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OK so I'm in a panic now! I'm convinced weight loss is governed to some extent by moods - Its only 5.30 am and I'm up, awake, bloated, up almost a pound and worried, even though my eating has been good. What am I panicking about? The grapevine has been working well here and work collegues from several years ago have discovered that I'm going to be in their area for the wedding and want to meet up and eat. Even worse, OH's relatives want to come and stay for a week just 1 day after I get back from my wedding trip. They have never been to stay before at any of our homes. All the old insecurities about not being good enough and what people will think of me and mine are surfacing again.
I have this mental thing where I know in my mind that what I'm thinking is a load of rubbish and I am just as good as anyone else, and I know I look so much better than the last time anyone saw me, but somehow I can't make myself believe it. My brain is working overtime. What will I wear to meet colleagues? I now live a very different lifestyle out in the sticks, so clothes are more practical and my new smaller wardrobe reflects this. I know they want to see me and not my clothes but...... What will Daffers & Graham think of our home? Its quite tiny and they are the upper crust end of the family used to space, stainless steel and antiques and we're more mud, animals and no storage space and the only antique is the battered collander my grandmother bought me as an engagement present almost 50 years ago - unless you count me and OH! How will I fit the cleaning in in just 1 day? I know, I know they're coming to see us and not to judge but my head just won't accept it. I thought I was getting over this lack of self worth, but if this has thrown me ito a spin, I've definitly got some more work to do.
Sorry for the rant, but I just needed to put it down on 'paper' to see how stupid I'm being.
On the animal front, we have a young Roe deer in the field opposite. I'm not quite sure whether its an odd one or whether its one of the pod of 3 that we see regularly. If it is one of the trio, what's hapened to Mum and Dad? Hope they've not met a sticky end. It comes quite close and with the glasses I can even see its beautiful long eyelashes and brown eyes. You only have to make a sudden move and it flashes its white rear at you and disappears into the long grass and trees.
Hope everyone has a wonderful stress free day
Diet Calendar Entries for 22 May 2009:
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819 kcal
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Fat: 30.82g | Prot: 57.04g | Carb: 86.55g.
Breakfast: Total 0% Nonfat Greek Strained Yogurt. Lunch: Real Mayonnaise with Omega 3, tomato, lettuce, Norway Sardines in Olive Oil. Dinner: cream, berries, gravy, sweetcorn, peas, carrots, cauliflower, cabbage, lamb chop. Snacks/Other: apple. more...
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2846 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
LOL! Hang in there flaxseed, I'm sure everything will be fine.
22 May 09 by member: information
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Honey, take a deep, deep breath and exhale and do this three times. I am serious. Now please do not now or ever feel you are less than anyone else. Now a plan to make this a bit easier for you, less stressful right now...try to get the cleaning, organizing done before you go to the wedding if that is possible, so you are not going crazy when you get back home for that one day before they come. Start right now. If possible make some meals for when they visit and freeze them and if you do not have room in the freezer ask some neighborhood friends if they do have room and store the meals there. Doing all of these things will keep you busy and out of stress eating. And remember you are someone special and important. Do what you can do and enjoy the visit. And please do not apologize to them for what you do not have. What you have is good enough and don't ever forget that. And you will look amazing. Keep looking at that weight loss chart of yours and see the progress you have made. I am so proud of you. ((((hugs)))
23 May 09 by member: WECANDOTHIS
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I hope writing down your insecurities helped some. I do understand, as I get that way, too. Your colleagues will be thrilled to see you, and amazed at your healthy trasformation. They'll probably be jealous of your more casual look! And as for your house-guests - I'll bet some time out in the country will be a breath of fresh air for them in more ways than one! The Roe-dear need only bat it's pretty lashes at them and they will be charmed for sure. All that is beside the point, though, as the real attraction for colleagues and guests will be your wonderful self! I'd be thrilled to spend time with an amazing person such as yourself, even if you were dressed in a sack and living in a manure factory! :) Hope you've dusted off your self-worth and are having a grand time!
24 May 09 by member: amryk
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