, and you know that this isn't a trend. Hang in there, do what you know is right, and you'll be back on track in no time! 

I am under the impression that you are not a fan of this but I would suggest picking one day a week to eat more calories. It doesn't have to be a lot more calories...you can start off with just 200 more. That could be all the confusion your body needs to jump back into gear. If it makes you feel better you can make sure that the extra calories are protein. Just a suggestion. I also agree with Lindsay and MamaShea that you want to find a balance you are happy with. You want to know that no matter what the scale says you are one step closer to learning more about yourself and this life-long journey. We believe in you and know you can make it. Hope you feel better.  

'Tis a puzzlement, to be sure. For myself, I know that overeating, a whole lot or a moderate amount, nearly ALWAYS has some emotional basis to it. MamaShea talks about digging deep and I'd say that's exactly what I'm fighting through right now, myself. You WILL find your way through this, just like I'm going to find a way through too. But, ultimately, I know I can't get so bogged down into introspection that this WOE becomes 1 huge burden.....because I know it's not and if I turn it into a burden, I'll never stick with it. I have the utmost faith that you'll find the answers you're looking for. Many hugs.... 

I growl at the scales, then when I look long term they seem to keep up their end of the bargain. I'm specifically thinking about Christmas. I logged everything I ate so that I would know the damage. The figures suggested staying the same, the scales went up by 7lbs !!!(I didn't log that as I thought it was water weight)I had been as good as gold, so was shocked at the gain, not to mention really annoyed. I got straight back to my usual eating routine and low and behold, we are just over two weeks on and the weight has droped off and I am where I would have been (I usually loose 1.5lbs P/W) if Christmas never happened.....why?????? But the point I'm trying to make is, try to look long term for the 'trend' rather than the day to day ups and downs...you deserve to see the weight go.... and do the happy dance :o) XX  

Well, I can only speak about my experience, but whenever I have these "lapses of control" there's usually a deeper reason behind it. I've been doing extremely well for many months and then things just happened that bothered/worried me with family/work and "boom"...I get these urges for sweet stuff, carby stuff, meaty stuff and it's hard to get it back under control. So maybe, and I really mean MAYBE, you need to sit down for a moment, don't think about the FitBit (or was it BitFit?), your food intake, your weight etc...and see if there's something else bothering you that could possibly be sabotaging your diet/weightloss....just a thought! Have a great day and hang in there, you know you and KingKeld are my heroes ;) 

Let me see if I can explain this another way! Anybody else know the definition of insanity? Cause that's what I feel like!!! Ever since I got to my goal weight of 140 ... it has danced around for 6 months.. then little by little, squeek by squeek, moved up. And all the while, I have diligently worked at stopping it.. and moving it in the opposite direction. I feel betrayed. By my own body, and it's unwillingness to work w/ me! Seriously, - ok, it is likely the sodium from the stupid sausages. And I agree, I knew better, but wouldn't be much of a pity party w/out the stupidity to go along with it, now would it? But the first increase the day before... that was not from stupidity, sausages, or anything else I can figure out. I was so into this fitbit, and walking ... oh, boy! this is really gonna be great. Extra steps, and faithfully exercising... I am sure this is just what I need, coupled w/ great whole, healthy foods, and moderate portions, and nothing overboard, or out of plan or sugary or hidden carbs, or whatever! Tons of water, sleeping well, you name it... I have worked my way thru it in this past year - and I am now 10 lbs away from where I was a year ago. I don't have the foggiest idea how to change this. Sure, I can drink the water, and shed the sodium retention... but seriously... what do I do about the other 8 or so pounds that are still going to be staring me in the face once the water weight is gone! HUH? I'm pissed off! And I feel like an idiot to just keep on doing the same things... and expecting different results. INSANE! And no idea where to go from here. 

You always have the option to go back a level. Bounce down to Induction or OWL 2 for a few days, give your body the boost it needs and then add back your upper level foods. They say that the last 10 pounds are the hardest, keep on doing what you know you need to do and you will get through this!  

It sucks- it really does and I wish I knew more of what to say. Not an expert enough to know how to help- wish I could! Just vent the he&% out of it here and day by day you should work through it. Some people suggest calorie staggering to trick your body back into losing weight. Our bodies become way too comfy where they are at or where they've come from. I mean, heck, I just started and I just wrote a journal about my body warring with me because I am so over the top hungry. I haven't followed you this whole time, but I'm still wondering if you're not gaining the weight (other than water weight) in good places? I mean, do you feel like a total slob with these extra 8 pounds? Unhealthy? I hope it's none of those and that you are literally just pissed at your body because it's working against you. I understand where you're coming from though- if the trend has been the same in eating patterns and exercise and the weight goes up- you want to stop it before it gets out of control. Also, I know myself included, you may not want to hear this- but are you eating enough? If your body is getting more exercise than it used to and your calories stayed the same, your body has gotten too comfy there and is probably storing fat. Just a thought....sorry I can't help more.  

Paula, I feel your pain. I have been acused before of over-analyzing things, but I wonder if this will help. When I look at your weight-loss history, it appears that you had this steady weight loss trend of about 65 pounds up until just before Christmas of December 2010 (about a year ago) and then it just kind of yo-yo'd from there. The funny thing is that you were consuming 1500-1600 calories back then during that dramatic weight-loss trend. From the way the trend seems to have stagnated around a year ago, the conclusion that I would be tempted to draw is that 1500 - 1600 calories is about what your maintenance mode should be. I could be wrong, but I don't see the evidence that you adjusted your RDI after such a dramatic weight loss. I hate to suggest consuming less for a while, because compared to mine, your intake is close to starvation, but I think you'll either have to increase the aerobics or reduce the RDI. The RDI formulas don't work well for everyone. I could be all wet, but it's a thought. 

Sorry, I just reread my post and it didn't come across how I had meant it to be----bad speaking on my part! Forgive me, please. I'm not the best at conveying my thoughts at times. :-( 

What is your workout regimen? Do you strength train? Maybe after losing as much weight as you did, you need to focus on building muscle? I've decided to make that my focus since I got back into things after Christmas. The scale still stubbornly refuses to return to the low from last Nov but my measurements are back to where they were back then, even down a half inch in a couple of places (after only a couple weeks back in workout mode!). I'm eating a few more calories so it doesn't feel like I'm trying so hard and I'm generally happier about what I'm doing that I have been in the last three months of chasing deficits.  

Mama Shea, no worries...I appreciate you! Gnat and DK - I think you are both on to something. First I have not been using weights, really at all, for quite some time, and was back in 2010/early 2011. Every time I picked them back up, since then, bang...my weight goes up. But I suppose in a way that makes sense. So I will just have to 'power thru that' to figure out if it will help. As for the calories, well, they've not been my friend, even when I do pay attention to them, but I would assume you are right about that too. I just didn't want to lower them to the point of trying to maintain or exist on 1200 calories / day, for the rest of my life..if you get my meaning. I don't want my body to acclimate itself to such a limited caloric intake. And this fitbit thing, has shown me I am literally creating about a 600 calorie/day deficit..as it is! That should have created a loss. But instead it created the first gain, yesterday. Then I got all bummed out - ate the sausages, shot myself in the foot, and hence, today's gain! I need to 'marinate' in this for awhile and figure out what to do. Today is basically a high protein day w/ limited veggie carbs. That's my fallback safety menu. ;) 

Oh sweetheart you are one of my biggest inspirations. Theres no doubt in my mind you will get back on track. I think its a given for us all there are going to be ups and downs and its all about what we choose to do about them. I agree with Mama on many accounts. My fb page consists of mostly personal trainers ect right now. One posted the other day about it being the second week into the year and how it would be a good idea to go over our plans and ask ourselves what is working, what isnt and what can we do to make changes. I thought it was a very good idea. Maybe its reavaluation time. I also think, and this is my opinion, we get so used to routine we forget to shake things up a bit. Routine may start out our friends but in the end not so much. Our bodies seem to like challenge and change. Maybe its time for some on some level.  

Well, it's been quite a day for me. I largely tried to just 'wallow' in my frustration! But I do feel better. My spirits are recovering. Don't know what tomorrow will bring, or what damage will happen to my psyche should I have to endure yet another unexpected gain... but I will be back tomorrow morning, I will weigh in again, and I will live with the process. Almost to another 10,000 step day today... that's good. And all foods have been lower sodium and plenty of water. So, it is what it is. And I'll live to fight another day! ;) Thanks for all the love and support... just needed to get mad! I think it did me some good, on some level. Night. 

Great job on the steps, Paula. They sound like steps in the right direction. 

Paula, I have no inspiring words, and I know there is nothing I can say that bring you 'comfort' but I wanted you to know I hear you, hear your frustration, and I care. XO