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Great day this morning as I saw an all time low..in fact, at first glance I saw 139 and did a happy double-take, but when I re-stepped on the scale it showed a consistent 140.6, so I guess that's the actual weight, but still!! It's still the lowest!!! And a 6 pound loss in a week (granted, some of that is the vacation weight, but it still is great to see it fall off so consistently!!)
And so, what does my subconscious do??? It finds a way to self-sabotage!!!! I am so mad at myself and frustrated at the lack of mental discipline!! Despite staying up late last night and packing a good lunch to bring to a long work meeting today, I caved at the meeting when I saw these two large boxes of gourmet donuts sitting on the table!! I tried to resist for a while, but saw everyone eating these, so I decided to get just a bite of a chocolate one..and then a bite turned into 3/4th of the donut itself..up until I walked half to the trash can and very close to the trash can, I ended up grabbing one last bite before finding the strength to throw away the 1/4th remainign piece!!! How weak and desperate was that?!! To make matters worse, they brought in this huge celebration cake and passed it around the room for a freakin VIEWING!! Who does that?! Well, then when they sent pieces aroudn to everyone, I managed to hold on to mine..and very soon polished it off my plate!!! It was so delish!! Not too sweet and softest frosting!!
So there ya have it. My two cardinal offences that probably ruined my induction, if I was getting there!! And worse, the guilt is making me upset with myself and didn't get to the work gym. Now I have to find the motivation to go to my bldg gym and go and do a hard workout!! not too fond of that idea, but if YA BREAK THE RULE, YA CAN'T BE SITTIN' COOL!!!!
Lesson learned the hard way. Food control will have to be strongly implemented for the duration of the next 5 weeks, and hopefully by then it will be neuroligically programmed in my system!! If I cave even a little bit, it's gonna set me back too much and the guilt is too too much to bear!! So NO MORE CHEATING UNTIL OCT !!!!!! Gotta lose 8 more pounds in five weeks (if I hopefully didn't gain any from today's debauchery!!)
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 Comments
Congrats on the new low, nothing can stop you now! :-)
18 Aug 09 by member: information
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Just keep picturing that 139 that you saw for a moment this morning and that should help give you some incentive. Congrats on the new low! You are really rolling along, Girlfriend! As for the donuts and cake......sometimes temptations are just too hard to resist. Don't beat yourself up over it, just move on. Eight lbs. in 5 weeks is SOOOOO doable! You got this! :-)
18 Aug 09 by member: mbhpro
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Stop w/the guilty feelings and stop depriving yourself! One reason you may be self-sabotaging yourself is b/c you're depriving yourself. Ask yourself if "you're hungry" if it's a yes, eat anything you want and eat slowly and listen to your body say, "ok, that's enough". The more you deprive the more you're going to go out and find "guilty" foods to eat after having a period of being "good". This is something I'm battling myself. We're in it together, sista. Time to be kind....today is another day.
19 Aug 09 by member: JulieC
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Don't you just love when they do that. My biggest weakness is warm, glazed doughnuts!! They're constantly in my office, but I make myself stay away and don't even go in the area where they are. I know if I see it, I'll eat it. I'm pretty good on everything else but not that! Well, actually...I'm that way with cake too...so unfortunately, you didn't have a prayer!!! :) I don't blame you for indulging!
19 Aug 09 by member: jadenby
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Mwaahahaaaaa! Our evil plan worked, JulieC! Just when victory was slipping thru our hands, the old donut and cake trick worked! JK, 08 - you know we wouldn't do that. Hope you made it to the gym to work off the goodies! We all need goodies now and then. Don't let them get you down or derail you.
19 Aug 09 by member: amryk
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LOL, Amryk. We're in kahoots!
20 Aug 09 by member: JulieC
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the donut thing, i do that too, everytime i do good at weigh in i reward myself with food, gotta find a new reward????? congrats on the new low!
20 Aug 09 by member: vf123
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