ThisKarenGal's Journal, 06 September 2012

The bus stop of life

I feel like my whole adult life has been like waiting for the bus to arrive. You know, "when I lose weight I'll do this, that, and the other thing". When I finally arrive at that magic # I'll finally get on the bus. Until then I've allowed myself to just sit and wait. I've waited so long that I've fooled myself into thinking that I don't want more of a life. That I don't like hiking and dancing and clothes. And a really, really DO like all those things! I don't go out. I don't have close friends - because I've become so narrow in my interests. The only time I go with other women is to eat. I've become the friend to pig out with. And I know why that is - I'm bigger than them so they don't feel guilty indulging in front of me.

On the more positive note - I'm down another couple of lbs this morning! I've realized that staying 100% on the Atkins program is the only way for me. It's humbling to admit that the maybe the experts at Atkins Nutritional probably know more about weight loss than me - the makeup artist.

I haven't started exercising - yet. I still feel quite ill when I work out at this size. And because this is a permanent change for me, I'm easing into it. I do like the way exercise makes my brain feel. Probably by the end of the month, when Freddie is at school for more that a couple of hrs a day - walking a hour a day will help clear my head.

Time to enjoy my muffin in a minute (MIM)!

278.6 lb Lost so far: 2.4 lb.    Still to go: 123.6 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1954 kcal

Fat: 137.07g | Prot: 131.81g | Carb: 56.65g.   Breakfast: splenda, cream, coffee, Muffin In a (MIM). Lunch: salmon salad, Oil Vinegar, lettuce. Dinner: pork chop, olive oil, roasted cauliflower, dijon, green beans. Snacks/Other: cream cheese, Deli Sliced Ham, baby dill pickle, cheddar, Advantage bar. more...