flaxseed's Journal, 10 July 2010

Well - the weekend is here and where has our lovely weather gone! Today has been a bit chilly, no sun and rain early this morning. Weight is still slowly inching down. I think I'm still eating too many carbs, even though they're good ones.

I've been in a thoughtful mood today. My first thought was about how wonderful it is that there is a community of people on FS who really care about one another even though they are relative strangers all pulled together by their individual weight loss journey and the empathy of shared experiences - told you I was in a thoughtful mood. I moved on to my personal experiences and my recent 'black' spell and decided I have a shiny outer coating that people think is durable and strong (probably because I give them that impression and hold mysef together) but if you scratch the surface I crumble. I try to make the most of whatever each day brings but its very hard not to yearn for the carefree days I thought I would have, or muse that a spoonful of sugar won't make the pie that much sweeter. Not that I should be having sugar any way.

I feel like a different me now - the old one feels like Mary Poppins floating around with the help of a pretty umbrella able to pull something out of the hat when necessary and this me feels like a magician whose wand has lost its power. I moved on to 'what Mum would have said' and decided her get on with it and make the best of things and enjoy what you've got approach is fine with no looking too far back or in front. Getting control of my eating is helping enormously to make me feel in control again' I've been for my last counselling session this week and the last thing she said to me as I left was 'stop analysing everything and when you have got through a situation learn what you can from it and then bin it in your mind'. Good advice I think.

Mother nature is proving to be my best friend at the moment and the pleasure I get from watching the wildlife is immeasurable. The last 2 nights have seen me walking down the lane watching the pipistrel bats flitting to and fro catching insects on the wing. They are so nimble and fast.

I think I've rambled enough and the coffee pot is calling

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639 kcal

Fat: 16.05g | Prot: 42.03g | Carb: 84.77g.   Breakfast: mixed berries, o% fage greek yoghurt. Lunch: tomato, wholemeal bread. Dinner: Silky Cauliflower Soup. more...