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I've realized in the last 24 hours that even though I'm excited about all the progress I'm making, not everyone near me is going to feel the same way - even people I would expect to have my back.
In some ways, I think the weight loss might be the final straw with some people. I've been noticing the tight forced smiles, the side eye when I mention the amount lost. When I got to 25 lbs lost and made my gleeful announcement I got a lot of bad vibes from the bigger females in the group. Suddenly, I wasn't the fattest one anymore and to have ME be smaller than THEM.
For the record, I am comfortably wearing size 18 pants and have given up on my size 20s since they're way too damn big. Today to work I wore a pair of size 18 pants and a sweater from New York & Company. (I'm almost at 30 lbs lost but I'm not calling it yet.)
Massage tomorrow. Yay!
Affirmations for today:
1) I am not responsible for other people's baggage.
2) People who only like me when I'm unhappy aren't people I need in my life.
Diet Calendar Entries for 22 September 2010:
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1641 kcal
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Fat: 44.67g | Prot: 97.68g | Carb: 223.33g.
Breakfast: Greek Style Nonfat Yogurt - Honey, Cream (Half & Half), Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Bagel Thins - 100% Whole Wheat, Cheese Wedges, No Calorie Sweetener Packets. Lunch: Apples, Mini Babybel Light Original, Baby Carrots, Sliced Lite Provolone Cheese, pepperidge farms deli flats 7 grains, Buffalo Style Chicken Breast. Dinner: diet pepsi, Close Talker Streaker Salad - Chicken. Snacks/Other: Grapes, water, claussen pickle, laughing cow cheese wedge, rold gold pretzel sticks, TLC cranberry walnut fruit & grain bar, Bottled Water, TLC Cereal Bars - Ripe Strawberry. more...
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3664 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 20 minutes, Housework - 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 5 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 45 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 10 minutes, Sitting - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 11 hours. more...
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 Comments
I love your number 2....think I need to adopt that one myself! And congrats on the weight loss!
22 Sep 10 by member: m4k2004
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they are just jealous because they dont have what it takes to be successful in weightloss as you do. boo hoo for them and yeah for you! You go girl!!!! Rock on!!
22 Sep 10 by member: Judi VanBuskirk
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I guess everyone takes a different approach. I didn't tell anyone how much I had lost, except my immediate family. It was difficult enough when people started to notice at work and comment. I got lots of 'you're getting too skinny' comments ... from large women of course. I just joked about it and eventually it stopped. Weight loss, even though many 'want' it is a difficult subject to discuss comfortably. I agree with your number 2 as well. I think you are in the midst of a transformation that encompasses much, much more than losing weight!!
22 Sep 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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I guess everyone takes a different approach. I didn't tell anyone how much I had lost, except my immediate family. It was difficult enough when people started to notice at work and comment. I got lots of 'you're getting too skinny' comments ... from large women of course. I just joked about it and eventually it stopped. Weight loss, even though many 'want' it is a difficult subject to discuss comfortably. I agree with your number 2 as well. I think you are in the midst of a transformation that encompasses much, much more than losing weight!!
22 Sep 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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I've been encountering something similar with my in-laws...I don't see them often & I really hadn't seen them since before I started losing weight. We got together with them recently & I know they noticed but none of them said anything. I didn't go out of my way to talk about it because I don't expect them to be supportive in the first place. I do know that it's only a matter of time before it will REALLY be noticeable, & I expect a lot of phoniness & passive-aggression from that side of the fam. Not really worried about it, cuz like you said, we're not responsible for other peoples' baggage. And by us finally committing to this process & doing what they should be doing but aren't, we're forcing them to be honest with themselves in a way they're not ready to be yet. Shake it off girl, tomorrow is a new day!
22 Sep 10 by member: kstubblefield
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Ignore the negative overweight people. I also got thin about a two years ago to the 190s and heard from at least a half-dozen or more heavy people I was too thin, and I was not for my height. Be grateful you have the willpower to get as far as you have. No one needs to be overly thin, but to get to your ideal weight is still likely to make many people who overeat get upset because they have no control when it comes to food - and you're doing for your health too remember...
22 Sep 10 by member: GlennM
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You know, the thing is I really think this is the straw. When we became friends, I was a mess (in many many ways), since then I've started an MBA, got a great job and now this... I probably shouldn't have said anything about the number but I really don't want to hide things. (Being completely secret reeks of my history with bulimia to me and I'm not going there.) Maybe I was naive but all I can think of is how I shouldn't have to shrink back because of other people's issues. Ironically, I'm still at least 25 lbs over what I was when I became friends with these people. All I can think about is all the crap we would sit around and eat and how they kept trying to get me to have dessert, they totally enabled my bad habits.
22 Sep 10 by member: suechru
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Hi Sue, you sound hurt by their reaction to the new Sue. Change is hard to accept for a lot of people. Keep up the great progress because you are worth the effort, you are now a goal model so if and when they come around for inspiration at a later time don't be to surprised. TOWANDA!!!!
23 Sep 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Strangely, the only one who seems jealous of my weight loss is my gay guy friend - oh well, that's what happens when you live on the West Coast.
23 Sep 10 by member: Runesinger
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The issue is not with you - it's the way they are. I went out to eat with relatives recently and one insisted we all have dessert. I said "no way". They know I've lost a lot of weight from say, ten years ago and realize it's one reason how. Just let things be the way they are - these folks are unlikely to change, but you aren't them and don't have to have junk food if they do, or dessert or extra large servings of food either. Almost everyone I hang around with or go places with overeats, I don't have to follow along - I just eat sensibly. Just realize many, many people struggle with food issues and often try to dump them on others...
23 Sep 10 by member: GlennM
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Wow, #2 really rings true for me. Thanks for sharing!
23 Sep 10 by member: GilmoreGirl
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Tooting a horn here. When you have a moment please read my journal for the 23rd of September as it might give you an idea or two. I am truly going to be playing with this during the next few months. TOWANDA!!!!!
23 Sep 10 by member: Lisa Online
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I hear you, Sue! Why do I even bother telling some people??? Just because I'm now 126 pounds doesn't mean that I don't need to build some muscle and lose some fat (recently tested at 30% body fat). So, I'll share with my FS friends that I purchased a Body Bugg and am loving it, that I'm working with a personal trainer and loving it, and am trying to eat "enough" while still having a calorie deficit every day. Personally, I think you rock! Pooey (how do you spell that???) on the nay sayers!
23 Sep 10 by member: Sunshine99
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For some people they will see this change as a bad thing because in a way they are losing a friend. By this I mean, where once they had someone to share those sinful desserts they now have someone that without trying to is critical of how they eat just by watching what we eat. The simple act of skipping the dessert can make the other person feel guilty, or like they are eating too much and this can turn to anger towards us. Our success can be felt like failure to them.
23 Sep 10 by member: Texas23
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I think your realization is something that many of us have to face in our own lives as well. Good for you!
23 Sep 10 by member: fatangryblog
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hey thank you so much for sharing b/c I get bad vibes off people at work too, I was on atkins last year and lost 30lbs and no one said anything to me really.. but when I couldn't hold it in and boasted I had gone down 2 sizes I got some ugly looks and sarcastic remarks.. and people have tried to sabotage me by bringing in all kinds of homemade goodies and even ordered an ice cream sundae thing for a meeting where all the makings of the sundaes were there and you go and make your own however you want and I was thinking ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? it's an office of 7 people.. none of us need anything extra.
But yeah.. people do get weird when they see us bettering ourselves.. you're doing great! feel proud! you're an inspiration!
23 Sep 10 by member: Stacera
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Great Journal Entry! Congratulations on the weightloss! Your doing awesome. Woot! I love Affirmations. Simply awesome. ^.^
23 Sep 10 by member: Jada Petsch
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Wow, didn't expect such an overwhelming response here. Guess I struck a nerve a lot of us are dealing with.
23 Sep 10 by member: suechru
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Three words: Misery loves company.
23 Sep 10 by member: sur365
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