Socolova's Journal, 08 January 2015

You have to live there too, so need to be on board ...or not. Make a quick list about why you don't like it and things you do. If you find that the reasons you don't like it are mainly cosmetic, those are fixable. If you don't like the location, schools,...well, those things aren't changing. If your husband is a fixer-upper guy, or sees potential, maybe you could see it through his eyes?  

I am currently commuting 40 minutes to and from work, that's my big thing....and it's not any closer.... 

Hope you can both come to a joint decision on what to do and that he'll take your side into account....best if you're both on board with it to put in an offer. 

I agree with Ljbrooks. I feel that analyzing it that way may even help you to get excited. I'm living in a house now that I wouldn't have necessarily picked for myself, but circumstances have put me there. While I wasn't crazy about it at first, once I put my furniture in and painted, it feels more like home now. It's a happy place and being there with my family makes my reservations seem trivial. Does that make sense? Anyway, Socolova, good luck and I hope that you are able to make a decision that is acceptable to everyone. :) 

Thanks guys :) I really like the house itself, I just hate my commute :( 

Are there good things about the house that he really likes? What do you or don't you like about the house? Sometimes we have to settle for a place in the middle. I bought my home figuring I would be in it for 4 to 6 years and get another one now it is almost paid off, a home is really what you make it :) 

It has a gigantic garage and it's right by the public boat access for the lake we go on so we could park the trailer at home instead of fighting for a spot in the lot. Two HUGE things for him....I like it, but it doesn't help my commute. Since moving here I've had to get new tires and a new windshield and I've put so many miles on my car in the last year plus I spend like $200 in gas a month. Also we are still just as far from the amenities of Milwaukee, where our friends are, where stuff to do is...we really wanted a nice yard for our dogs, it's chopped up from the garage being so big....it's on a main road so that's another dog concern...and it has one small bathroom and we would like at least 1.5....I think we could live there but other than the close lake access and slightly bigger garage than what we are in now, it's really not an upgrade that our rental... 

We live on the lake too. We both have 45 minute drives (one way). It would be great to live closer, but it wouldn't have the personality of our rustic cabin. Pray about it.  

Sounds like a very nice place and yes with the bonus to him. I would enjoy a huge garage and a lake by me myself. As for the commute I know that bite I commuted from Colorado Springs to Denver for quite a while about $300 in gas a week and 3 hours on the road a day, but good for now gas is getting cheaper. Perhaps you could get something more fuel efficient?? This is a tough one as a guy I am with him as common sense I am with you.  

I hear ya...I feel the same way. It's a pickle. I have a Malibu, I can't really get more efficient lol 

Can you telecommute a day a week? Would your employer let you work 4 10's instead of a 5 day workweek? Maybe you can change some things on your work end. Is there anyone else who works close to your office and lives close to the new house? Maybe you could carpool once in awhile. Maybe your guy would be willing to have you stay with friends in the city where you work one night a week so you aren't driving so much.  

I'm stuck in a 7-3 M-F schedule unfortunately...I think my problem with the situation is more that my only requirement was to be closer to the city because work, friends, theaters, restaurants, so much stuff to do are all there....we came from a small town in Iowa that didn't have anything but bars in it so now that we are so close I want to experience the choices that a bigger city offers...he pretty much just likes to fish and be on the water so that stuff doesn't interest him....so of course, the house he finds is in the area he would want to be in...which isn't where I want to be....I'm trying to compromise but this house just isn't a compromise for me 

Can you find a house that is? 

Maybe rent him a space for the boat as a compromise? 

I think you both should be happy with the house you buy and compromises should(if it all) have to come from both sides. Just remember once you buy it you're stuck there. So don't do something that just makes someone else happy if it makes you unhappy. Even if it's your husband. You deserve the perfect house that you are happy with just as much as him! 

Don't mean to sound mean towards your husband i just strongly believe that both have equal rights to happiness and no one should expect the other to do something that makes them unhappy 

Of course they have another offer on it. They always do. It's the way 'un'realtors push you. Cynical? I think so. 

NM, we are having our realtor check to see...we looked online over the weekend and the status hadn't changed (our realtor said they have 48 hours to change the status)...@Woperchild, I have offered to rent him a slip for our boat but he doesn't like leaving it in the water so then I offered buying him a large shed, he thinks it'd be an eyesore...I just can't seem to win!! We got in a HUGE fight over the weekend, and I mean EPIC fight about the whole thing....he actually made the decision NOT to offer on this house and now he's on this big kick to buy the rental we are living in now...just to fix it up and sell it...why? Why not just buy one we like and skip the inbetween? We wouldn't make enough money in return for it to a wise decision (maybe 20k after putting probably 20k into fixing it up)...I'm all for compromise but it seems I'm the only one.... 

Sorry, these kinds of disagreements are really hard with something like a home that means so much on so many different levels. Isn't it frustrating when the person you love and have so much in common with seems to be on such a different wavelength about something important? 

@Woper, you are so right....it is, and disappointing...I thought we'd be able to POOF find something, but we are totally on different wavelengths...bummer