kingkeld's Journal, 08 October 2012

Good morning, friends!

It's Monday morning in Denmark, and there's an exciting day ahead of me.

I'm looking forward to a good day at work, I think, and I'm teaching my class afterwards.

My weight keeps going up. Day after day. It's really bothersome, but I'm doing right, and I know it will change. I just wish it wouldn't take so Damn long! Patience may be a virtue, but it's one I don't always master.

I had an awesome talk with one of my oldest buddies from here yesterday. She's really taken off, and is putting me completely to shame. Her overweight is gone, and she's working out on a level that leaves the tough guys behind.

And here I am having trouble getting my ass in gear.

Well, guess what. Today's journal is written from my stationary bike, and it's booked for a full hour second day in a row.

After I'm done, I have time for a quick shower, and then I'll pump up my exercise ball and take it to work. It'll be my desk chair for quite a while, if I can handle sitting on it for longer periods...

Normally, as some of you know, I stand up at my desk. But since I could use some ab work along with my cardio, it'll be good for me. If I get tired of the ball, I'll just stand up.

I gotta say I impressed myself yesterday. I got on the bike with a mission to beat the 20 ride i did Saturday. I ended going for a full hour. I could probably have done more too, but I didn't want to be all out of energy. It was awesome.

It's so nice to get inspired to keep going. It has been a rut for me for a while, and work load has not exactly made it better. Work is better though, and I'm a lot more positive. I hope this is a trend that I can keep up.

My morning pattern is a little different from what it used to be, so I honestly don't see myself a full hour on the bike while journaling every day. But I will journal and bicycle most days at some point of each day. I like a quiet and uncomplicated morning these days. It probably has to do with my stress levels having been out of whack. I'm better though, and thank you to all of you who asked me about it.

In my work I make decisions that csn make or break people's financial situation, so it's easy to stress over. I'm basically making sure things go according to the law and there isn't much wiggle room, but it's still my evaluation that pushes the decision in either direction. That can severely mess with your head. Still, I'm learning to put it away when I go home. I'm learning that the final desicion is the law. Nothing I can change about that. And if I don't give a person the bad news,someone else will have to. The end result remains the same, only I won't have the job.

20 minutes down on the bike. Not bad. Time flies.

To be honest, I'm not sure I will do 60 today. 20 minutes in, my legs are kindly remaining me of the one hour ride yesterday. Not good. Still, I will go as far as I can while still be able to walk to work. That walk is only about 5-10 minutes so it's not bad.

I had trouble sleeping last night. I hate that. I woke up at midnight. Laid awake until 1:30 and then got up. I felt bloated and constipated, and very very heavy. So I got up, and made coffee. I had quite a lot, several cups, before Wife woke up . That's when I realized that it naturally will mess with my weigh in, and I was already half way dressed. I know it's a lame excuse, but I couldn't be bothered to undress for a weigh-in, so I did it with the clothes on that I had put on at the time. All, but jeans.

The scale said 91.7 kgs. Damn. That ruined my morning for a while, but it also made me think of my buddy Sarah who is so Damn driven and motivated. She is the main reason I'm on the bike now. She's the reason I don't try to just do what I've done the last month with no results.

So I'm gonna eat my 1600 calories, and have my Saturdays with controlled Indulgence Days. AND I will exercise. Every day. Enough is frickin' enough. I see that I'm bigger. I feel that I'm bigger, and it breaks my heart that I don't feel in charge. I've followed plan all last week. The result? Not a damn thing. So I need to switch gear. Move. I'm doing it, and the sense of accomplishment alone is worth it. It's good to love.

Now let's not forget that other advantage i will have from moving. Exercise is a major stress reliever. I feel it, like I have before. When we stress over work or whatever it might be, we start running in circles. We actually work slower and we lose focus. We start "not having time" for things like exercise. Fact is, that for many of us who perform worse when we stress, we don't have time to NOT exercise. Exercise releases endorphins that are massive, natural stress relievers. Half an hour workout will give us energy and focus, and make us work faster. Talk about a good investment!

Sonthat is something I want to accomplish too. De stress. If you can get that to as a "side effect". To losing weight, I see no reason to hesitate.

I always have trouble getting going. Every time, I have to convince myself to do it. Every time I end up doing it, I realize how stupid I am for trying to talk myself out of it.

So it's good to be back. I really want this and I really want the benefits from it.

Another thing I see as a huge difference right now is the journal. As some of you know, I decided to cut it down a bit for a while. I felt that it was becoming a work load instead of being a tool for me. Well, writing while biking g today makes me re-realize the point to it. I work out my mind. I put focus on my issues. I let my thoughts wander.

I missed it. I want to write more again, and I see how biking and journaling will help me accomplish both. Not only do I get a full hour with focus on my biking. I also get a full hour of focusing on journaling.

Imagine this idea: write a daily journal and you'll burn another lb per week. We'll, my bike claims a 500 calorie burn in about an hour, so essentially this is true. That's wild!

So, at 20 minutes, I doubted that I'd reach the full hour. It's now 46 minutes, and it would be weak and lame to stop, right? RIGHT? OF COURSE I'LL GO THE FULL HOUR!

It's a hot ride though. I may be able to go the distance as before the surgery, but it's a lot rougher on me. Still it ain't gonna hold me back. No more.

It's nice to feel the drive. It's awesome to feel that motivation.

Just a few days ago I got on the bike to get moving. It bored me. I know what I did wrong. I had the bike facing the wrong way. No big screen movie or concert playing. No journal. So I got bored 5 minutes in. If that happens, I'll never reach anything useful. Now I see why I used to do what I'd do. I see why it worked.

I think it's important that we all find what works for us. I think this topic will be what I'll bring to class tonight. For my group to take my experiences and use it as their stepping stones for them to build on. Don't copy me, it might not work for you. But take what I can give and do your own thing. Find what you enjoy doing. And if you can't find an enjoyable way of losing weight, then learn to enjoy a way that works. It's all with it.

"if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". I think that's a good analogy in weight loss and health too.
54 minutes in. Almost there. "not sure I csn go the full hour".... Pfffft! LOL!

So I better start rounding up this LONG journal.

Today I'm thankful for:
- Sarahduke for making me look bad and actively kicking me in the ass. Thank you!
- motivation!
- drive!
- a day of paying it forward, inspiring people.
... And let's not forget morning coffee at 130 am.

EDIT: I just had an awesome little experience. I decided to bicycle to work, which means getting on a REAL bike for the first time since I weighted 155 kgs. Back then it was hard work to even get going. Today, it was a breeze! I have been curious as to how much weight I would need on my regular bike for it to feel like the real thing. I'm happy to say that it's just about the same, so I feel that I can compare. Of course, there are no hills or wind at home in my living room, but still. It was an amazing - and way too short - ride, and I see more coming in the near future.
END OF EDIT

Have an awesome week! I will show some results come Saturday! Life is good!

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1117 kcal

Fat: 48.47g | Prot: 114.03g | Carb: 54.99g.   Breakfast: Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Egg. Lunch: Chili Sauce, Egg, Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Broiled or Baked Pork Chop. Dinner: Chicken Breast. more...

3557 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 1 hour, Standing - 9 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 5 hours and 10 minutes, Desk Work - 30 minutes. more...