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Homework Assignment #2
Activity 1 - List my imperfections and share
ooooh, but they are many!LOL
1. The first one that comes to mind is defensiveness. I am a girl, born under the sign of the Eagle; a Scorpio who abides in the shadow of the phoenix, tumbling and stumbling through cycle after cycle of destruction that inevitably manifests itself in creation. And, just as the Eagle is designed from the tip of its beak to the last point on its hallux talon, to defend its territory at all costs, therein lay the shape of this girls spirit. Unfortunately, there is a fine line between defense and plain old stubbornness, and often in the midst of both it can and has hindered my ability to learn and often made my life more difficult then it has to be.
2. Over-accommodating. I do love to help, but this desire to help bleeds into a desire to appease, please, or gain approval or validation for my own feelings of self worth, even at the behest of my own emotional boundaries. Likely, the reason why I can be so defensive at times. LOL
3. I have an unfortunate attachment to standards. This is really essential to note, it's not always a conscious thing. I'm often the first girl to jump off the beaten path and do her own thing! But, the first one to rely on a standard when I simply don't know any better instead of genuinely questioning whether or not a particular way of doing things really works for me. In short, the first one to say, "Well ya know they say..." without really knowing or questioning who "they" is. It gets me in trouble because sometimes these standards really don't fit or are even harmful and I waste a lot of energy forcing square pegs into circles.
4. I have a short torso and a high waist which actually makes my arse look a LOT bigger than it actually is and makes many types of clothing unflattering. I have the kind of belly that makes me feel like I'm wearing a flotation device or spare tire around my front and back. I actually found myself so resentful of it the other day while working out, I no longer allow myself to lift weights in front of the mirror until I learn how to be kind to ALL the parts of this body. I have a combo of flabby lose skin and fat between my inner thighs and under my arms.
5. Because of the MS, I walk like a penguin most days with or without the walker. There are moments when the spasticity gives way to elasticity and my gait is almost normal, but it's temporary. I lose my balance often in a day (though, I haven't fallen yet), and the right leg is stiff enough at times to make me look like I'm walking with a "peg leg".
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