jul_i_anna's Journal, 02 May 2019

Today I logged back in after being gone for many months...and I am saddened to see how far backwards I have gone. This addiction to food is one of the hardest things I have battled in my entire life. I am essentially starting over. I am only a few pounds below my highest weight and am literally embarrassed. I exhibit so much control in so many aspects of my life but I cannot seem to take control of this. I just feel defeated today. I restarted the keto woe two days ago after a trip to the doctors scale...heartbreaking! Sadly, I have been embarrassed to go to the Dr for my annual checkup/mammogram because of my weight. I can only imagine the doctors thoughts of disgust when he sees my weight on my chart before entering the room. But this is the year that I make a conscious effort to take better care of my health. I have had too many close to me with serious health concerns and the dreaded "C" word recently and since it runs in my family I am trying to make a commitment to myself to make better choices, visit the doctor as I should and do everything I can to lower my risk. Prevention is my focus for the remainder of 2019!!! Wish me luck!