RkTkFx's Journal, 09 February 2016

I've always wondered why some women can be catty and vindictive, It doesn't make them enviable or top dog. In fact, women that I have envied for being awesome not only were really gorgeous and attractive, but also really kind and easy-going.  

Also, there is a gal I know that is skinny, and my skinny I mean no curves whatsoever. And that is fine, everyone comes in all shapes and sizes, however, she is always making remarks on overweight women she doesn't like, which has included myself and I admit I have lashed out and compared her body to that of a 12 year old boy. Yes, it was immature and I was stooping to her level. However, people shouldn't judge, espcially if they are not perfect themselves...no wait...scratch that...even if they are. 

TRUTH  

I don't know either about the cattiness... but it can get baaaad. I was never good at it... I always just said "I'm in good with the boss... so good luck... wanna take it further, I'll meet you outside" so I didn't really have too much of a problem cause I'm a bit too blunt LOL ... but ya.. when that group wanted to fight it out, they really did. so happy I don't work there anymore. much to stressful even if you are only watching the fights.  

I don't know either about the cattiness... but it can get baaaad. I was never good at it... I always just said "I'm in good with the boss... so good luck... wanna take it further, I'll meet you outside" so I didn't really have too much of a problem cause I'm a bit too blunt LOL ... but ya.. when that group wanted to fight it out, they really did. so happy I don't work there anymore. much to stressful even if you are only watching the fights.  

I've never been skinny in my life and more thank likely never will be lol I've got horses so I have muscles where most woman don't... I could never be like this to someone and hurt there feelings on purposely I just couldn't. I hope you have not been in the firing line of her bitterness.. I've been called names and I just think to myself I'm not going to rise to the person and give them the pleasure of retaliation.. Hope your okay and keep up your good work.. :) x 

I have to say, that was one of the most thoughtful and best posts I have yet to read and it can be applied to all aspects of one's life. Thank you.  

@Carol in Kinderhook - Your comment is very insightful. It seems our identity can go one of two ways. Either we let our body define us (I'm fat, I'm skinny, I'm ugly, I'm weak, I'm paralyzed, etc) and our personality is wrapped up in that physical identity. OR we choose what our identity will be inside, and our bodies eventually catch up. Hmmm, you all really got me thinking. When I was 190 and overweight (I'll post a before pic on here soon - 190 doesn't sound that bad, but when you see 190 on me - WHOOOOO BOOOYYYY~). Anyway, When I was 190, I saw myself as 20 years younger, 145 lbs, healthy, high metabolism, etc. In Sept 2014 at the Outer Banks, NC, I saw a pic of me from behind and I saw my fat rolling down my back and was totally shocked me. I wasn't young anymore. I'm older, and oh my, have things changed!! It took a while for that to sink in (about a year), and I started to run and watch my weight in Aug of 2015. I went from thinking I was young, 25 and could eat anything to realizing I'm aging, and I began to look at "older folk" in a sort of "I'm going to be that old guy someday". I guess I see myself now as an old man fortunate enough to be stuck in a younger mans body, and wanting to preserve what level of health I have for as long as I can. According to actuary tables(life insurance), statistically, I'm supposed to live until I'm 96. FREAKIN' 96!!! I figure it would be a shame to get that far and not make it to 100. So I should work to maintain my health so I can get there!! Either way, I guess my identity has changed quite a lot, but it has never been defined by my outward appearance. I choose my identity, and discipline my body to conform. I guess, in the end, that is why we are all here... To support each other in our various levels of transformation. Thank you all for your thoughts and comments. I learn from you all every day! LOVE YOU GUYS!! 

One last thought, time never stops. Thus, we age, our bodies change, we get fat, we get thin, we get old, we sag :) and so on. Our souls are a little more... shall we say, timeless? Where does the anchor for our identity cling to? Is it the shifting sands of time and our changing bodies? Or is it latched on to the rock of who we and who we always have been our whole lives deep down inside? Thank you all, again. You're the BEST!! 

Sad ,that she is acting this way. The best revenge is being happy in the eyes of the haters !!! 

I try not to be too "preachy" but guys, we are supposed to love each other! The Bible tells us this is the greatest commandment, love your neighbor as yourself and your God above all else. It is so sad that some people can't seem to be kind to others. Just sad, and in the end it will be tragic for them. 

Wow, you would think men are ones to pick fights but I think women are worse. We look at each other as competition and then ridicule each other. Its horrible. I feel like women should empower each other. I think its great to lose weight and feel good about yourself. Once I get to my goal I swear I warned my boyfriend I would walk around in my underwear in the house 24/7 LOLOL!! But in all seriousness. You should be confident regardless. Weightloss and success doesn't mean you need to bring down others along the way. I feel like succeeding in a healthy lifestyle should be celebrated and not change who you are! 

Loved the last line in your post. I was at the beach one day and noticed this group of 4 women (around 18) and 3 men (about) the same age. There was a beautiful young woman in that group. I mean astonishing. She settled in, wandered down to the lake edge, turned to talk to her friends about 15 meters away and started a conversation about nothing in particular using the vilest language I've ever heard (almost). One young guy with a family asked her if she would please tone it down. She berated him and called him everything you can imagine in front of his kids. Another guy spoke up and said to the group 'It's time to get your dog of the beach'. Before you knew it there were about 20 of us standing around the group. They said they were going to call the police and one of the biggest guys in our 20 said 'You better do it quick while you still can.' They left. Disgusting. Had a wonderful two hours in the sun with the group of 20 who pulled together and began trading stories and laughing. It was really empowering. People, if there's anything needed in this world, it's for us all to pull together again and be willing to fight for what we believe. 

The most craziest times I've ever been called fat and had my looks put down have been by a guy...who is fatter...and less attractive... Irony 

Great post!!!! :)- And She should remember sometimes weight comes back!!!  

People can be mean. People here can be so nice. Love you guys! 

Northernmusician - love your last line. It is going on my white board in my office tomorrow morning. 

:)  

Edarj.. very good...now I don't know if this will help with icecream and pizza, I simply do not buy them. If they are not in he house I can't eat them... I don't bring cookies home because my other name is cookie monster . Good luck 

Hmm... what I notice is women who go skinny tend to change... some go the "ho" route and some go the vindictive bitch route. Not sure why that happens though... but maybe, like you say, it's a confidence thing.