Ruhu's Journal, 16 January 2014

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Day 2 of 6. Yesterday, although the time was limited, went well, and Mom seemed just as I'd left her last Oct. I'm happy & relieved to find her no worse for wear. When I came last Oct, the visit started tensely with her being very anxious as she couldn't remember what I'd told her we were doing each day (even though I'd told her to write it down). I think organizing it all ahead of time, writing it all out for her, and mailing it to her ahead of time helped. She thrives with routine, which the assisted living facility provides & she has adjusted to nicely since moving her here 2 years ago. They provide a monthly calendar that she reads daily, but in general, each day of the week has the same activities each week. She's still quite social & participates in many of the activities. Physically, she gets around quite well, just uses a walker & walks really, really slow. (I have to keep reminding myself to slow down when I'm with her -- not a bad lesson at all!)

After a good nights sleep last night (yeah!), I'm off to Zumba this morning, lunch with mom this afternoon, and shopping & dinner with my close friend tonight. One day at a time, but I'm happy that yesterday's one day went so well, with mom & my eating. It is a trigger for me to eat out then come home and want something sweet. Last night after dinner with mom, I went to her unit, went through her mail (no matter how many times I tell her that all the important stuff is being mailed to me in CT, she still saves most of what comes to her for me to go through -- all garbage, of course, but the 20 minutes it took was again worth her piece of mind), and came back to my unit early as I was tired. (They have an apartment here at the assisted living facility that family members can rent when visiting form out of town.) I had a bowl of berries (I stocked up on healthy foods on my way from the airport), a cup of tea & was in bed at 9. I'm feeling so good this morning because of it all.

So, on I go with my day, starting by praying for serenity (I've never figured out how to copy & paste from my iPad, so while I pray it, I can't paste it here unfortunately). I also pray today for the strength & patience to make this visit with Mom as enjoyable and special for her as I can. I'll again for this one day, and each one meal, moment, bite, thought, & emotion, pray, breathe, journal, log & express my way. I'm so grateful for each of you, your unconditional love & support, my family & IRL friends, finding Mom as I last left her, and having the health & wealth to live this life I love. Xoxox

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 January 2014:

1138 kcal

Fat: 61.43g | Prot: 76.48g | Carb: 81.99g. Lunch: Skyline Chili Light Italian Dressing, Skyline Chili Greek Chicken Salad with No Dressing. Dinner: Berries, Seasons 52 Organic Mixed Greens (with Sunflower Seeds), Seasons 52 Cedar Plank Salmon. Snacks/Other: Trader Joe's Just a Handful of Raw Almonds, Trader Joe's Fresh Vegetable Tray, Wholly Guacamole 100 Calorie Snack Pack. more...

1747 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Stretching (yoga) - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 14 hours. more...

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Comments

So good to hear your visit with your Mom is going better than you expected and good to hear that her condition has not worsened - enjoy your time with her it is precious :)

16 Jan 14 by member: triaby

I'm so Happy to hear that your first day with Mom was good.

16 Jan 14 by member: davidsmom

I'm so glad everything is going so well. It's so nice that there is a place to stay right at the facility, makes it so much easier. Enjoy your day.

16 Jan 14 by member: SJacqueline

Wonderful journal Ruth, you are such a good daughter and the place your mum lives sound perfect for her. Great that they have an apartment/unit on site that you can rent. I too find that my sister thrives on routine, and can't remember what comes next unless we repeat, repeat, repeat so mailing your mum an itinerary that she can look at was a great idea. Dementia and Alzheimer's are very similar diseases at this stage I'm thinking. And didn't you do well, taking care of yourself with berries and tea before bed? Congrats, and hope today is just as good. Thanks for taking the time to check in here and let us know how you are doing.

16 Jan 14 by member: sarahsmum

Sometimes reading about your Mother and Isabel's sister I cannot help but wonder how closely the Alz & Dementia are related to respiratory issues Cutty had as he too thrived on routine. And clocks. I wonder if it's something 'they' recognize - the loss of control or free will or something and clinging to the time, schedule, fixed routines is all they have left to feel like they are in charge of something?? Then we come along with our juggling act keeping multiple things flying in the air at the same time and it only highlights how small their lives have become??? Hmmm... probably something I should explore in my own journal but it just struck an chord in me reading yours. The mail - oh my yes. I used to consider the post office my 'mail storage' and go pick it up weekly to deal with. He loved going thru every piece; reading it, paying attention - ((not my strong suit)). There's a connection here with them and with us. Ours is that we recognize and have compassion ((which we do)) while not getting lost in the mix. You're doing well with your resting and healthy meals and good nights rest. Keep up the good work and the next four days, as well as your DH meeting you on return, and you'll be fine.

16 Jan 14 by member: FullaBella

Hey Ruth...so glad your visit was a good one this go around....My SIL has been in a nursing home for years now...she started out with dementia and now she can't even feed herself....she is only 62...she was so smart and now she can't even recognize her family...so sad...she had breast cancer and I think the heavy dose of chemo they had to give her for her rapid growth of cancer she had did this to her...not to mention the massive migraine headaches she had....We are never tooo young to have things go wrong in our world...:O)

16 Jan 14 by member: BHA

So glad to hear your visit is going well. What a relief that must be for you. Your Mom is lucky to have you as her daughter. Hope the rest of your visit goes well. Have a great day.

16 Jan 14 by member: Lynn1958

Loved your journal today. Day 2 sounds as if it is a success. HAGD!!!

16 Jan 14 by member: Mom2Boxers

I'm happy to hear things are going well for you. This is certainly a heart-felt time for you. You are inspiring in how you are caring for yourself.

16 Jan 14 by member: Sweet Ce

Must give you some peace of mind to see how well the home suits your Mom's needs. Sounds like she is doing very well under the circumstances.

16 Jan 14 by member: BuffyBear

That such great news to hear about your Mom. It sounds like she is in excellent care at the assisted living facility. And good for you for staying dedicated to your routine. Enjoy your time with your Mom and friends.

16 Jan 14 by member: ChicaLean

Glad to hear that everything is going better than you expected! I'm so glad to hear you and your Mom are getting some time together. My Mom is 90 and I am so lucky. I feel guilty that I can't spend more time with her. Looking back and seeing all she did for me--wow! Glad you are able to have some "you" time, also. It's hard to have healthy meals when you travel, but you're acing this!

16 Jan 14 by member: Jillzee00


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